


Rough

by Http_haz



Series: Just Barely Making It [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: America, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Blow Job, Bottom Louis, Fingering, Gay Sex, Hand Job, Harry Styles - Freeform, Harry and Louis are married, Husbands, I’m awkward, I’m done now, I’m really bad with tags, Jealousy, LA, Larents, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Long-Distance Relationship, Los Angeles, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Make up sex, Oral Sex, Rimming, Seperation, Sex, Sexual Content, Single Parent Harry, explicit content, idk what else to put, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, lol at these tags, louis and harry have kids, stylinson, too harry, trigger warning for sexual harassment, versatile
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-02-11 22:17:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 49,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12945189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Http_haz/pseuds/Http_haz
Summary: Second part to Just Barely Making It.I recommend that you read the first part before this!Louis and Harry have been married for 5 years. They now have a son together and their lives are completely different from the happy one they had a few years ago. Louis works a lot, leaving Harry to care for the kids. Their relationship together is already patchy. When Louis applies for a job in America behind harry’s back, their relationship takes a bigger toll. Especially because Harry refuses to move the family to America if Louis gets the job. If Louis gets the job, the family will year and leave them living on different parts of the world.ORRRRThe one where Louis is a dick and applies for a job in America and breaks up his and Harry’s marriage/family.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii! I’m back with part two! Thank you for everyone who read the first part and requested a second one. I’ve been working hard on this part. Already have the first 10 chapters written so I promise to do regular updates! Anyways. Hope you enjoy this chapter and the whole second part! 
> 
> Also. If you haven’t read the first part, you might want to before reading this so you aren’t lost (: it’s linked in the description.

I hear crying as I’m woken up from sleep. I move around and feel the covers being pulled on. I look over and see Joseph trying to crawl up. I lean up and grab him. He’s crying hard. 

“What’s wrong, Jojo?” I ask as I hold him to me. 

“Daddy I’m scared. Where’s Boo? I want Boo.” He cries. 

“He’s still out of town, my Love. Why are you scared?” 

“I had a bad dream.” He mumbles as he rubs his face in my shirt. 

“Well we still have a bit until we have to go to school. Want to lay with me?” I ask. 

He nods and sniffles. I lay down and put him beside me. I rub his face gently as he stays close to me. 

“I miss Boo.” He says. 

“I know. Me too. He’ll be back when you’re home from school.” I say. 

I kiss his head. 

“Go back to sleep, babe.” 

“Ok, daddy.” 

His eyes fall closed and I dry his face up. The kid is a spitting image of Louis and I love it. He’s adorable and is super sweet. He has his wild side, obviously. Louis is still his dad. I was always worried that I wouldn’t feel attached to him after he was born but I do. He is closer with Louis than he is to me, but that’s fine. He’s his child. He doesn’t understand that quite yet but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. It was hard on Bella when Joseph got older. He started calling me daddy and Bella did not like that. She didn’t understand because I’m her dad, not his. I had to have many talks with her about that and explain that he’s my child too. Legally he’s mine. We have the papers to prove it and all. I’m on his birth certificate. She eventually got use to it. Louis liked that we stuck with daddy/boo for Joseph too. He was worried about what he’d be called by him and I told him we’d have to wait and see what Joseph picked up on. Obviously he heard what Isabella called us, so that’s what he started doing too. The kids get along really well though. Bella adores him and they rarely fight which is good. That was a concern of mine too. Joseph is now 5 and Isabella is 11. We still live in the same house. Louis works for the same company but is now the head. His boss got caught in a scandal last year and Louis got the promotion when he was fired. I stayed with the company for awhile until I got my teaching degree. I now teach music at Bella and Joseph’s school. It’s a private school and pretty small. All of the grades are in one building but I only work with year 6 and younger. After we got married, Louis got all my charges cleared from my record. He surprised me with that. He hired a team to get it fixed for me and it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. It was something that needed to be fixed before I tried applying to a school. I finished school fairly quickly. I’ve been teaching for about 2 years and really love it. I mean. I get to work with kids and it’s music. I only work three days a week too. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Louis is gone a lot though so it is quite stressful. I’m doing a lot for the kids and he’s never around. It’s really put a toll on our relationship and things have been pretty patchy lately. It sucks. He’s exhausted all the time and so am I. It’s hard work taking care of two kids by yourself while working. I’m just glad I only work three days. 

I let my eyes close and sleep until the alarm goes off. It comes far too soon and I press snooze twice before getting up and showering. As I’m getting dressed, jojo wakes up. He whines as he rubs his eyes. 

“Daddy tell the sun to go away. It’s too bright!” He whines. 

I smile some and shake my head. 

“It’s time to get up. Go get your sister up while I make breakfast.” I say. 

He nods and crawls off the bed. I go downstairs and grab bowls. I’m too tired to make actual breakfast. They will just have to settle for cereal. They’re down after a bit, neither in their school uniform. Bella smiles and hugs me. 

“Morning, Daddy.” She says. 

“Morning princess.” I say. 

They both sit down and start eating. I grab a coffee and sit with them. 

“You all were suppose to get dressed.” I say. 

“Wanted your help.” Joseph says. 

“I was hungry.” Bella says. 

I nod. 

“Don’t forget that you have a football game after school, Jojo. Don’t have too much sweets at snack time or you’ll get sick again.” I say. 

He nods. 

“Boo will be there?” 

“Of course. You know he wouldn’t miss a game.” I say. 

Bella smiles. 

“I’m excited. I miss him.” She says. 

“Me too.” I say, honestly again. 

He left Sunday to go to France. He should already be headed to the train station by now. I grab my phone and send him a quick text. 

Me:  
Headed home yet? Kids miss you. 

Lou:  
Running a bit late. Have to have a meeting this morning and oh? Their dad doesn’t miss me?

Me:  
Of course I do. Please don’t forget about Joseph’s football game. It’s the last one. 

Lou:  
I’ll make it. Don’t worry. 

Me:  
Always worrying. Please just hurry home. 

Lou:  
I’m trying, harry. 

I just sigh and lock my phone. I help Joseph get ready before we head out. I walk them to their classes and give hugs goodbye before heading to the music room. The day goes normal for a Friday. I still haven’t gotten a text from Louis yet. He isn’t home when we get home from school. I have to hurry and change Joseph into his football gear though. When we get to the game and it starts, I try calling him. He doesn’t answer. 

Me:  
Where are you? Game has started. 

Nothing. I roll my eyes and pay attention. Joseph does really well. I’m so happy he got Louis’ athletic trait. He loves playing football. He’s actually really good too for a 5 year old. Bella loves watching his games too. We tried to get her into sports but she just isn’t interested which is fine. She’s been taking guitar and piano lessons for a few years now and is pretty good. I’m really impressed. She loves when I get my guitar out and sing with her. The first song she learned on guitar was her night time one. She surprised me with it and it made me so fucking proud of her. By halftime, I’m getting really frustrated with Louis. I text him again. 

Me:  
Louis. Where are you? 

He replies right as 2 minutes are left in the game. 

Lou:  
Got called into the office. On my way now. 

Me:  
Don’t bother. Game is over. 

Lou:  
Obviously I knew I wouldn’t make the game. I’m still in France. 

Me:  
You’re not even in London?? 

Lou:  
No. I said I got called in. 

Me:  
Didn’t care to let me know?

Lou:  
It’s been a long day. I don’t want to do this right now. I’ll see you when I get home. 

I put my phone away to watch. I don’t even give him a reply. Doesn’t deserve one. Joseph gets the ball and I feel my stomach flip as I watch. I ignore my anger towards Louis. 

“Yes Jojo! Go!” I yell. 

He gets closer to the goal and kicks it. It rolls right into the goal and everyone starts cheering. I jump up and start yelling. 

“Yes! Good job Jojo! My boy!” I yell. 

Bella is cheering for him too. He’s smiling so hard and runs to me. I start laughing as he hugs me. 

“I did it Daddy! I scored!” 

“You did! Good job baby! The game isn’t over yet. Go back out.” I say. 

I see him look around. 

“Where’s boo?” He asks. 

“Love, he got caught up at work. We can tell him all about it when we get home.” I say. 

He frowns some. 

“Go back. They’re trying to start.”

“No. I don’t want to go back. I want to go home.” He says. 

“Babe it’s almost over. Only 20 seconds left.” I say. 

He shakes his head and starts crying. I sigh and lift him. The coach gives me a concerned look. I motion him to go on without Joseph. He sends another kid in as they start up. 

“Baby don’t cry. Please. You did so well. Scored a goal. Why are you crying?”

“Boo isn’t here! He didn’t see me! He didn’t come to watch.” He cries. 

“I’m sorry, love.” I say. 

“I want to go home.” He cries. 

“Ok. Just a bit. I’ll have Bella go get your bag.” He says. 

I look at her and she nods. She walks around the pitch to the players side. The game ends and his team won. Bella talks to the coach for a bit, I’m sure telling him what happened. She smiles at him and heads over. She hands me his bag and I put it on my shoulder. 

“He said they’re having a party on Sunday. They’ll give out awards then.” She says. 

I nod. 

“Ok. Let’s go.” I say. 

Bella gets her trash off the bleachers and we leave. I buckle Joseph into the car and drive us home. I cook dinner and Joseph is still upset that Louis isn’t here. Bella I can tell is a bit bummed too. She was excited to see him. I give Joseph a bath after we eat and Bella joins to make him happy. He likes when Bella plays with him in the bath. It helps too because he stops crying and they’re both giggling as they play with their toys. Once they’re done and washed, I change Joseph into pjs and curl up with him on the couch. He starts crying again lightly. 

“I miss boo. Where is he?” He cries. 

“On his way.” I say. 

“You said he’d be home. You promised.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” I say. 

He eventually cries himself to sleep on me. I take him up to his bed when I start getting tired. When I come back down to get Isabella, Louis walks in. I just look at him as I pick Bella up. He glances at me as he sets his bag down. I walk to the steps. I don’t say anything to him as I pass him. I carry Isabella to bed and cover her up. I kiss her cheek before going back downstairs. 

“You really disappointed Jojo tonight.” I say as I walk into the lounge. 

“Don’t start.” He says. 

“Don’t start? He scored a goal tonight and was so excited about it. He ran over to get hugs from us but was devastated when you weren’t there. He was crying. Wanted to go home. Didn’t even finish the game. He’s been crying all night until he cried himself to sleep. Don’t tell me not to start when I’m just getting started.” I say. 

“I can’t help that I have an obligation at work, harry. What do you want me to do?” 

“You could start acting like you care about your family. I bust my ass to keep things as normal for the kids as possible but it’s hard when I’m pulling both of our weights. It’s not fair and I’m getting so exhausted!” I say. 

“You’re exhausted? I’m exhausted. After the day I had, I’m very exhausted.”

“You got a week away in France to go watch football matches and attend a few meetings. How could you possibly be exhausted from just that? I took care of two kids, cleaned the house, worked, cooked dinner every night, went grocery shopping, took Bella to her lessons, and Jojo to football practice while you sat around with mates drinking and watching football.” I say. 

He rolls his eyes. 

“That’s not all I do, harry and you know that.” 

“It is all you do!” I say. 

He stands and walks to the kitchen. I follow him. 

“You should have seen Jojo’s face. He was devastated. It was his last match.” I say. 

He slams the fridge door closed. 

“Ok! I get it. I disappointed my fucking child but there’s nothing I can do about it now!” 

“You shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place.”

“You know. I’d love to come home just once to a happy husband. Not one who’s bitching at me over everything.”

“You’d have a happy husband if you’d start putting more into this family.” I say. 

“Putting more-“ He stops. “You’re fucking insane.”

“Am I? I do everything around here, Louis. Everything!” 

“I paid for everything around here.”

“Don’t pull that shit on me!” I yell at him. “I pay my half and you damn well know that!”

“You dont. We have one bank account. It’s both of ours. I still paid for everything before you moved here.”

“Well why don’t I just pack my shit up and leave then? Since I didn’t pay for it, why am I even living here?” 

He stops and looks at me. 

“What the fuck are you- Harry listen to yourself!” 

“I know what I said. I’m sick of you coming home in a pissed off mood all the time and taking it out on me. You throw this in my face every time. I’m sick of this Louis.”

“Well maybe I’m always pissed off because I’m not happy!” He yells back. 

“Not happy? How could you not be happy when I literally do everything. You just have to come home and hug your kids and play with them! I take care of everything else already!” 

“I’m not happy at work, you moron. I didn’t say I wasn’t happy at home. I come home pissed off because I fucking hate my job.” He says. 

“You love your job. What are you talking about?” 

“I don’t. I fucking hate it.”

“Then quit! Fuck. If that’s the problem, then just fucking quit!” I yell at him. 

He’s quiet for a bit. I’m fuming. Physically feel hot from being so angry. 

“Well it’s not a problem anymore because they fired me today.” He says calmly. 

My breath hitches as I hear what he says. 

“What?” I ask. 

“They fired me. Called me in and had a big meeting about the future of the company and shit. Lasted all day. Last minute, they fired me. Right in front of everyone.” He says. “That’s why I was late and missed Jojos game. I got sacked from my job. They made me sit in that meeting all day just to fire me afterwards.”

“Louis I-“

“Just stop. I don’t want your sympathy.”

“Did they say why?” 

“Yes.” He says. 

I wait for him to tell me. 

“Well?” I ask. 

“I applied for another company and they found out. They didn’t quite like that I applied to be in with our biggest competition.” He says. 

“What? You applied somewhere else?” I ask. 

“Yea. Two weeks ago.” He says. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He looks away some. 

“Huh?” I ask. 

“It’s in LA.” 

“What? LA as in America?” I ask. 

“Yea.” 

“You didn’t think that you should, I don’t know, maybe tell your fucking husband that you’re applying for a job in Los Angeles?” I ask. 

“I don’t even know if I got it yet. I’d obviously discuss it with you if I got it.” 

“I sure hope so! What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“Me? It’s a better paying job and better company.” 

“In fucking america!” I yell. “Louis what the fuck! Did you just expect me to quit my job, say goodbye to my family, pack the kids up, and just move to America?”

“Well. Yea. If I was going, I hope you would come with me. That’s the whole point of being married. You’re kind of stuck with me.”

“The whole point of marriage is communication and you clearly are lacking in that department! I love my job. I would have to find another one.” 

“You wouldn’t have to work if I got this job.”

“I don’t have to work now but I chose to, Louis! I love working and I love my job.”

“Well just find another one then. I’m sure you can.”

“I don’t want to move to LA. I don’t want to move to America!” I yell at him. 

“That’s selfish.”

“Selfish? No. Selfish is you applying for a job in fucking America and not discussing it with anyone else!” 

“I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“That’s half way across the world! You can’t be serious. You can’t be this dumb!” 

“Apparently I am.” He says. 

“You’re insane. I’m not moving there.”

“So what happens if I get the job?”

“What do you mean what happens?” I ask. “You’ll decline it. You can’t move there without your family.” 

“So you’d make me turn down a great opportunity because you don’t want to go?”

“I’m your husband, Louis! Husband. We’re married, if you didn’t forget. You should have thought to talk to me about this before apply. I expect you to decline the offer if they give you one. I’m not moving our family there and you won’t make me. The kids and I will keep our asses here. I’m not moving them across the world.” 

“Jojo is my child. You won’t tell me what I will do with him. If you and Isabella decide to stay behind, then so be it but I’m taking my son with me.”

“Joseph is both of ours! You made the decision to share him when you married me and wanted to have a kid with me. He’s just as much mine as he is yours!” 

“He’s still my blood and I’m keeping him with me.”

“You’re willing to break this family all because of a stupid fucking job?” I ask. 

“I’m not going to turn down the opportunity. You’re the one breaking the family by choosing not to go!”

“Fuck you louis. Don’t you dare try to put this on me! This is all on you!” 

“It’s not! It’s my career and I will take the job if it’s offered. If you decide to stay back, then that’s on you. I won’t turn down a job that will help support my family.”

“Fine. Then if that’s how you feel, I’ll make this easy right now. I’m going to get Bella and we’ll just get the fuck out now. How’s that sound?” I yell. 

“You’re being ridiculous!”

“I’m not the one who applied for a fucking job in America!” 

“Daddy what’s going on?” I hear Bella mumble. 

I turn and look at her. She looks sleepy as she rubs her eye.

“Nothing baby.” I say. 

I go and lift her up. She’s getting so big. I know that soon, she’ll be too big for me to carry. I don’t want to think about that right now. 

“Come on, Love. We’re going to stay with auntie gem.” I say. 

“Harry stop.” Louis says. 

“No. You stop, Louis. If this is the decision you’re making, paint the picture of me walking out of the house real well into your head because that’s what’s going to happen if you choose to take that job.” I say. 

“So you’re just going to leave your son behind?” 

“Oh so now he’s my son?” I ask. 

He just watches me. I roll my eyes before I walk out of the room and grab my wallet and keys. I leave and put Bella in the car. 

“Why are we leaving?” She asks. 

“Because, love. It’ll be ok.” I say. 

She nods some. I start driving and call Gemma. 

“Hello?” She answers. 

“Hey. Bella and I need to stay with you tonight.” I say. 

“What? What’s going on?” 

“I’ll explain when I get there.” I say. 

“Ok. Yea ok.” She says. 

“Thank you, gem. See you in a bit.” I say before hanging up. 

It’s quiet as I drive and Bella is asleep when we get there. I put her in bed before sitting on the sofa with Gemma. 

“Sorry to wake you.” 

“It’s fine. I was just feeding Annie anyways.”

“How is she?” I ask. 

“Getting fat. Eats too much. She’s going to suck me dry soon.” 

I can’t help but smile. 

“She’s too cute though. How’s Michal liking the dad life?”

“Loves it. He’s incredible.”

“I knew he would.” I say. 

“Enough about us. Tell me what happened.”

“I think I just walked out on Louis.” I say quietly. 

She gives me a confused look. 

“Why?” She asks. 

“He got fired for applying to another company.”

“Why is that bad?” 

“It’s in Los Angeles.” I say. 

“What?” She asks. 

“Yea. And he forgot to mention it to me. He didn’t think it was a big deal. He thought I’d just follow him there but I’m not going to. That’s too far. That’d be a lot of legal citizen stuff that I don’t want to fuck with. I’m not moving there.” I say. 

“Harry I- I don’t know what to say.”

“He hasn’t gotten the job yet but I don’t see why he wouldn’t get it.” I say. 

“Maybe he wont take it.”

“He’s dead set on taking it. Said if he does, he’ll take Jojo and go.”

“He can’t do that. Jojo is yours too.”

“Apparently not. He said it’s his child and he’ll do whatever he wants with him. He’s just being a dick. How could he just want to do something like this?” 

“I don’t know. This isn’t like Louis at all. He loves you so much. Loves the kids too. Maybe he’s just having an off day because he was fired. I mean he’s jobless right now. He’s probably stressed.”

“He doesn’t need to be. We have the money for both of us to live off without jobs. We are fine. He’s just a dick.” 

“Maybe you should sleep on it. Discuss it again tomorrow.”

“I don’t think he’s budging. I’m not either. He’s gonna be the one to have to break. I’m not going.” I say. 

She frowns some. 

“I’d hate to see your marriage end like this, H. You and Louis are perfect for each other. Why have things been so rough lately?” 

“I don’t know. I really don’t.” 

“Maybe you all need to just..” She trials off. 

“No. We haven’t even touched each other in weeks. No way could we possibly do anything without arguing.” I say. 

She sighs. 

“Well maybe that’s the problem.”

I shake my head. 

“Having sex won’t fix our problems. It’s much deeper than that.” I say. 

“Well I don’t think you should leave it like this. Are you going to go back tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. I just needed away from him before I punched him or something. He was being insane.” 

“I’m sorry. I really am.” 

I shrug. 

“It’ll work out the way it’s suppose to. I should just prepare myself to be a single dad again. At least I can afford to go get my own place and survive.” I say. 

She frowns. 

“Hopefully it won’t lead to that.” She says. 

“He’ll see.” I say as I stand. 

She watches me. 

“Thank you for letting us stay. I should go make sure Isabella is still sleeping. This will be hard on her.” I say. 

She nods some. I go upstairs and into the room Bella is in. I shut the door and crawl in beside her. She moves some. I kiss her head. 

“Daddy?” She says quietly. 

“Just came to lay with you, love. Go to sleep.” I say. 

She moves close to me and I lay my arm over her. She lays against my chest. I smile some. She still fits perfectly against me when her small body is curled up. I think she’ll be a bit small like her mum was. She didn’t get my height unless she shoots up during puberty but I don’t think so. 

“Daddy?” She asks again. 

“Yes?” 

“Do you and boo hate each other?” She asks. 

“No. Of course not.” I say. 

“Why do you yell a lot then? I can hear you from my room.” She says. 

I run my fingers through her hair. 

“Couples fight all the time. We’re fine. Everything will be fine.” I say. 

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” 

She nods. 

“Ok, daddy. I love you.” She says. 

“Love you too. Go to sleep.” 

She moves closer and gets comfortable. She stills. I feel my chest tighten. She’s going to be crushed if anything bad happens and I won’t even know how to explain it to her. Louis means everything to her. She really does claim him as her dad. I know it will fuck her up if he isn’t in her life anymore. I shake my head and push the negative thoughts away. I just need to sleep and pray tomorrow is better.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what happened and why this story was posted twice but I fixed it. Lost some comments/kudos on the other but that’s fine. I’m not worried about it. So you can find the story here. Sorry for the confusion (: anyways. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Read end notes for possible double update today ! Enjoy .xx

I wake up the next morning feeling really down. Isabella isn’t in bed with me anymore. I get up, use the toilet, and go downstairs. I see Bella sitting on the couch holding Annie. 

“Daddy look! She’s sleepy on me!” She whisper yells. 

I smile at her. 

“She’s surprising been out for awhile now. Usually she doesn’t sleep on others. She must like Bella.” Gemma says. 

I sit down beside Bella and rub her head. 

“Can you and Boo have another baby?” She asks. 

I laugh some. 

“No, love. We don’t need anymore.” 

She frowns. 

“But I want a sister. Look at how cute she is.”

“You’ve got Annie. You know auntie Gem will let you over here whenever. She loves when you help.” I say and move her hair back some. 

She smiles and nods. 

“Yea.” She says. 

“You’re going home today right?” Gemma asks. 

I shrug and look at her. 

“Has he tried reaching out to you?” She asks. 

“Haven’t looked.” 

“H.” She says. 

“I’ll probably head back soon. Don’t worry. I just needed away for the night. I’m sure things will be alright but I don’t want to talk about this when she’s in the room.” I say and motion to Bella. 

Bella watches Annie sleep. 

“Why can’t Jojo be this small still? He was a cute baby. Now he’s big.” 

“You were this small once too. Tiny little thing.”

She giggles. 

“No!” She says. 

Annie starts moving some and starts crying. Bella’s eyes widen and she pushes Annie towards me. 

“You take her.” She says. 

I laugh some and grab her. I lift her in the air some and kiss her nose. 

“What’s wrong little babe? Why are you crying?” I ask. 

“She can’t talk, daddy.” Bella says. 

I smile and shake my head. I kiss at Annie’s face a few times and she starts laughing. I make noises and faces at her. She only laughs more. I smile and cradle her. She reaches her hand to my face and smacks me some. I bite at her fingers gently and she has a big smile on her face. 

“I miss when Bella was this small. She was such a sweet baby.” I say. 

“I’m still sweet, daddy.” She says and lays her head against me. 

“Right. You are, baby.” I say. 

Annie let’s out a fart and Bella starts giggling really loudly. I move Annie from me and look at Gemma. 

“That’s your cue, mummy.” I say and hand her over. 

She rolls her eyes. 

“If you won’t change your own nieces nappy, then I’m kicking you out.”

“I’ve had my fair share of nappies in my life. I refuse to change any more.” I say. 

She smiles and walks off with her. 

“Daddy can we go see boo now?”

I nod. 

“Yea.” 

———

When we get home, I’m nervous. Bella runs inside before I’m even out of the car. I sigh and get out. I walk in and shut the door behind me. I hear voices in the kitchen and go there. Bella is hugging Louis as he stands at the stove. 

“Daddy!” Jojo says. 

He runs to me and I pick him up. 

“Where were you and sissy this morning?” He asks. 

“We went and saw auntie gem.” I say. 

“Why didn’t you bring me?” He asks and frowns. 

“You were sleeping, silly.” I say. 

He smiles. 

“Oh.” 

I kiss his face before setting him down. 

“Did you all eat breakfast?” Louis asks Bella. 

“Not yet.” She says. 

“Ok. Sit down and I’ll make you a plate.” He says. 

I go to the coffee pot and start some coffee. I grab a mug down and watch as it brews. Louis doesn’t speak to me and it makes me feel even more lost and upset. When the coffee is done, I pour me some before going upstairs. I sit in the bed and turn the Telly on. I turn it to some stupid home improvement show as I sip my coffee. I look around and see Louis’ side of the bed unmade and slept on. His dirty clothes are in the floor too. I set my mug down and get up. I grab the clothes and put them in the laundry basket that is getting full. I grab the basket and walk to the laundry room down the hall. I start a load and go back to the room. I straighten his side of the bed up before sitting back down. I grab my mug again as I lean against the head board. I sit in the room for awhile watching the screen. I’m not really paying attention though. Louis walks in and I look at him. 

“The kids want to go to the park.”

“Ok. So take them.” I say. 

He just looks at me. He’s quiet for a bit. 

“You don’t want to go?” He asks. 

“Not really.” 

“Oh.” 

He nods some and walks to the dresser and gets some clothes out. He grabs his adidas joggers and changes into him. I look back at the Telly because the last thing I want to do is watch him get undressed. I’m mad at him. He sits on the bed as he pulls his sneakers on. 

“Are we not going to talk about last night?” I ask. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He says. 

“I want you to tell me you made a mistake.” 

“I wasn’t the one who walked out last night.” He says, not even looking at me.”

“I’m not the one who applied to a job across the world.” I say. 

He’s quiet. Exactly. He stands and walks to the door. He stops and looks at me. 

“I have an interview on Thursday so I’m leaving on Wednesday to go.” He says. 

“What?” I ask. 

“I said I’m not turning this opportunity down so you better start getting on board or just go ahead and start packing.” He says. 

I’m shocked as I look at him. 

“You’re willing to throw away our family, our marriage for what? A job?”

“I’m not throwing it away. You are.” He says before leaving. 

I get up and follow him out.

“Get back here!” I say to him. 

He ignores me. I hurry after him and grab his arm when we get to the bottom of the steps. He jerks it away. 

“Don’t touch me!” He snaps. 

“I’m not done talking to you!” 

“I don’t care. I’m done talking. I have nothing left to say to you!” 

“Nothing left? Fuck that. Your big mouth always has something to say!” I yell. 

I hear a whine and look over at the couch. Bella and Joseph are sitting there. Joseph is covering his ears and his eyes are closed. I feel my stomach knot up. I thought they were in their rooms. 

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to us. To them.” I say to Louis as I point to the kids. 

“Don’t you dare put the blame on me!” 

“It’s all your fault! If you wouldn’t have applied for that stupid job in the first place, we wouldn’t be in this position. So yes. You’re the one to blame.” 

“You’re my husband. You’re suppose to support me with everything I do.” 

“And I do! This is too much though. This is life changing and you should have discussed it with me before!” I say. 

He shakes his head. 

“That’s so selfish of you, Louis. Why don’t you see that? We have a life here. Our families are here. This is our home. Why do you want to ruin everything?”

“It’s not bad to start over somewhere else.”

“I don’t want to start over. I want to stay right here. With you. With them. I don’t want anyone to leave.” I say. 

“Well. We’ll just have to see how the interview goes.” He says. 

He looks at the kids. 

“Come on. Let’s go to the park.” He says to them. 

They get up. I point to Isabella. 

“Sit down. You’re not going.”

“What?” Louis says. 

“That’s my kid. You don’t have any say. I said she’s not going with you and that’s final. Take Jojo and go have a good day without us. Might wanna see what it feels like to not have us in your life. If you go to LA, that’s how it’s going to be.” I say. 

“Harry.” He says, clearly annoyed.

“I’m done with this conversation. We will discuss it later when they are in bed.”

“You’re being ridiculous. I said I’ve got nothing left to say to you about it my decision is made.” He says. 

“Well you know my decision so then it’s settled. Isabella and I will be gone before you get back.”

“Harry just stop! I don’t even have the fucking job yet!” 

“Even if you don’t get the job, you just showed me your true colors and we need to take a rain check because I’m not ok with this.” I say. 

He rolls his eyes. 

“Whatever. Jojo. Let’s go.” He says. 

He goes to him. 

“We’ll be back later.” He says. 

They leave and I look at Bella. She looks upset. 

“Come on. We need to pack a quick bag.” I say. 

“Daddy I don’t want to leave boo and bubby. Why are we leaving?” She asks. 

“Because, Love. Just please. I want to leave soon.” I say. 

She frowns but follows me upstairs. 

———

Louis left for America yesterday for the interview and the only time we spoke is when I came home to pick up Jojo for school. Well we didn’t really speak other than him telling me he’ll be back on Saturday. I’ve stayed at the house while he’s been gone so the kids don’t feel like much is going on. We’re telling Jojo that I’ve been staying with Gemma to help with Annie. It’s Thursday now and I’m in bed when I get a call from Louis. 

“Hello?” I answer. 

“Hi, love.” He says softly. 

I roll my eyes some. 

“Hi.” I say. 

“I just got out of the interview. It went well. They really like me.” He says. 

I look down. I feel my eyes burning with tears. 

“They said I’d hear back on Monday but I’m pretty sure I got it.” 

My tears fall even though I try to stop them. 

“Please lou. Please come home and let’s talk about this. Please, baby.” I say quietly, trying to make him feel bad. 

“Hey. Even if I get the job, i won’t be leaving for awhile. It takes a bit for the visa to go through and stuff. Getting that figured out. We have time to figure our shit out too.” He says gently, like he’s trying to sooth me, not anger me. 

“I just want you here. I miss you, Lou. I’m sorry for all this shit. Let’s just talk more when you’re here. Talk about us. Talk about the kids. Please.” I say. 

“Ok, love. We can. I promise. Hey I’m gonna get a flight tonight ok? I’ll change it. Please don’t cry. You know I don’t like when you’re upset. Especially if I’m not there..” he says. 

“I’m sorry..” I mumble. 

“I’ll be home tomorrow. Probably when you get back from work. Ok?” 

I nod but remember he can’t see me. 

“Yea. Ok..”

“I love you, harry. We’ll get this figured out.” He says. 

“I love you too.” I say. 

It’s quiet for a bit before I hang up. How do I tell him it won’t be ok because I’m still not going to America with him. Somethings gotta give or this family will be torn right down the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii! Hope you enjoyed this. So since I forgot to update yesterday and this chapter is short, comment below your thoughts so far and if you want another update later tonight! I will if enough people want it. I’m still testing the waters with this story and hope it doesn’t flop bc I think it gets interesting. So yea. Thank you for reading and also, if you subscribe to the story, you will be notified when I update. So that’s cool (: thank you and I look forward to seeing what you all think so far .xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second update today. Hope you enjoy .xx

I’m in my last class of today and it’s been rough to say the least. I’m really down and just want Louis home and for him to tell me he’s changed his mind. I don’t want him leaving us. That’s the last thing I want. I smile when I see Jojo run to me as his class comes in. I smile and pat his head as he hugs me. 

“Hi daddy!” He says. 

“Hi baby. Go take your seat on the carpet.” I say. 

He smiles and hurries off. They all sit around. 

“So since it’s Friday, it thought we could play a game. It’s the last half hour anyways.” I say. 

They all cheer happily. 

“I was thinking musical chairs. Everyone knows how to play right?” 

They all nod. 

“If you don’t, everyone walks around the chairs while music plays and when the music stops, you quickly find a seat. If you don’t have a seat, you’re out.” I say. 

They all nod. I start setting the seat/ up in a circle. They help me. 

“Here’s the twist though. I’m going to be playing the songs we’ve learned in class and you all have to sing along. If you don’t sing along, you’ll be out. So sing loud and pretty alright? I’ll sit here and play.” I say as I grab my guitar. 

They all circle around the chairs. I sit on the corner of my desk. 

“Ready?” 

“Yes!” They say. 

I start playing old Mcdonald and they sing loudly with me. When I stop the first time, Jojo is the first to get out. I laugh some. 

“Jojo! You’re suppose to win, not get out!” I say. 

He giggles. 

“Sorry.” He says. 

“That’s ok. Go grab an instrument and help me play.” I say. 

He nods and runs to the toy section and grabs the small drum and sticks. He hurries back and sits at my feet. We continue the whole class and people purposely started getting out because they wanted to play with the toy instruments. They love when I let them play with them. The class goes great and it helped cheer me up. When it’s over and they go back to class to get picked up, Jojo stays because well, I’m his dad. He helps me put the chairs and instruments up. 

“Daddy is boo coming home today?” He asks. 

“Yes. He should be there when we get home.” I say. 

“Will you and sissy please stay home tonight?” He asks. 

I feel my heart just ache. 

“Hopefully, sweetheart.” I say. 

He nods. It’s quiet as we clean. Jojo gasps. 

“Boo!” He yells loudly. 

I turn and look at the door as he runs to it. I see Louis standing at the door. He smiles and lifts him up as he gets to him. 

“Hi, my boy. How are you?” He asks. 

“Good! We played musical chairs in daddy’s class but I’m not good. Kept losing. But daddy let us play music when we lost. We did the pig song and the bus song. It was fun!” He says quickly. 

Louis starts laughing. 

“Sounds like great fun.” He says. 

“Boo!” Bella says as she walks in. 

She hugs Louis tightly and he smiles at her. He rubs her head. 

“Hi, love.” 

“How was your trip? We missed you.” She says. 

“It was good. I missed you too.” He says. “Why don’t you take your brother to get his backpack from his class, yea?” He asks. 

she nods and he sets Joseph down. They both leave. His class is close and there’s teachers in the hall so I don’t have to worry about them. Louis looks at me. I look away some. He walks over and hands me a small flower. I look at it before looking at him. He leans up some and gives me a soft kiss. My stomach flips as I feel his lips on mine. We haven’t kissed in so long. So so long. It’s the same feeling I have every time we kiss. That spark I’ve felt since the first time we snogged on his sofa that is now my old gross sofa that the kids have ruined in their now playroom. Louis lost his man cave soon after Joseph could walk. I hold his hip as he presses his lips to mine harder. I move back after a bit. 

“Hi.” He says. 

“Hi.” I say. 

He smiles and moves away before someone comes in. 

“You took this from our garden.” I say and hold the flower up. 

“Yep. But I used the garden scissors because I knew you’d have my head if I didn’t.” He says. 

I smile and shake my head some. 

“Well Isabella will have it if she knew you took her favorite flower off.” I say. 

His eyes widen some. 

“We don’t have to tell her..” I say. 

“Yea. Uhm. A flower fairy came and took it.” He says. 

“She doesn’t believe in fairies.” I say. 

“Why? Her dad is one.” 

“Which one?” I ask. 

He rolls his eyes and smiles. 

“Oh fuck off.” He says. 

I smile and give him another quick peck. 

“Hey. Maybe we can call the lads up and go to the pub or something.” He says. 

“Jojo wants us home tonight. They haven’t seen you much lately. Maybe tomorrow.” I say. 

He nods. 

“Yea. Perfect. I’ll call them up later. Maybe we can order in and watch some films.” He says. 

“Sounds lovely.” I say. 

Bella and Joseph come back in with their stuff. 

“We’ll go pick up the food while you finish up here. How’s that sound?” He asks. 

I nod. 

“Yea. I’ll see you at home.” I say. 

They leave and I look down some. Maybe things won’t be so bad. Maybe he’ll see how good our family is and how much the kids want us to stay together. Maybe he’ll reconsider. That went too well for him to just leave everything. I’ll need to really prove that this weekend. I finish cleaning and take my time. They’ll be a bit anyways and I haven’t cleaned much lately. Once I’m done, I pack my bag and lock the door. I head out and home. I see Louis’ car out front when I park. I park beside him and get out. I smell pizza when I go inside and my stomach growls at the smell. I forgot my lunch today so I’m really hungry. Bella and Joseph are already eating at the coffee table in front of the Telly. I go to the kitchen and Louis is making two more plates. I’m assuming for us. I go behind him and kiss the side of his neck. He pushes his bum back against me. 

“Hey..” I say. 

“Sorry. Habit.” He says. 

“Tomorrow, yea?” I ask. 

He pushes his bum back again. 

“Or now.” He says and looks over his shoulder at me. 

I smile and grab his hips. 

“Damn lou. Even after all these years, you’re still a little shit and try to do things when there are children around.” I say.

“Can’t help it. Look at who my husband is.” He says. 

I hum some and kiss his neck again. 

“Mmm. Husband. I love when you say that.” I say. 

He smiles and laughs. 

“Yea because that’s what you are. My husband.” He says and wiggles his hips some. 

“Filthy.” I say and smack at his hip. 

I move back and he whines. 

“Hey. Come back.” He says. 

I grab a piece of pizza and a plate with two more slices on it. I take a bite. 

“Sorry. I have a date with our children in the other room and a belly that is in need of some pizza.” I say. 

He pouts some. I grab his face and give him a messy pizza sauce filled kiss. 

“Tomorrow and I’ll even let you top.” I mumble. 

He groans some. 

“Harry!” He says. “You never let me- babe.” 

I smile as I chew my food. 

“Thought it’d be special since you’ve been gone a lot.” I say. 

He groans again and reaches for me but I move away. 

“Tomorrow.” I say over my shoulder as I walk to the lounge. 

Bella smiles at me as I come in. I sit on the couch and she moves so she’s sitting in front of me, between my legs. She hugs at me leg. I smile some at her. She keeps eating and Louis comes in. I notice his slight hard on and snort. He glares at me before sitting. He places a pillow in his lap before putting his plate down. 

“Shut up, fucker.” He mumbles. 

“Boo. That’s a bad word!” Jojo says. 

“You’re exactly right, Jojo. Bad, boo. We’ll punish him later. No desert tonight for him.” I say. 

“Yea!” Jojo says. 

“I’ll get my desert tomorrow. It’s fine.” Louis says. 

I cough some on my pizza and Louis smiles. 

“You Alright Love?” He asks. 

I nod some. He pats my back. 

“What’s with you and choking on things. Come on, love. Wouldn’t hurt to slow down.” 

My eyes widen and I smack at his chest. 

“Enough.” I say. “What movie are we watching?” 

————

When we go to bed that night, everything just feels so right. We gave the kids a bath and played with them as they did. We all were a bubbly mess by the end and we had fun and laughed a lot. I sang them a bed time song as they cuddled in Bella’s room. Jojo insisted on sleeping with her since we told him he couldn’t sleep with us. We raised him a bit different than Bella. We don’t let him sleep with us whenever he wants. Bella still to this day will crawl into our bed and I will take blame for that. Sleeping with me was all she knew for the first 5 years of her life. That’s what she’s most comfortable with. I don’t always let her. Unless she’s scared from a nightmare. If she doesn’t have a reason, I send her back to her bed. She’s getting older now. Not too old, but old enough to sleep on her own. 

Louis cuddles up to me after I change into night clothes. He kisses me gently. 

“I love you.” He says. 

“Love you too.” I say. 

He lets his eyes close. We need to talk about this whole job situation but today was too good. I don’t want to ruin it. We can talk tomorrow. I close my eyes and pull him closer to me. I let myself drift off into a peaceful sleep feeling okay with things for once. I’ve got my boy right with me, our kids sleeping in the other room, and that’s all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading! I really hope you’re enjoying this. If you are, I’d love to hear from you. This story gets really intense and drama filled so buckle up lol. I just hope you all like it as much as I like writing it. Anyways. I should post again tomorrow. Just watch for an update (: xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi(: hope you enjoy this chapterrrrrr .xx
> 
> (Bit of smut since it was requested.)

We have another great day together as a family. We went to the park and had a picnic for lunch. Louis brought his football and we all played even though I’m shit. I still haven’t brought up the job. Maybe he just won’t get it. I’m praying he doesn’t. That’s horrible but I don’t care. We’re happy here and hopefully he can see that. I’ve been trying to make this weekend as happy as I can. 

We dropped the kids off with Gemma. She was excited to watch them and for Louis and I to be hanging out alone. Thinks it’s good for us. My mum is in this weekend too so they get to see her. I’m getting dressed after my shower. We are getting dinner before going out. I’m brushing my teeth when I see Louis come in. He’s already showered and ready. He smiles at me and comes behind me. I’m only in boxers. He hugs me around my stomach and kisses my back. I spit in the sink and rinse my mouth before wiping it. He hums. 

“We should head to the bed first before we leave.” He says. 

I smile some and shake my head. 

“No way. You will just be too tired to go out afterwards. I want to see everyone. We haven’t gone out in so long.” I say. 

He frowns. 

“At least let me suck you off or something. Look at you, baby. You look so good. I wanna touch.” He says as he lets his hand move south. 

I stop him before he gets his hand in my pants. 

“Tonight.” I say. 

“Yea? And I can still do what you said yesterday?” He asks. 

I nod. 

“Yes, love. Promise you.” I say. 

He smiles and squeezes at my dick some before kissing my neck and walking out. I shake my head some and smile. I get dressed and we head out to a lovely dinner. We talk and laugh like normal. LA doesn’t get brought up. When we get to the pub, Niall throws his arms around us. 

“Lads! I’m so happy you’re here!” He says. 

I smile as I rub his back. He leads us to the booth he has. I see Liam with his newly wed, Zayn. I nod at him. Liam and I eventually made up. He admitted that he was in fact jealous of me because he liked Louis. Had for awhile but he wasn’t out. No one knew he was gay and he was scared. He said he loved Louis and when I came along, it made him mad that he never said anything before. It took a long time for us to be fine with each other. When I worked with them, they made sure we weren’t around each other. I was literally on the other side of the office from Liam Louis and Niall. I rarely saw them. It got better after Liam met Zayn. They got married about two months ago and it was a nice, small wedding. I sit in the booth and Louis slides in with me. 

“Hey. How are you all?” Liam asks. 

“Fine. Just had dinner.” I say. 

“Babe what do you want to drink?” Louis asks. “Coke?” 

“Water please.” I say. 

He nods and kisses me before getting up. 

“You all doing ok?” Niall asks. 

“Yea. We’re fine.”

I know he knows about Louis’ application. I don’t know if Louis told them we weren’t on the same page or not. I don’t want to talk about it though. 

“Please don’t bring up LA tonight.” I say to them. 

“Yea. No absolutely. Wasn’t going to. Didn’t know what was going on with that. Understand.” Liam says. 

I nod some. Louis comes back with a tray. He has four shots, a mixed drink, and a water. He sets it down and hands each boy a shot. 

“We have something to announce though.” Liam says. 

Louis sits and we all look at them. Zayn smiles and grabs Liam’s hand. 

“What?” Louis asks. 

“We got accepted to adopt a baby.” Liam says. 

“Oh my god! Are you serious?” I ask. 

“Yea. A baby girl.” Zayn says. 

“Holy shit! Congrats! That’s amazing!” Louis says. 

“I’m so happy for you all.” Niall says. 

“Thank you. We are really excited.” Zayn says. 

“Well then. I’m glad I got shots. Cheers, boys. To you all.” Louis says and raises his shot. 

The others follow and I raise my water some before they take their shots. I sip the water. 

“So tonight is a celebration then?” Louis asks. 

“Yea. I guess.” Liam says. 

“Let me go get another round.” Niall says before hurrying off. 

I pull Louis close to me. 

“Don’t get too drunk. We still have things planned for later.” I say into his ear. 

He smiles and reaches his hand down to rub my thigh. He looks at me. 

“Oh. I won’t forget.” He says before kissing me. 

Soon, all the lads are pretty drunk and they’re playing old music in the pub and we’re all singing loudly and just having fun. 

“Let’s dance.” Louis says. 

“What?” I ask with a laugh. 

“I want to dance.” 

“Babe. We aren’t at a club. No one is dancing.” I say. 

“I wanna dance.” He pouts. 

I smile. 

“Then dance.” I say. 

He frowns more and crosses his arms. I kiss his pouty lips. 

“Stop being a baby.” 

“I just want to dance.” He says. 

“I’ll dance with you.” Liam says. 

I look over at him. Jealousy rushes through me. Although Liam and I are better, I still have my guard up with him. 

“No no. I was just joking. I’m gonna dance with him.” I say. 

“Thanks Liam. I knew that would work.” Louis says. 

I roll my eyes and push him out of the booth some. 

“Zayn. Let’s dance too.” Liam says. 

He nods and follows us some. 

“No worries. I’ll just sit here and entertain myself.” Niall say. 

“Sorry Ni.” I yell back at him. 

He just smiles. Louis pulls me to the open area and faces me. He giggles some. 

“Hi.” He says. 

I grab his chin. 

“You’re drunk.” I say. 

“Yep.” He says. 

I smile more. He moves closer to me and presses his body to mine. I look around. No one is paying us any attention. I grab his hips as he puts his arms around my neck. We start moving to the music and my eyes are on him as we move. I almost forget we are in a public place but I don’t really care as long as he’s with me like this. He smiles. 

“I’m gonna destroy you when I get home.” He says. 

“Promise?” I ask. 

He nods. 

“Yes.” 

“Might wanna sober up. It never works out when you’re drunk.” I say. 

“I’ll make it work.” He says. 

“Whatever you say.” 

He just kisses me. 

“I’ll make it work. I want you so bad. Missed you so much.” He says. 

I groan some as I listen. 

“We’re still in public and it’s too early to leave without look suspicious. Calm down.” I say. 

“Who gives a fuck. I want everyone to know who’s taking you home tonight.” He says. 

I roll my eyes some but still smile because he’s amazing. We dance a few songs but he gets thirsty so we go back. Liam and Zayn are back and I noticed a few more people dancing now. I guess we started something. I sit as Louis goes to the bar. 

“Are you still on the market, Niall?” 

“Oh yea. I love being single.” He says. 

“You’re the only person I know who enjoys that. But hey. Sometimes I wish I had no one else to report to. Unfortunately I have three people.” I say. 

He smiles. 

“Yea but it’s your family. That’s nice too.”

I nod. 

“Very nice.” I say. 

Louis comes back with a drink and sits. I’m positive he’s gonna be too drunk when we get home to even do anything so I’m not even going to get my hopes up. He looks good still. I reach over and grab his hand. He looks at me as he drinks his drink. I smile some. He smiles around his straw before looking back at Niall. I look down at our hands. My left hand is holding his left one too as he holds himself up on his arm. I look at our hands and our wedding bands sparkle some from the small light above us. I intertwine our fingers. I love this. I love him. I don’t want to think about us not being together. That’s terrifying to me. He’s my everything. My person. The one I’m suppose to be with. We have a kid together. Our boy. And Isabella. I can’t imagine my life without him or Jojo. I will never give up Jojo though. Never. I know we have to talk about this but I just don’t want to. Maybe he won’t get a call on Monday. Maybe they’ll find someone better. It’s hard to think that way because I know Louis is amazing. He’s probably going to get it and it really hurts. I’m praying he changes his mind. 

“Hey. You ok?” Louis asks. 

I nod and look up at him.

“Just tired is all.” 

“Well wake up, butter cup. We have a long night ahead of us.” He says before grabbing my thigh again. 

“Yea? Wanna get out of here then?” I ask. 

He smiles. 

“Yes. Absolutely yes.” He says. 

I nod. He grabs the shot in front of him that I didn’t notice before. He takes it before downing the rest of his drink. 

“Alright lads. We’re going home. He’s letting me top tonight.” Louis says. 

I gasp. 

“Louis!” I say. 

He smiles. 

“Sorry sweet cheeks. I’m just excited.” He says. 

I feel my face heat up and the others laugh. 

“You all have fun.” Niall says. 

I don’t reply. I just leave with him. I help him to the car and go around. I start driving. His hands are on me immediately. I’m kind of surprised. 

“Hey. Wait.” I say. 

“No. Want to touch now. Waiting too long.” 

He starts grabbing at my belt and pants. 

“Lou.” I mumble as I try to concentrate on the road. 

He pulls me from my pants and leans over, taking me into his mouth. I’m not fully hard but half way. I have been almost all night. I can’t help it. I groan some and grab his hair as he sucks my tip. 

“Babe.” I moan softly. 

I feel his tongue lick all over me and I squeeze his hair. I harden quickly and grip the steering wheel tightly. 

“Fuck Lou. You’re going to kill both of us.” I mumble. 

He drops his head down hard and swallows me down all the way. I moan louder and accidentally tap the breaks some. 

“Lou- fuck, baby.” I say as I jerk his hair. 

He pulls off and strokes me. 

“Missed this. Missed you. Missed your dick.” He mumbles before kissing my tip. 

He lets his tongue kitten lick at me. 

“Please don’t. Not while I’m driving.” 

He smiles and sucks me down again. I try to keep my eyes open. We’re so close. I pull down our street and speed up some. As I do, Louis starts bobbing his head more quickly. 

“Fuck-I’m Close. I’m so close.” I moan. 

I haven’t even touched myself in weeks. This is so embarrassing how fast I’m about to get off. Maybe it’s the situation that makes it more intense. I don’t know but I’m dangerously close. He reaches down and takes my balls into his hand, massaging them gently. I feel myself tense up and I let go of his head to click the gate open. I click it a few times as if that would make it go faster. It slowly rolls open. 

“Louis- I-“ I Stop as my body tenses some. 

I pull into the driveway and quickly put the car in park. I grab his head tightly as I drop my head back. He swallows me down again and moans softly. The vibration does it for me. My body tenses hard and I jerk as I release into his mouth. I pull his hair and squeeze his head as he milks me. He swallows everything I have to offer and slows down as he helps me through. I groaning softly and squirming. He finally pulls off with a pop and jerks me slowly. He looks up at me and smiles. I pull his face to mine and kiss him hard. 

“You little fucker.” I say quietly. 

He laughs some and kisses me again. 

“That was so hot.” He says. 

I shake my head. 

“I could have wrecked and killed us. They would have found us with my dick in your mouth.”

“At least I would have died doing something I love.” He says. 

“Oh my god..” I say quietly. 

He starts laughing more. 

“Come on. I’m just getting started.” He says. 

I nod and turn the car off and press the gate opener to close it. I put myself in my pants but don’t bother buttoning them. We go inside and upstairs to the room. He’s stumbling more now. I’m sure that last shot and drink did him good. I’m practically holding him as we walk. 

“Babe are you gonna be able to do this?” I ask quietly. 

“Yea. Yea. Want to.” He mumbles. 

I get him to our room and sit him on the bed. He sways some. 

“Hey. Why don’t you just lay back and let me take care of you.” I say. 

He pouts. 

“Wanna fuck you.” He says. 

“You can barely sit up.” I say. 

He lays back and lays his arms above his head. 

“Ride me then.” He says. 

“I’m not prepping myself. You know I don’t like doing that.” I say. 

He pouts more. 

“You’re awfully pouty tonight.” I say. 

“I’m awfully horny too.” He says. 

I sit beside him. 

“Also awfully drunk. Babe why don’t we wait until tomorrow. You’re trashed right now. Doesn’t feel right.” I say. 

“I’m ok. It’s not bad.”

“I feel like I’m taking advantage of you. You know my feelings on having sex when you’re like this.” I say. 

“I’m consenting. I consented yesterday and today when I was sober. I’m your husband. You can fuck me whenever. I’m ok.” 

I just watch him. He rubs my arm some. 

“Want you so bad, baby. I’ve missed you.” He says. 

I don’t reply. He leans up and straddles me. 

“Fucked myself to the thought of you even though I knew you were mad at me. I listened to old voicemails I had on my phone just so I could hear your voice while I did.” He mumbles and kisses my neck. 

My hands immediately grab his hips. 

“Want you so bad.” He says and grids himself down on me. 

He bites at my collar bone. 

“Fuck me. I just want you.” He whispers. 

I throw every doubt I had out the window. It’s Louis for Christ sakes. I can have him whenever I want. He’s mine and I’m his. I flip us so he’s on his back and I’m leaning over him. 

“You want me to fuck you?” I ask. 

He nods and moans. 

“Yea. Badly. Please.” He says. 

I kiss him hard. Things move very quickly. We are both desperate and so needy. We rush through prepping. He’s never been one to need very much of it. He told me once that he liked the sting of when I enter him before he’s completely ready. Likes the pain. That was odd to hear but if that’s what he’s into, I won’t turn it down. I always make sure I’m careful though. I still don’t want to hurt him too badly. We are both pulling at each other and squeezing skin as I slam into him. He’s being loud tonight too. Most likely because he knows we’re home alone and no one can hear us. But maybe because we haven’t fucked in so long too. 

“Wanna ride you. Wanna ride you.” He mumbles between moans. 

I nod some and pull out. I sit beside him and he moves to my lap. I hold at my base as he sits down on me. We both moan softly. He makes me lay back down and puts my hands above my head. He bounces on me quickly and I close my eyes some. 

“Fuck.” I moan. 

His mouth is on my chest as he kisses and sucks everywhere. His tongue moves across my skin too and he nibbles at me every now and then. It’s all getting too much. He feels so good and he’s adding more pleasure just by his mouth on me. He leans up some and places his hands on my chest as he bounces. He rubs my torso as he watches me. Small moans fall from his mouth. I look down at where we meet and it’s a sight I will never get tired of seeing. I see his legs shaking some though and I know him being so drunk doesn’t help. I grab his arms and pull him forward some. He bends down and kisses me. I bend my knees up and grab his hips. I jerk my hips up to meet him and start thrusting up as quickly as I can, chasing my high. He moans out loudly against my mouth as I pound into him, hitting his prostrate dead on each time. His body tenses hard before relaxing. He squeezes at my shoulders, digging his nails into my skin. 

“Fuck fuck- gonna- oh-“ 

He moans and he tenses again. He clenches around me tightly before his body jerks. Moans start falling from his mouth, one after another as I feel his warm release on my stomach. His body is shaking and twitching as I keep up my pace. My thrusts and his clenching hole brings me quickly to the edge. I buck up into him three more times before I’m spilling into him, cumming hard. I groan as my high rushes through me. His mouth is back on mine as his hips squirm around. Our kiss is sloppy mixed with tongue and moans. It’s still great though. I slow as we come down. Our lips slow too as we kiss lazily as we come down from our daze. He moves back and looks at me. I open my eyes and he has a weird look on his face. Before I can question him, he’s hiccuping and turning his head to the right, and throwing up all over the bed. I gasp quickly and drop my hips so I slip out of him. He coughs some and let’s out more vomit. 

“Louis.” I say. 

I’m stuck under him and can’t get away from the puke that is pooling up and coming my way. I lift him some and move my body away and off the bed. I watch him in shock. Never has he ever thrown up after we fuck. He’s definitely too drunk and I shouldn’t have even gone through with this. 

“Oh god.” He mumbles as he coughs. 

I go to the bathroom and grab a towel. I bring it to him and he wipes his mouth as he sits on his feet. He just breaks down crying. I’m even more surprised. 

“Lou. Baby don’t cry.” I say to him. 

He just shakes his head. 

“Babe.” I say. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey. Come on. Go get in the shower while I clean up.” I say and grab his arm. 

He nods some and stands. I hold his arm tightly. 

“I’m so drunk. I’m sorry. You told me not to drink too much. I didn’t listen. I never listen.” He cries lightly. 

“Shhh. It’s ok. We were celebrating tonight. Don’t worry about it. First lads night in awhile too. It’s ok, love.” I say as I walk him to the bathroom. 

I turn the shower on. 

“There. Shower and I’ll clean.”

He shakes his head. 

“Want you to join.” He says. 

“I need to clean the bed before it gets onto the mattress.” 

“I’ll wait.” He mumbles. 

I nod lightly and walk out. I take everything off the bed carefully and bring it to the washer. I start the machine after putting the top comforter in. I’ll wash the sheets after. I close the lid and go back to the room. I make the bed quickly and go back to the shower. He’s leaning against the wall beside it with his head down. 

“Come on.” I say. 

He steps in and reaches for me. I get in with him and move him under the water. He holds my hands. 

“You’re too good for me. I’m fucking everything up.” He says softly. 

“No you aren’t.” I say. 

He nods. 

“I am. I’m tearing us apart and I’m sorry. I don’t want us to split. I love you so much, harry. I really do. I’m your husband. You’re mine. I don’t want to think of a life without you and Bella. I don’t want to lose you.” He cries. 

I pull him close to me and hug him. His arms move around him. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” I say. 

Literally. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. 

“I don’t want you to stop loving me.” 

“I could never.” I say. 

“You keep leaving. I don’t want you to leave again.” He says. 

“Let’s talk about this tomorrow ok?” I ask. 

He nods and looks at me. 

“You love me? You do?”

“I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t.” I say. 

He nods again and kisses me. I scrunch my face some. 

“And I wouldn’t let you kiss me with a pukey mouth if I didn’t love you.” I say. 

“Oops..” he says. 

“Let’s wash up and go to bed.” 

We finish quickly and change before falling back onto the bed. His body is pressed against mine as he lays his arm around me. His head lays against my back as his hand rubs my belly. 

“I love you so much.” He says. 

“I love you too.” I say. 

It’s quiet and I know he’s asleep. I let my eyes close too and force myself to turn my brain off and sleep for a bit. Tomorrow. We’ll talk tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading and responding so far. Hope you all are enjoying this story. If you’d like to comment and let me know your thoughts, I’d love to read them! Thank you for the support. New chapter tomorrow or the next day .xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ! Sorry for the late update. Enjoy .x

When I wake up the next morning, I don’t feel a body beside me. I look around and the bed is empty. I lean up and hear groaning from the bathroom. I get up and walk towards the sound. I peak in and see Louis sitting in front of the toilet. 

“Lou?” I ask quietly. 

He flushes and groans again before laying his head on his arm that’s resting on the seat. I walk over to him and rub his head. 

“What the fuck happened last night?” He asks. 

“You got really fucked up.” I say. 

He coughs some and spits up into the toilet. It’s not much. 

“I’ve thrown up so many times. Nothing is left.” He mumbles. 

“You had a lot to drink.” I say. 

“I don’t even remember. I remember taking shots with everyone. Lots of shots and that’s it. Nothing else.” He says. 

“You don’t remember making me dance?” I ask. 

He looks over at me. 

“Or giving me road head and almost killing us?” I ask. 

His eyes widen some. 

“Or pouting until I would fuck you even though you were piss drunk?” I ask. 

“No..” he says quietly. 

“Yea well you threw up when I was still inside you.” 

He gasps some. 

“Did I puke on you? Oh my god. That’s so embarrassing. I’m so sorry Harry!” He says. 

“No. You threw up beside me. All over the bed.” 

“I ruined it didn’t I? Did we even finish?”

“Yea. You did it like right after we both finished. You were on top and almost got puke all over me because I couldn’t move away.” I say. 

He hides his face in his arm. 

“Oh god.”

“And then you cried.” 

“Why did I cry?” He asks. 

“You felt bad. I don’t know. You were just rambling on about stupid stuff. Crying for no reason really.” I say. 

“Fuck.” He mumbles. 

I’m not going to tell him why he was actually crying. Hungover Louis is NOT who I want to have this conversation with. 

He looks up. 

“What else? Did I do anything else embarrassing?” 

“No. I cleaned up and then we showered. Went to bed after. That’s all.” I say. 

“Thank god.” He says. 

I just nod. 

“I’m so hungover. Fuck. I’m never drinking again.” 

“Yea right.” I say and smile. 

He smiles some too. 

“Come on. Go lay in bed. I’ll go get you some water and breakfast.” I say. 

He nods and I help him up. He lays in bed and I go downstairs. I make him eggs and bacon. I make some toast too before filling a glass with water and bringing it upstairs. He smiles as I walk in. 

“You’re amazing.” He says. 

I hand him the food and water before laying beside him. I watch him as he starts eating. I lean over and kiss his thigh before letting my head rest on it. He rubs my hair some before he continues. It’s quiet as he eats. I just rest my eyes. 

“Open.” He says as I feel him poke my lip. 

I open my eyes and see him holding a piece of bacon in front of me. I open my mouth and he feeds it to me. I rub his leg. 

“Bacon is good.” He says. 

I nod. 

“Got a new brand.” I say. 

I scratch at his skin on the inside of his thigh. Not in a weird sexual way at all. I just like feeling at him. It’s quiet. 

“That explains why my bum is so sore today.” He says quietly. 

“You wouldn’t let me prep very much.” I say. 

He hums some. 

“I’m sure you just fucked me super hard too.” He says. 

I smile some. 

“Yea. I did.” I say. 

“Wish I remembered. Now I’m too hungover to even think about sex.” He says. “Feel like shit.”

“I’ve fucked you millions of times. I’m sure it was nothing new.” I say. 

“Yea but unlike other couples who have been together for years, I actually enjoy sex with you. I don’t just fuck you to fuck. I still feel all bubbly inside and get excited like I felt the first time we fucked. It’s still interesting to me. Not boring at all.” He says. 

I smile more and kiss his leg again. 

“I love you, Lou.” I say. 

“I love you too.” He says. 

He sets his plate aside and lays down beside me. He faces me and holds me close. 

“Now hold me close until I feel better.” He says. 

I nod and hug him to me. He kisses at my chest. It’s quiet for a really long time. I’m almost dozing off again when he speaks. 

“When do we have to get the kids?” He mumbles. 

“I don’t know. Probably just whenever. You know Gemma doesn’t mind.”

“Good. That’ll be too much for me to handle right now. My head is pounding.” He says. 

I kiss at his hair. 

“We can get them when you start feeling better.” I say. 

He nods. 

“Let’s sleep. I’m tired.” 

I nod and rub his face some. 

“Dream about me.” He mumbles. 

I kiss his head again. 

“Always.” I say quietly. 

He smiles and I let myself fall back to sleep. 

————

Louis and I spent the day laying around. I know he was feeling better after noon but he was still laying on me on the couch. He claimed he was still not feeling well but he would start yelling loudly and laughing as we played FIFA. It’s hard to play when he’s laying on me but it’s not like I had much of a chance. I’m shit at FIFA now because I rarely play. Him and Bella play a lot and Jojo tries to play sometimes. I hear my phone go off. I pause the game and get my phone from my pocket. It’s Gemma. I get nervous and answer. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi. How are you?” She asks. 

“I’m fine. Lou is recovering from a massive hangover. Other than that, fine.” I say. 

She laughs some. 

“I figured since I hadn’t heard from you yet. I was just calling to see if you wanted me to feed Bella and Jojo dinner or not.” She says. 

“Uhm. No. We’ll be over there in a bit. We’ll probably go out for dinner.” I say and look at Louis.

He smiles and nods. 

“Ok. Just let me know when you’re on your way.” She says. 

“Ok. Thank you, gem. Love you.”

“Love you too.” She says before hanging up. 

“Ohhh. Taking me to dinner now? How romantic.” 

“Yes. Very romantic date with our children.” I say. 

He smiles and kisses me. 

“Yea. Best kind of date. Couldn’t ask for anything more.”

I smile some. We finish the game and get ready before picking them up. Jojo wanted to go to the burger place that gives smiley chips. I knew he wanted to go because it also has games. While we’re eating Joseph plays with his chips. He gives them different voices as he plays. 

“Oh no! Watch out for the scary monster!” He says in a high pitched voice. 

I watch him. 

“I’m hungry!” He grumbles out before biting off the side of its face. 

He dips it in ketchup quickly. 

“Oh no! There’s blood everywhere!” He says in the same high pitched voice. 

“Ew Jojo! Daddy tell him to stop.” Bella says. 

I smile some. He’s such an interesting little kid. Always doing something weird. 

“Joseph. Eat your food. Stop playing.”

“Ok daddy.” He says. 

I look at Louis and he’s smiling some. As usual, they don’t eat all of their food so Louis and I finish their plates for them. When we’re done, they beg to go play a few games. I let Louis take them while I pay the bill. I leave a tip and go find where they went. Louis and Bella are playing a racing game and Jojo is cheering Bella on. She’s actually winning. I go behind Louis and cover his eyes. 

“Hey!” He whines. 

Joseph and Bella start giggling. She ends up winning and I move my hands. 

“Not fair! That’s cheating.”

“Lou. I swear I married a grown man, not a child. You’ve been pouting a lot.” I say. 

“Yea, Lou. You’re being a baby.” Joseph says. 

Louis grabs him and pulls him onto his lap and starts tickling him. He squeals and starts giggling loudly. 

“Stop!” 

“What did you call me?” Louis asks. 

“I was joking! You’re boo. I meant boo!” He squeals. 

Louis stops and kisses at his face. Joseph giggles and moves from him. 

“You all ready?” I ask. 

They nod and stand. Joseph reaches for me and I lift him. He rests his head on my shoulder and Louis grabs Bella’s hand as we leave. Once everyone is buckled, Louis drives us home. He bathes Joseph while Bella showers. I go to the bathroom and see Jojo playing. Louis is watching him. I sit on the edge of the tub. 

“Hi daddy. I’m paying.” Joseph says. 

“I can see that, baby.” I say. 

He smiles and continues. 

“Do we have to go to school tomorrow?” He asks. 

“Yes.”

“Can’t we stay home with boo?” 

“No, love. You have to go to school.” I say. 

“I’ll help you get ready in the morning and make you breakfast. How’s that sound?” Louis says. 

Joseph smiles and nods. 

“Yea!” He says. 

“Alright. Time to get out. Your fingers are getting wrinkly.” I say. 

He nods and stands. 

“Yea. They’ll fall off if you stay in too long.” Louis says. 

Joseph whines and grabs at me. 

“Louis! Don’t tell him that.” 

Joseph pulls at me and I lift him from the bath. Louis laughs some. 

“Jeez. He really takes after you sometimes. Can’t take a little joke.” Louis says. 

“He’s 5.” I say as I wrap a towel around him. 

My clothes are wet now from him. I’ll have to change again before bed. I carry Joseph to his room and dry him off before changing him. He follows me to my room. Louis is changing out of his jeans. Jojo grabs my leg and hides behind it. I look down at him. 

“Boo is a meanie.” He says. 

“Baby he was just joking with you.” I say. 

He shakes his head and hides his face in my thigh. I look at Louis and he laughs some. 

“Your son.” He says. 

I flip him off and smile. I set Jojo on the bed while I get dry clothes on. Louis leaves. 

“Can we watch race car?”

“No love. It’s too late to watch the car movie.” I say. 

He frowns. 

“We can watch some cartoons though. Just for a bit.” I say. 

He nods. I lift him up and carry him downstairs. I go to the kitchen and get him juice in his cup. I hand it to him and he lays his head against me as he drinks from the lid. I go sit on the sofa. Louis turns cartoons on. Bella comes down and whines some. 

“Daddy I wanted to sit with you.” Bella says. 

“Jojo is sitting with me.” I say. 

She pouts more and stomps her foot. 

“I want to! That’s not fair!” She says. 

“Bella come sit with me.” Louis says. 

She shakes her head and comes over. She tries to sit with me too but Jojo pushes at her. They both whine and start shoving at each other. 

“Hey! Knock it off.” I say. 

“But I want to sit with you! You’re my daddy! I wanna sit!” Bella says as she starts crying. 

“No, Bella. Dry it up. Don’t be a baby. He was with me first. Now sit down or go to bed. You know better than to act like this.” He says. 

“You were my Daddy first!” She cries. 

“That doesn’t matter! Don’t be rude. You either sit or go to bed.” I say. 

She cries more and covers her face. 

“Someone’s sleepy.” Louis says. 

He stands and picks her up. 

“Let me go tuck you in.” He says. 

They go upstairs. Joseph starts sipping at his juice again. I grab the blanket and cover him up. He pats at the blanket. I already see his eyes getting tired. Louis is back down soon and sits down. It’s quiet as we watch the telly. After a bit, Joseph throws his cup on the sofa. 

“All done?” I ask. 

He nods and turns some in my lap so his face rests against my chest. I rub his cheek. He closes his eyes and stretches some. His arms raise and I kiss one of them. He drops them and stays sprawled out on me some. I smile and shake my head. He sleeps just like Louis. He’s always spread out all over the place. Nothing like Bella. She sleeps curled up. Sometimes she sprawls but mostly just balled up. It’s cute. Makes her look tiny. We sit down here for a bit before we head to bed. I carry Joseph to bed and lay him down. I kiss his face. He moves some and mumbles something. 

“What?” I ask. 

“Love you.”

“Love you too. Sleep well, babe. Boo will wake you up in the morning.” I say. 

He nods and rolls over. I go to our room and Louis is already in bed. I turn the light off. The Telly is on though. I lay down and cover up.

“Goodnight.” I say. 

He leans over and kisses me. 

“Goodnight. I love you.” He says. 

“Love you too.” I say. 

I kiss him again before he moves away. He watches the Telly as I let myself fall asleep. I have work so I have to be up early. Need my rest. Tomorrow is Monday too. That’s when he’ll hear back from the job. I’m praying still that he doesn’t get it. We’ll just have to see what tomorrow brings and hopefully I still have a whole family by the end of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. If I don’t have time to post tomorrow, I’ll post on Sunday ! Thank you for reading and comment to let me know your thoughts if you want .xx (:


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello! Here’s the next chapter. Enjoy.cx

I wake up the next morning to my alarm. I turn it off quickly and stir around some. I feel my head pounding as I move and my throat feels like it’s burning. I cough some before rubbing at it. I feel a hand rub my face. 

“Babe.” I hear Louis say. 

I look up some and see him standing beside the bed. 

“I made you tea. You were coughing all night.” He says. 

I sniff some and sit up. 

“I feel like shit.” I say. 

He hands me the cup. 

“Thank you.” I say. 

“Maybe you should call in today. The kids are already up and eating breakfast.” He says. “I’ll take them.”

I nod some. 

“Yea I might.” I say. 

“Ok, love. Let me know if you need anything.” He says before kissing my head. 

He leaves. I sip at the tea and sigh some. My head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. I grab my phone and give my boss a quick call letting her know I won’t be in. I hope they can find a sub in time.. I finish the tea up and use the toilet before going to lay back down. Bella comes in as I cover up. She frowns as she walks over. She grabs one of my hands. 

“Boo said you’re sick.” She says. 

I nod some.

“I won’t see you in music class?”

“Not today, baby.” I say. 

She frowns more and crawls in beside me. She hugs me close. 

“Babe. I don’t want you getting sick.” I say. 

“I just want to hug you.” She says. 

I let her get her way but only for a bit. I’m cold too and she’s quite warm. she pets at my head some. 

“I’m sorry for being fussy last night, daddy.” She says. 

“It’s ok. Thank you for apologizing.” He says. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” I say. 

We lay for a bit but Louis comes and gets her to leave. She kisses my head a few times. 

“Get better.” She says. 

I nod some. 

“Have a good day.” I say. 

She leaves with Louis and I try to get more sleep. Hopefully I will feel a bit better later. 

———

Louis wakes me up to take medicine and I still feel like shit. He sits on the edge of the bed. 

“Why don’t you go take a warm bath?” He asks. 

I shrug some. 

“Warm shower. Steam will probably help.” He says. 

I nod. 

“Yea..” I say. 

“I’ll go start it.” He says. 

He disappears into the bathroom and I pull myself from the bed. the shower is running as he feels the water. I undress myself and put my clothes in the hamper. I go to the shower and he smiles lightly as I step in. I sigh as the water falls on me. He watches me. I look at him before reaching my hand out. 

“Join.” I say. 

He nods some with a small grin. He undresses and steps in. He comes right to me and hugs me. I hug him close and lay my head against his. 

“I’m sorry you feel so sick.” He says. 

“Hopefully the medicine works.” I say. 

“Yea.” He says. 

He rubs at my back lightly. 

“This was a bad idea. I just want to lay down.” I say. 

“Let me wash you.” He says. 

I nod. He grabs a cloth and wets it before adding soap. He starts wiping at my body gently. I just let my eyes close. He kisses my shoulder. I look at him and he smiles. He continues and I wash my private bits. I rinse off and let him wash at my hair. It doesn’t take long. He showers quickly and turns the water off. I watch him though. He’s so damn gorgeous and I wish I wasn’t feeling so shit. He’s beautiful and standing naked with me. I want nothing more than to just reach out and touch him more but I want to go sleep again. He grabs a towel and wraps it around me. He wraps one around himself. I go to the room and dry myself. I pull boxers on but can’t talk myself into putting anything else on, so I lay back in bed. By lunch time, I’m feeling a bit less dead. I guess that medicine is working. Louis leaves me alone most of the time which is fine. Just checks on me every now and then. He made me soup for lunch and I decide to go downstairs and actually sit with him. I throw on a shirt before. He’s sitting on the sofa. I go to him and sit on his lap. He laughs some. 

“My big baby.” He says. 

I smile and hide my face in his neck. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Like shit.” I say. 

“I’m sorry.” He says. 

I move from him and lay down. 

“Hey. Come back.” He says. 

“Wanna lay down.” 

He nods and pats his lap. I lay my head on it and he starts playing with my hair. 

“Bella was upset that she wouldn’t see you today for her class.” 

“I know. She told me this morning.” I say. 

“Joseph kept asking to stay home and be your doctor. It’s cute how much they care about you.” 

“They care about you too. Always ask about you when you’re gone and beg me to call you so they can talk.” I say. 

He just rubs my head. 

“Can’t believe Jojos first year of school is almost over. He’s getting so old.” 

I smile. 

“Just over a month. They’re both growing too quickly.”

“I know. I could barely pick up Bella last night. I already committed though.” He says. 

I laugh some. 

“Growing girl.” I say. 

I know I should bring up the job. I really should. I just don’t want to. I like how things are right now. I don’t want them to be different. But we need to talk. 

“Lou?” I ask quietly. 

“Yea?” 

I move away and sit up some. I cross my legs as I face him. He sighs some, like he knows what I’m gonna say. 

“We need to talk about this.” I say. 

“So talk.”

“I don’t want things to be different. This weekend was so good, Lou. I don’t want anything to change.” 

“Nothing is going to change. We will just be in a new city.” He says. 

“I’m not going, Louis. I’m not moving our kids to America. They need their family around them. We can’t take them from everyone. They have a good school here. Friends and stuff. The educational system in America is shit compared to ours.” 

“Something's gotta give, harry.” He says. 

“Yea. You. Can’t you just apply to some company here? Or closer? Stay in Europe. I don’t want to go so far. I want to stay with my family.” 

“I don’t want to be with a company over here. I want to be with that one.”

“Football in America is a joke, Louis. You’ve said so yourself. Why go represent people for them?” 

“Because. That’s what I want to do and it pays more. You love LA. You enjoyed it when we went last time.” 

“I don’t want to raise our kids there.” I say. 

He watches me. 

“They’re not going to fit in over there in school. They will be the odd ones out. You know how shy they are. How sensitive. I would never forgive myself if they were singled out by other kids. They’d be so upset.” I say. “Doesn’t help that they have two dads.”

“Babe that doesn’t bother them. They’re very proud of their dads. You know that.”

“Yea because kids here grew up with them. They know. New kids won’t and I’m sure that’s not as common in a private school there. I want them to have a good education.”

“They will have a good education. They could be home schooled.”

“No. Absolutely not. We aren’t going to seclude them either. Louis it’s just not the right time. Maybe when they get older. Out of school. It’s not right.” 

“It is right.” He says. “This is a great financial move for us, harry.” 

“I don’t care about the money, Louis! I care about our family. Why don’t you understand that. I said I’m not going and that’s final. Are you listening when I say that? Bella and I aren’t going and I’m not letting you pull Joseph from school either.”

“You can’t tell me what to do with him.”

“I can! Who’s going to watch him when you’re working, Louis? You can’t send him off to people there. We don’t know anyone and he will get lonely! You can’t take him from Isabella.”

“I’m not walking away from my only child.”

“Oh so you’re not claiming Bella now?”

“You know what I mean, harry!” He says. 

“I’m his father too. I don’t care if he’s not my blood. I’m his legal father and I will fight you for him, I swear. You can’t take him from Bella and I. You can’t put that mental stress on a five year old. You’re taking him from everything he’s ever known and putting him in a place where he will know nothing. It’s completely different there and he will have no one else but you. That’s not fair to him. You will be working all the time. Summer is almost here. You can’t just put him in a day care all the time. He deserves better.” 

He shakes his head some and looks away. 

“You’re not putting our child through that. I won’t let you.” 

“I’m not leaving him behind.”

“But you’ll leave Bella and I behind?” I ask. 

He looks at me before standing. 

“I don’t know if I even got the job, harry. I’m not discussing this any further.”

“Why not? We need to talk about this!” 

“We have talked and I know where you stand. We’ll have to see if I even get the job and what they offer me. Until then, it’s pointless to talk.” 

“It’s not, Louis. Our children are involved. We need to decide right now what we are going to do when you get that call.” I say. 

“I’m not turning it down. So, you need to decide what you’re going to do.”

“You’re ridiculous. Why do you want this job more than your family right now? How is that fair? You married me, Louis. You made a promise that you’d stay with me forever. We have a child. Bella looks at you like a father. Why would you want to ruin all of that for a stupid fucking job?” I ask. 

“I love my career. You’ve known from day one that I love what I do. You’re my husband too. You’re suppose to support me with my goals.”

“You’re not being logical, Louis. I can’t support you when you’re only thinking about yourself and not your family.” I say. 

“I am thinking about the family. We can have a good life in LA.”

“Good life? We have a good life here!” I say. 

He rolls his eyes and walks to the kitchen. I follow him. 

“Why do you want to give this all up?” I ask. 

“Please just leave me alone right now.”

“No. Why, Louis? Do you not love me anymore? Do you not love this family? Is that why you’re ok with it falling apart?” I ask. 

He quickly looks at me. 

“You’re being ridiculous. Of course I love you and this family. Don’t ever think I don’t.”

“Can you blame me? I can’t help but question it when you don’t care about how I feel.”

“I care.”

“You don’t. If you did, you would have never even went to the interview.”

“If you cared about me, you would have encouraged me to go.”

“Stop flipping it on me! Take responsibility here. If you end up going, Louis, you’ll be the reason this family splits. That won’t be on me. So man the fuck up and take ownership of this. It has nothing to do with me. It’s all you!” I say. 

He shakes his head. 

“You’re pissing me off.” He says. 

“You’re making me question our marriage.” I say. 

“Harry.” 

I just shake my head and turn away. I go upstairs and spend the rest of the afternoon there. He doesn’t bother me at all. He gets the kids from school and they both come running into the room when they get here. 

“Hi daddy. How are you feeling?” Bella asks. 

“I’m good. Feeling better.” I say. 

She smiles. 

“I’m hungry.” Joseph says. 

I nod and lean up. 

“Let’s go see what we can make for dinner yea?” I ask. 

She smiles and nods. They follow me downstairs and into the kitchen. I see Louis outback on the phone and my stomach turns. I stop and watch him. He has a big smile on his face. He’s nodding as he listens. He hangs up after a bit and punches the air. He turns and sees us watching. He hurries in and comes to me. He kisses me hard but I don’t kiss him back. He grabs Joseph and lifts him before spinning him around. Joseph giggles. 

“I got the job.” He says as he sets Joseph down. “Baby the money is so good. More than I expected. 7 digits. 7 fucking digits a year!” 

I just stare. He gets his phone out and starts typing. 

“We have to go start looking at places. We can get such a nice place. Afford the best school.” He says. 

“I’m not going.” I say. 

“Don’t be insane. This is incredible. I’m going to book our flights now. Maybe Lottie will watch the kids.”

“I’m not going.” I say again. 

“We’re leaving first thing in the morning.” 

I grab his phone and throw it behind me. He looks at me in shock. 

“I said I’m not going.” I say. 

“Harry. You can’t not go. They offered over a million American dollars. I couldn’t turn that down. I accepted it already.” 

“Well tell them no. You changed your mind.” I say. 

“No! I’m not turning that money down. Baby, you don’t have to work. Or-or if you want to, I can rent you a studio. You can do lessons like you’ve wanted. We can get such a nice place. Great schools. The best everything.” 

“No! I’m not leaving, Louis. We aren’t leaving!” I say. 

He gives me a confused look. 

“I’m not changing my mind. I’ve said this a hundred times. I’m not going. So you either turn it down or we can call it quits right now.” I say. 

“Harry.”

“I’m not fucking around, Louis. The decision is up to you.”

“I can’t turn this down, harry.” 

“Then that’s that.” I say before walking away. 

“Harry stop!” Louis says. 

I feel my tears coming. I turn around and look at him. 

“I’m not doing this right now, Louis. I’m not doing this in front of them. This is why I said we should have talked earlier. I’m not discussing it. You’ve made up your mind. You’ve chosen the job and that’s clear. So fuck off and have a great life.” I say before going up stairs. 

I slam the door closed and crawl back into bed. I let my tears fall as I feel my heart break. I never thought something like this would happen. I thought Louis and I would always be together. The door opens. 

“Harry please.” Louis says. 

“No, Louis. I’m done. I’m done talking. Please.” I cry lightly. 

“Baby please.”

I sit up. 

“Stop! Don’t call me that!” I say. 

He just watches me. 

“You’re suppose to love me always. You’re suppose to always be with me. But you won’t be. You’re leaving and walking out on your family. How could you do something like that? You always talk about how much it fucked You up when your dad left. Well now you’re doing the same thing! You’re choosing something else over your family.” I say. 

He doesn’t respond. 

“So take your stupid fucking ring and get out of my face. I never thought it’d end like this but it did. You broke my fucking heart and I never want to see you again.” 

I take my wedding ring off and throw it at him. He looks really offended when I do. 

“Har-“

“Just leave me alone. Please.” I say. 

“So this is it?” He asks quietly. “After all we’ve been through, this is it?”

“Yea. and you’re to blame. Please. Get out.” I say. 

I lay down and just cry. I hear the door close after a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this part. Things are getting intennnsssseeee. Comment and let me know your thoughts. Thank you for reading (:


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I apologize again for the long wait. I’m super nervous about this chapter. Please enjoy. 
> 
> WARNING: sexual abuse/rape is mentioned. If you are sensitive to the topic, please don’t read the last 2/3 of this chapter! Thank you

It’s been one month since Louis left. We are done with school. After the night Louis got the offer, he packed a bag and left all of us. He only calls occasionally to speak to the kids. I always hand it to one of them when I see him call. I haven’t spoken to him. Only a few texts. When he first left, he would send me links to houses for sale to get my opinion but I never replied. He finally decided on one and it’s really nice. It wasn’t as big as what I thought he’d choose. He probably realized I wasn’t giving in so he got a smaller one. Living in this house without him has been hell. The kids miss him a lot and it really upset them when he left. I had to tell them he wasn’t coming back this time. That he would live in America and we’d live here. Jojo go really upset about it. He refused to even go to school. He’d just throw a fit and stay attached to me when I would try to bring him to his class. The school got suspicious and worried so I had to sit down with his teacher and my boss to explain what’s going on. Bella’s teacher joined too because she realized Bella had been very quiet lately. They understood completely when I told them what was happening and felt really bad. They suggested counseling for Joseph and Bella but it didn’t work out. They refused to speak to a stranger and I couldn’t force them. Nights at home have been lonely and sad. There hasn’t been giggling like usual from them. It’s quiet and sad. I hate it. Really hate it. We leave tomorrow to go visit Louis though. I’m not going to be a complete dick and keep the kids from him. I told him if he wanted to see them, he’d have to come home but he can’t. His new job is really time consuming and he can’t have any days off right now. However, they’re letting him work from home when we’re there. I originally wasn’t going to let Bella come. He chose to walk out of her life and he doesn’t deserve to be around her. But she also doesn’t deserve to lose him. That’s still her Boo and even though we aren’t speaking, she still loves him a lot and I can’t deny her from him. They’ve both been sleeping with me too. Bella has been having nightmares about the situation and Jojo just gets fussy every night because Boo isn’t here to tell him goodnight. It’s messing with them more than I thought. It’s killing me to not have Louis here, but seeing how the kids are handling it just makes things worse. My mum has come down to stay with us on the weekends too. I want to move out of the house but I don’t know how to tell Louis. It has too many memories here. I hate being here. My mum suggested finding a flat to stay in for a bit and just let Louis figure out the house. I would but Louis would see our bank account and get suspicious. We still have our account together. He insisted since I have the kids. We haven’t filed for a divorce yet. The topic hasn’t even been brought up. I’ve looked into it but I get too upset and back down. It’s just been a hard month. I’m not staying at louis’ place when we go. I got a hotel. It’s for the kids, not us. I don’t want to be around him. Lottie was originally going to take them but had to stay home. 

After one long flight the next day, we finally land in Los Angeles. The kids did pretty well during the flight. Joseph sat with me most of the time because he was a bit scared. It was nice though. We get off and start walking to the baggage claim. When we get there, I see Louis. Bella and Joseph spot him too and run after him. 

“Boo!” They both yell. 

They both crash into him with big hugs. I walk to the bag claim and watch for our bags. They come over and stand with me. I refuse to look at Louis. He leans over and kisses my cheek. I push him away some. 

“Don’t.” I say. 

He looks down. 

“I just wanted to say hi.” He says. 

“You don’t have to touch me.” I say. 

He just nods. I see our bags coming and grab them. Louis takes Joseph’s bag and I carry mine and Bella’s. I follow him to a car. He puts the bags in the back. I keep mine. 

“I’ll take a cab.” I say. 

“Harry. Don’t be annoying. I’ll take you.” He says and grabs my bag. “Get in the car.” 

I don’t want to argue. I don’t. So I listen to him. During the drive, Bella and Joseph talk nonstop to Louis about what all he’s missed. It’s honestly the most they’ve smiled in a long time. They’re even laughing and giggling. It hurts me inside more. I don’t speak any. When we pull up to the hotel, I turn to face them. 

“You all will be good for Boo right?” I ask. 

“You aren’t staying with us?” Bella asks. 

“No, love.” 

“But I want you with us, daddy.” Joseph says. 

“I’ll see you some but I have other things to take care of.” I lie. 

They both frown. I lean back and give each of them a kiss. 

“Love you all. Please be good.” 

I get out and get my bag before going in. That’s where the longest week of my life begins. 

————

After the fourth day, I’m getting really bored in this stupid hotel room. I’ve just been eating and going to the pool but now I’m bored. I only went out and explored the first two days but didn’t really know what to do. I decided to go out to dinner tonight and it was fun but I just don’t want to go back yet. I walk down the road as I look at the different bars. I pick a random one and go in. I’m not going to drink but social interaction doesn’t sound too bad. I go order a soda and sit at the bar. The music is loud and there’s a lot of people. I sip at my drink as I watch. It’s still better than being home. I check my phone to see if anyone has tried contacting me. No one. Of course. I don’t know what I was expecting. I feel a hand on my thigh as someone sits beside me. 

“What is a beautiful guy like you doing here alone?” A girl asks. 

I look to my right and see a really pretty girl. She’s got brown hair and her outfit is barely keeping her covered. Her face is coated in makeup but she’s still fucking gorgeous. I shrug. 

“Didn’t want to sit alone in my hotel room.” I say. 

“Holy fuck. That’s so hot.” She says. 

“What?” 

“Your voice.” She says. 

“Oh.” I say and laugh some. 

“Visiting in town?” She asks. 

“Yep. Kids are here to see my now ex, I suppose.” I say. 

“Oh. So you’re single.”

I shrug and look at my glass. 

“Haven’t filed for divorce but we aren’t together so.” I say. 

“Hm. Sounds like a win for me. What are you drinking?” 

“Just a coke.” I say. 

“What? Oh come on. Have a drink with me.” She says. 

“I don’t really drink. I’ve been sober for over 10 years.” I say. 

“Well congrats. I could never. How about another coke?” She asks. 

I look down at my nearly empty one and shrug. 

“Sure.” I say. 

She orders me another one along with a drink for herself. I check my phone again but nothing. 

“Those your kids?” She asks as she points to my phone. 

I nod and show her. 

“Yep. Bella and Joseph.” I say. 

“So cute. How old?” 

“Bella is 11, Joseph is 5.” I say. 

“How precious. Lucky woman. You gave her beautiful kids.” She says.

I want to correct her but decide against it. I put my phone away. 

“So you come to a bar, you don’t drink, and just sit alone.” She says. 

“Yea. I didn’t want to go back and just sit at my hotel.” I say. 

“So you wanted to go out and find someone to bring back?” She asks. 

I laugh some. 

“No. Not necessarily. Just wanted to get out for a bit.” I say. 

“Well maybe I can help keep you entertained.” She says. 

I just smile and nod. We sit there talking for a really long time. It’s actually really fun and she’s not too bad. We laugh a lot and it’s a nice change from sitting alone being sad. She’s not bad to look at either so that’s a bonus. She is currently in law school getting her masters she said which shocked me. I would have never guessed. I just got back from using the toilet and sip at my drink. I give it a weird look. 

“What?” She asks. 

“Nothing. Ice must be melting and making it taste weird.” I say and push it away. 

“Want another?” She asks. 

I shake my head. She orders herself another drink as we keep talking. I start feeling weird though. I grab at my head some when I feel like the room is spinning. 

“Woah. Are you ok?” She asks. 

“Yea. Just got Uhm- just a head ache.” I say. 

“You sure?” 

I nod. I rest my head on my hand. What’s happening? What’s wrong with me? Did I eat something bad tonight? I look over at her and she’s giving me a weird look. 

“Maybe you should go back to your hotel. You look sick.” She says. 

I nod some and pull my wallet out. I pay the tab and tip the guy before standing. I wobble some. She grabs my arm. 

“Here. I’ll help you. I need to go anyways.” 

I just nod because I don’t know if I can walk properly. She wraps my arm around her and I hold on tightly. She holds onto me as we walk. I lead us back to my hotel and it’s all getting fuzzy. Someone checks on us as we walk in but she tells them I drank too much tonight and that I’ll be ok. I want to tell them I didn’t drink at all but I can’t. When we get to the room, she lays me on the bed. She helps take my shoes off and the room is spinning. My eyes close but I feel a weight on me. I look up and see her straddling me. I want to tell her to get off but I can’t. I can’t move at all. It all happens quickly. My clothes are off and so are hers. I try to stop her from touching me but my hands feel like noodles. I try to stop myself from getting turned on but I don’t have control. It doesn’t feel good. I don’t feel anything. My whole body is numb. Even when she crawls back on me and sits down, I don’t feel anything. I just close my eyes because I can’t watch. I hear her moans but they’re muffled. Nothing is blocking my ears but it’s muffled. The room is spinning and I feel so out of it. She finishes soon and I feel a rush through my body as she finishes me but I just groan softly. It wasn’t a good feeling but I couldn’t stop the small noise. Everything starts going black and I let my eyes close again. 

———

I wake up and look around. I’m in my hotel but I still feel out of it. I look at the clock and it’s midnight. Ive only been out for a bit I think. I don’t know. I feel dizzy and I can’t hardly sit up. I look down and see that I’m naked. I see dry cum on my stomach and scratch marks on my chest. I begin to panic. It wasn’t a dream. No no no! What’s happening? What is going on? I try to sit up more but my body aches. I’m here alone and there’s no trace of another person being here. I see my pants on the bed and I grab them. I get my phone from it and dial Louis immediately. 

“Hello?” He answers after a few rings. 

Hearing his voice just makes me break. What have I done? 

“Lou.” I cry brokenly. 

“Harry what’s wrong?” He asks quickly.

“Where are you?” I ask. 

“At home. One of my mates are here. Kids are asleep.” He says. “What’s wrong?”

“I-i don’t know what happened, Lou. Oh god. I can’t hardly move. My head is fuzzy and I’m so dizzy.”

“Harry are you drunk?”

“I only drank coke. I didn’t drink! I promise lou. I wouldn’t drink.” I say. 

“Where are you?” 

“Hotel. I’m so scared. I did something bad, Louis. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to. I’m sorry, Lou.” I cry. 

“I’m on my way. Stay on the phone with me, baby. Tell me what happened.” 

“I-I don’t remember. It’s a blur.”

“Try to remember. Where did you go?”

“I went to dinner. Had steak. It was good. Then I didn’t want to go to the hotel so I walked. Found a bar and went in. Just ordered coke. That’s all. Then a girl came up. She was nice. Pretty and stuff. Started talking to me. I talked back. Told her about the kids and stuff. Why I’m here. We talked forever. Then I just started feeling weird, Louis. I don’t know what happened after that. Feels like a dream.” I say. 

“Harry did she drug you?” He asks.

“Oh god Louis. I don’t know. I don’t know!” I cry. “I told her no. She asked to come back to the hotel with me but I kept saying no. I said no!”

“Shhh. Calm down, love. Please. What room are you in? I’m almost there.”

“So fast?”

“I live only a few blocks.” He says. 

“912.” I say. 

“Ok, baby. I’m coming. Are you hurt?”

“I’m sore all over. Louis I’m sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing. Someone drugged you. Stop apologizing for that. I’m just glad you found your way back.” 

I want to tell him that I didn’t come back alone. I can’t though. 

“Hi. My husband is in room 912 but I want to surprise him. Can I have a key? I have my ID. It’s under Harry Styles.” He says. 

“Of course.” A lady says. 

It’s quiet for a bit.

“I’m sorry Lou.” I whisper as I cry. 

“Thank you.” He says to the lady. 

“I’m sorry.” I say again.

“Harry please.” He says. “I’m coming up. It’ll be ok.”

I just nod. 

“Alright. I’m on the lift. I’m hanging up. I’ll see you in a second.”

“Ok.” I mumble. 

The line goes dead. I set my phone down as my eyes close. I still feel so dizzy and sick. I just want to throw up from being so dizzy. I hear the door open and see Louis come in. He freezes when he looks at me. He scans my body. 

“Harry why are you...” he trails off. 

I just cover my face as I cry. I feel his finger rub at my stomach where the cum is. I look up at him. 

“Please harry. Please tell me you came back and just jerked off. Please.” He says. 

I curl up on my side as I cry harder. Now I feel so ashamed. I cheated on Louis. 

“God Louis I’m so sorry! I’m sorry!”

He just stands there. I cry loudly and I feel like I’m one of the kids throwing a fit but I can’t help it. 

“Did-did you come back alone?” 

“I don’t know! I don’t. It’s so fuzzy. I didn’t think it was real. She said she was just helping me back but then she was on me, Louis. I’m so sorry! I tried stopping but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move! I’m sorry. So sorry.”

He looks completely crushed. He sits in front of me. His hands are on me as he tries to comfort me. 

“Harry don’t you dare think about apologizing for something like this! That girl took advantage of you! Don’t fucking apologize for that!” He says. 

“I just wanted her to stop. I wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to be away from her. Lou..” 

He lays in front of me and pulls me to his chest. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t not be sorry. I cheated. I had sex with someone else when we’re still married. I know we aren’t together but I love you and I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to hurt you!”

“No, babe. Shhh.” He says before kissing my head. “You didn’t hurt me. This isn’t your fault. Not at all, love. Please don’t think it is.”

“I just want to go home. Please take me home.” 

“We need to get you to a police station or something. That girl did something very illegal and she’s not getting away with it.”

“No!” I yell as I sob. “No!”

“Harry.”

“No! I don’t want to go to a police. I want to go home. I want Bella. I want to go home. Please Louis. God please!” I beg him. 

“Harry please. She raped you! You can’t just let her get away with it.”

“I’m letting her. I don’t want to go to police. Please don’t make me. Please! I’m sorry but I can’t. I just want to go home. I don’t want to tell anyone else. Lou please.”

“Babe...” he says softly. 

He rubs my head as he tries to calm me. I just hold onto him. 

“I’m gonna be sick. I don’t feel good.” I cry lightly. 

“Let’s go to the toilet.” He says. 

I nod and lean up. He helps me to the bathroom and I still feel like a noodle. I kneel in front of the toilet and sit on my feet. I hold onto it and cough some as I feel the vomit coming. Louis rubs my back some. I gag and throw up into the toilet. I cough more which causes more to come out. He stays right by me as he pats my back and rubs my arm. 

“I’ve got you, love. It’s ok..” he says. 

I just cry as I lay my head down. He flushed and grabs a towel. He wets it and wipes my mouth. 

“Please don’t make me tell anyone. Please.” I beg quietly. 

He sits beside me and hugs me. 

“I’m not going to make you if you don’t want to. I think you should but I’m not going to make you.” I say. 

I nod and lean into him. He holds me close. 

“I’m sorry.” I whisper. 

“No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” He says. 

I just nod. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up yea?” He asks. 

I nod again. He turns the bath on and helps me in. I sit with my knees to my chest. I hug them close as my forehead rests on my knees. 

“Let me go get you some clothes and pack your stuff. You’re staying with me the rest of the trip.” He says. 

I nod some before he walks out. The bath fills and the warm water feels nice.

———

Louis’ POV:

My heart feels shattered as I pick his clothes up. I can’t believe someone would take advantage of harry. My Harry. Some bitch had the nerve to drug him and fuck him? I want him to go to the police because I want to know who it was. I’ll kill her if I see her though. She didn’t deserve harry. Fuck. I don’t even deserve him but she definitely doesn’t! The pain I feel right now is something I can’t explain. He was apologizing. Apologizing for something that isn’t his fault. He was worried about me and not about himself. How could he possibly think he was at fault and needed to apologize? That breaks my heart even more. He deserves the world and I can see that his is slowly crumbling. I gather his clothes and get him fresh ones. I go to the bathroom and he still hasn’t moved. I frown and set his clothes down. I reach up and grab the shower head before turning it on. 

“Let me help you, babe.” I say. 

He sniffs as he nods. I start running the water over him. He’s shaking. 

“Are you cold?” I ask. 

“No.” He says. 

I just want to cry. Seeing him like this is killing me. We can’t have two crying messes though. I’ve never seen him so destroyed over something. It’s not fair. Why did this have to happen to him? I want to take all his pain away but I can’t. I wipe a few tears that fall as I wash his hair. He’s just sitting as I wash him. When I’m done with his hair, I start washing his body with a cloth. I kiss his head. 

“Here. Wash yourself, Love.” I say. 

He leans back some. 

“Can’t..” he mumbles. 

I frown and wash his chest and stomach. I wash all the dried cum off of him. It’s hitting me harder as I do. I want to just break down and hold him tightly. I never want him out of my sight. I wash his thighs and legs. 

“Wash your bits and we’ll be done.” I say. 

He nods and takes the cloth. I grab the shower head again and start rinsing the soap off. I turn the water off when he’s done and help him up. I dry him and close the toilet seat so he can sit. He leans forward some and rests his head on me. I dry his skin. His arms reach up and hold me. He’s still shaking. 

“Now I’m cold.” He says quietly. 

“Let’s get dressed.” I say. 

I help him get his clothes on and he’s not much help but I get him dressed. I bring him back to the bed to put his sneakers on. I put him in comfortable clothes so he’d feel more relaxed and not as uncomfortable. I grab his face and make him look at me. This is the first time he’s looking into my eyes and it crushes me. I can tell how fucked up he is and it hurts so much to see. He looks so out of it. 

“Baby listen. The car is right out front. I need you to try your best to walk out of the hotel. We can’t cause suspicion. People will know something is wrong if I’m practically carrying you.” I say. “If people know something is wrong, they’ll call the police. You don’t want that remember?” 

He nods lightly. 

“Ill try.” He says. 

“Ok good. Come on.” 

He stands and wobbles some. I hold him. I grab his bag and make sure I have everything. His phone is in my pocket. We leave and he’s doing a good job of helping me. His arm is around my shoulder as we walk. I walk slow but it’s not far. When we get to the lobby, he just keeps his head down. I rub his back as he walks. I get him to my car and get him buckled. I put his bag in the back before I get in. I look at him and he looks like he could pass out. I reach over and pull the lever so his seat leans back. He smiles some and rubs my arm. I start driving us and he’s out within minutes. When I get home, I have to ask Calvin to help carry him in. He’s completely out of it and isn’t waking up. He’s still breathing though. 

“What happened to him?” Calvin asks as we struggle to get him upstairs. 

“He was drugged. Someone slipped something in his drink.” 

“Fuck..” he says. 

I nod and we get him to my bed. I pull his shoes off and cover him up. He moves so he’s curled up. I rub his side. 

“Thank you.” I say. 

“No problem. Are you sure he’s ok?”

“No. But we’ll just have to see in the morning.”

He nods. 

“If you need anything else, just give me a call. I’m only 5 minutes away.” 

I nod. 

“Thank you.”

I walk him out and lock the door behind him. I go back upstairs and kick my shoes off. I turn the light off and go to harry. I cover up and hold him close to me. I rub his head before kissing his cheek. 

“I love you so much.” I mumble.

He doesn’t reply. I close my eyes as I hold him and force myself to get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Sometimes when things happen in your life, it’s good to write about it. Helps you heal. I didn’t write this without knowledge or for no reason. Healing process. Hope I didn’t offend anyone and I promise it’ll all make sense. Thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts if you’d like (:


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Thank you for all the feedback. Enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> WARNING: sexual abuse/rape is mentioned. If you are sensitive to the topic, please skip over the first 1/3 of the chapter.

When I wake up the next morning, I feel sick to my stomach. Not actually sick, but I remember what happened and I want to just throw up. I feel an arm tightly around me. I look down and see it’s Louis’. I reach down and trace his wrist tattoos with my finger. Last night runs through my head and I take a deep breath as I try to hold in my tears. I feel him move some and I turn so I’m laying on my back. I look over at his sleeping face. His eyes open and he gives me a sad smile. I just watch him. He moves his arm back and scoots away. 

“Sorry. Habit.” He says as his puts some space between us. 

I look away and down some. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks. 

I shrug. 

“Normal? Still dizzy?” 

I shake my head. 

“I’m fine.” I say. 

He nods some. I take another shaky breath and reach up to stop my tears from falling. I pinch between my eyes. 

"Harry." He says quietly. 

He scoots closer and rubs my chest. 

"Louis I-" I stop. 

I don't know what to say. 

"It's ok. Wanna talk? What are you thinking? Talk to me." He says. 

"I just. I don't know. I'm remembering more now and I don't know." I say. 

"I'm here to listen." He says. 

"I just don't understand. How could someone do that? What did I do to deserve that? I don't understand." I say. 

My tears start falling and I can't stop them. 

"You didn't deserve that. No one does. I don't know how someone could do that. I'm sorry.." 

I just shake my head. 

"You remember what she did to you?" He asks. 

I nod. 

"Yea." I whisper. 

"Can you tell me?" 

I look away. 

"You don't have to." 

I look over at him. He looks really upset and concerned. I look down and nod. 

"She brought me to the hotel. Told someone I drank too much because I was stumbling. She got me on the bed and I thought we should leave but she didn't. She took my clothes off. Then hers. I couldn't move, Lou. I tried but I couldn't. She started touching me. I couldn't control my body. I couldn't." 

"Did you- were you turned on?" He asks. 

"No. well I didn't feel anything. I felt numb but apparently my dick had a mind of its own. I didn't know I was hard until she got on top of me. She...you know.." I say. 

He nods some and rubs at my cheek. 

"I couldn't feel anything. It didn't feel good. I literally felt nothing. Just numb. I kept my eyes closed. All I could hear was her moans. Felt like I was covering my ears but I wasn't. She finished and I thought she was done but she wanted to finish me. I don't know but I think she sucked me off. I don't know. I couldn't look down and see. When I finished, I felt a weird feeling through my body. Wasn't good. Wasn't bad. Just a weird rush. Then it went black. That's all I remember until I woke up. I remember only bits. I don't think she didn't anything else but that. I don't know. She scratched me. I saw it." 

"Love.." he says. 

"I just wanted it to be over. I wanted her to get away. I just wanted you, Lou. I wanted you to come save me and tell me it would be ok." I say quietly. 

He moves closer. If that's possible. He kisses my face as he hugs me. 

"I just wanted to go home." 

"I'm sorry harry. I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back and stop her. I wish I could take your pain away." He says. 

I don't reply. 

"Do you still not want to go to the police?"

"I can't, Lou. I just want to forget about it. Please. Don't make me go. I don't want to talk about it anymore. We can't change anything. It happened and nothing will be solved. It happened and I have to live my whole life with this now.." I say. 

He shakes his head some and hides his face in my neck. 

"I'm so sorry.." he says. 

I don't respond again. I calm down after a bit. He keeps whispering reassuring things to me and kissing my face and neck. Just trying to comfort me. I eventually stop crying and he dries my face. 

"Stay here the rest of the trip. Please." He says. 

I nod some. He rubs my face. 

"Boo!" I hear Joseph yell. 

"Yes love?" He yells back. 

"Where are you?" 

"In my room." 

Louis looks at me. 

"Everything will be ok. I'm never letting someone hurt you like that again. I promise." He says. 

I nod some. He leans down and gives me a small kiss. I can't stop myself from kissing him back. I've missed him so much. Just this. Him. I hear the door open and Joseph looks in. He gasps. 

"Daddy!" 

He hurries to the bed and louis moves away. I lift him and he hugs me. His head lays on my chest. 

"I missed you!" He says. 

"I missed you too." 

He leans up so he's sitting on my stomach. 

"Boo said he's taking us to Disney today. Are you coming too?" He asks. 

"I don't know."

"Please daddy. I want you to." He says. 

I look at louis. 

"You don't have to." He says. 

"I don't want to be alone." I say. 

"We don't have to go. We can stay home today instead." He says. 

"But boo...you promised." Joseph whines. 

"No it's fine. I'll go. I shouldn't be laying in bed pouting. I can't change the past." I say softly. 

"Harry are you sure? You don't have to."

"I want to spend the day with you all. That's what I need right now. I need to forget about everything." 

"Ok.." he says. 

Joseph claps. 

"Yay! I'll go get sissy." 

I set him down and he runs out. 

"Are you sure?" He asks. 

I nod and pull him close to me. I kiss him gently. 

"Yes." I say. 

He nods and kisses me again. I don't let the kiss go for too long. The last thing I want is to do anything with him. I don't want it to go there. I just want to kiss him. I shouldn't be at all but I feel emotional and vulnerable right now. I just need him. He rubs my cheek. 

"We'll have fun. Just the four of us." 

I nod some. 

\-------

The kids are really excited when we get to Disneyland. I’ve tried putting on a brave face today. It’s really hard but seeing how happy they are, it’s helping. When we get into the park, Louis insists on buying them mickey ears. I’ve never been to Disney before but he has several times. He said it’s a must. He ends up getting all of us some and makes me wear mine. Bella and Joseph giggle when we put them on. I just smile. They’re really cute in theirs too. 

“We’re taking loads of pictures today. I don’t care. We’re all too cute.” Louis says. 

I nod with a smile. Louis guides us through the park pretty well. He hasn’t been in awhile but says he still remembers. I’m surprised Joseph wanted to do half of the rides we got on. I thought he’d be scared. He wasn’t though. Some rides he wasn’t tall enough to ride so I took him to other rides he liked while Bella and Louis rode the bigger ones. He loves the dumbo ride. He giggles so hard on it and makes funny faces at me every time he comes by me. I can’t help but smile as I watch him. When he gets off the ride, he runs to me. 

“That was so fun! Again!” He says. 

“Let’s go find Boo and sissy.” I say. 

He nods. I walk to the ride they are on and we only wait a bit until they come out. Bella jumps some as she talks to Louis. They spot us and come over. 

“Daddy! That was a big ride. Come ride it with me.” She says. 

“I don’t like big rides.” I say. 

Which is true. I hate rollercoasters. I’ve always been a bit scared. 

“He’s a baby. Scared of them.” Louis says. 

“Hey..” I say. 

He laughs some. 

“Wanna go get some lunch?” He asks. 

I nod. Joseph lays his head on my shoulder. 

“What do you all want?” 

“Corn dogs!” Bella says. 

“I know the perfect place!” Louis says. 

He leads us. As we walk, Bella grabs Louis’ hand and mine. She pulls us closer and makes us hold hands. we both look at her and she giggles before going to the other side of Louis to hold his hand. I look at mine and Louis’ hands. I notice he’s still wearing his wedding ring and my stomach flips. I look at him and he smiles lightly. I just look back in front as we walk. Bella is a sneaky little thing.. when we order our food, Joseph and I find a table while Bella and Louis wait. He sits beside me and sips at his drink. 

“You having fun baby?” I ask. 

He smiles and nods. 

“Yes. I never want to leave. Can we stay here forever?” He asks. 

I laugh. 

“No. We have to go home eventually.” 

“No we don’t.” He says. 

I just rub his head. Isabella and Louis come over and set the trays down. I pass the food out and we start eating. 

“Can we ride on the big wheel next?” Bella asks. 

I nod. 

“Yea. That sounds good.”

“Not too high for you, baby?” Louis asks me. 

“Fuck off.” I mumble. 

“Yea. Fuck off.” Jojo says. 

I gasp and smack his mouth. Not too hard. I actually didn’t mean to hit him but it was just a reflex. His eyes widen and he covers his mouth. 

“Joseph! Don’t say that. You know better!” I say. 

“Sorry..” he mumbles. 

“I don’t ever wanna hear that out of your mouth again, understand?” 

He nods. 

“Now finish eating.” I say. 

“If he cant say it, why do you?” Bella asks. 

I look at her. 

“Watch it.” I say. 

She looks down some. Louis starts laughing. I glare at him. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just funny.” He says. 

Joseph starts giggling. I smile and shake my head. 

“You’re all going to be put to bed early if you don’t cut it out.” I say. 

“After today’s day, I need an early night.” Louis says. 

We finish eating and Isabella drags us to the big wheel. As we wait in line, Joseph starts grabbing at himself. 

“I have to potty.” He says. 

“We’re almost to the ride. Can you hold it?” I ask. 

He whines some and shakes his head. 

“No. Can’t. I’m gonna wee myself!” He says. 

I sigh and grab him. 

“I’ll be back. Just get on without us if we aren’t back.” I say. 

I find the closest bathroom and bring him into a stall. 

“Can you stand and wee for me? I don’t want you sitting on the toilet. It’s gross.” I say. 

He nods some and pulls his shorts down. He holds his shirt up as he stands in front of the toilet. He starts peeing. 

“Good job. My big boy.” I say and rub his head. 

“I don’t want to touch it, daddy. Do I have to?” 

I laugh. 

“No. You’re fine. Look. You’re doing it.” I say. 

He smiles and giggles but it makes him pee on the seat some. 

“Oops.” He says. 

I grab toilet paper. When he finishes, I clean the seat. He pulls his pants up. I do my business too before bringing him out to the sink. We wash our hands before I carry him back. They haven’t moved very far and the people let us back in front. Joseph reaches for Louis. 

“Boo! I weed all by myself like a big boy. I stood and only peed on the seat once!” He says excitedly. 

My eyes widen some as people around laugh some. 

“Daddy cleaned it though.” He says. 

“Good job, Love. I’m so proud of you.” Louis says before kissing his cheek. 

“Then daddy peed by himself too. He didn’t pee on the seat though. He’s better at it than me.” He says. 

I shake my head as I listen to him. 

“Why don’t we keep potty talk to a whisper. Other people can hear you.” I say to him. 

He covers his mouth. 

“Sorry.” He whispers. 

I smile and kiss his cheek. It’s soon our turn and we get on the ride. It fits all of us. 

“It’s goofy, daddy.” Bella points out as we get on. 

I look at the side of the cart thing and see his face. 

“It is. You love goofy.” I say. 

She nods. We sit down and they shut the door. Bella sits beside me as Joseph sits in louis’ lap across from us. The ride starts soon and they both watch out the sides and point out different things. I watch Louis as we move. I don’t dare look out because I’m terrified of heights. Louis looks at me and smiles. I just watch him. He nudges my foot with his. 

“It’ll be over soon.” He says. 

I just look down at my lap. He rubs my leg with his foot. When the ride is over, they both beg to do it again but Louis thankfully distracts them and points out another ride. I silently thank him as we start walking to the next ride. 

When the end of the day comes, we are waiting for the light show that happens every night. We have a great spot on a bench nearby. Louis is beside me and Joseph is on his lap again. Bella is sitting on the other side of me. They both eat the cotton candy we got them. They were good today so after dinner, we let them have some. I look over at Louis. He’s rocking Joseph some as he watches the people around him. I move my arm so it’s around him. He looks at me and I smile. 

“Today was fun. Thank you. I needed this.” I say. 

“I had fun too. Don’t thank me. It was a nice family day.” He says. 

I nod lightly. I miss this. The family being together. It makes me hate thinking about us leaving soon. I’m not moving here though. Im still not changing my mind. I enjoyed today. The kids had fun and so did Louis and I. I wish we could do more things like this but we can’t when Louis is here and we are in England. The show starts and we look at the lights. 

“Woah! Daddy look!” Bella says. 

“I see, baby. Pretty.” I say. 

I look at Joseph but he’s fallen asleep. He is still holding his cotton candy and has blue all over his mouth. I grab it from him before I smile and shake my head. Crazy boy. Missing the show. Louis laughs. 

“He’s missing the best part.” Louis says. 

“I’m sure Bella will fill him in on it.” I say. 

He smiles and nods. 

“Should we get a hotel over near here for the night or do you want to just go home?” He asks. 

“Up to you. I can drive if you’re too tired.” I say. 

He shakes his head. 

“I’m not. I was just making sure you were fine.” He says. 

“Yea. I’m fine.” I say. 

I look back at the lights. 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it? I’ve always wanted to see this.” I say. 

“It is. It’s still not as beautiful as you though.” He says. 

I look back at him. 

“Oh hush.” I say. 

He smiles and gives me a small kiss before laying his head on my shoulder. I rub his arm as my arm still lays around him. I feel Bella rest her head on my arm too as she watches. Before it’s over, Bella is now asleep and I’m getting tired too. 

“Ready to go?” I ask Louis quietly before kissing his head. 

He nods some before moving away. He stands and turns Joseph around so he can hold him better. I pick Bella up and make sure we have everything. We start leaving. 

“We’ll beat the crowd out too.” I say. 

“True.” He says. 

He reaches over and holds onto my arm as he walk. I smile down at him. Joseph sleeps peacefully against him and it’s all too cute. Fuck. I just love my family so much. Today was perfect. 

We get home and get them into bed. I’m exhausted when I go lay in bed. Louis lays beside me and sighs. 

“Today was so long.” I say. 

“But fun.” He says. 

I nod. 

“Yes. They had a lot of fun.” 

“Did you?” He asks. 

“Of course. I got to spend the day with my two kids and you. what more could I ask for?” I ask. 

He smiles and cuddles into my side. He kisses my neck. 

“Tomorrow is our last day.” I say. 

“You should stay longer.” He says. 

“We need to get back home.” I say. 

“But why? It’s summer now. Stay until they go back to school.” He says. 

“We can’t. They still have things to do. Lessons and stuff. I don’t want them to be away from everyone for that long.” I say. 

“But I don’t want you all away from me.” He says. 

“Then come visit soon.” I say. 

He frowns some. 

“You’re really not going to move here are you?” He asks quietly. 

“No. And after last night, I can’t wait to go home and never see this place again.” He says. 

“But what about when I want to see the kids? Or you?” 

“We can meet somewhere else or you can come back home.” I say. 

He doesn’t respond. 

“Let’s just get some sleep.” I say. 

He nods. 

“Tomorrow I have off too. You know. It’s still the weekend. We should go to the beach.” He says. 

I nod some. 

“If that’s what you want to do.” I say. 

“Yea. I haven’t been yet.”

“Ok. I’m sure Bella and Jojo will enjoy that.” I say. 

“Yea. They asked to go the other day.” He says. 

I nod. 

“You’ll come too?”

“If you want me to.” I say. 

“Of course.” He says. 

“Ok but I’m tired.” I say. 

He cuddles closer and kisses my cheek. 

“I love you.” He says. 

“Love you too.” 

It falls quiet and I let myself fall asleep. Today was too perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Hope you’re enjoying this so far. Any comments would be appreciated. I love seeing what you all think (:


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Hope you all are still liking this story. It doesn’t have as many active readers as the first part, but that’s ok. I’m forcing myself to have motivation to keep writing for those of you still reading. I appreciate all of you (: enjoy .xx

Our last day was spent at the beach and it was a lot of fun. Bella and Joseph enjoyed playing in the sand and water. I had fun too. I had to wear a shirt the whole time because I didn’t want others to see the scratches on my chest. I’m embarrassed and just want them gone already. We played with the football and built sand castles. It was fun. Had some food. After we got home, we all cleaned up and went to dinner. Our flight is early so we wanted an early night again. The kids went right to bed without a fuss which was a surprise. Louis and I lay in bed too. 

“You all leave tomorrow.” He says. 

“I know.” I say. 

He comes close. 

“I’m gonna miss you.” He mumbles before kissing my neck.

“I’ll miss you too, Lou. You know you can always come back with us.” I say. 

He shakes his head. 

“Or you can always stay.” 

“I guess we will just never agree to this.” I say. 

He pouts some. I lean up and bite his bottom lip. He smiles. 

“No pouting.” 

“Can’t help it.” He says. 

I don’t reply. I just watch him. 

“Harry what are we doing?” He asks. 

I look around. 

“Laying in bed.” I say. 

“No, idiot. I mean us. Like are we together still or what?” He asks. 

“I mean. Legally, yes. We are still married.” 

“Ok I know that but to you. What do you think?”

“We live on opposite sides of the world.” I say. 

“Yea..” he says softly. 

“How can we call that a relationship when we don’t even live on the same continent?” I ask. 

I looks down some. 

“I want to be with you still though.” He says. 

“And I want to be with you but I’m not doing long distance. That’s not fair to either of us.” I say. 

“So what? We’re just going to get divorced? Is that what you want?” He asks. 

“No. What I want is for us to be a family.” I say. 

“We aren’t even on the same page with the living arrangement though.” He says. 

“Yea well it’s something we’re working on.” I say. 

“I don’t want to call it quits harry. I love you so much. You’re my husband. My fucking husband and the father of my child. I don’t want to not be yours. We will figure everything else out but please. Let’s work on us first. I want to fix things between us.” He says. 

“Lou I don’t know. It’s going to be hard. You’re like 8 hours behind us. We will only be awake the same time for just a few hours.” I say. 

“We can try. I’m not giving up on us.” He says. 

I sigh and look away. 

“Please. I will try my hardest. I promise.” He says. 

“I don’t know, Lou.”

“Doesn’t hurts to try.” 

I look at him again. He kisses me gently. 

“Don’t give up on us yet. We’ve been through so much. we can figure all of this out.” He says. 

“I don’t want to get hurt.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

“You’ve said that before.” I say. 

“I promise to not hurt you again.” He says. 

I know he’s lying. I’m going to get hurt but it’s Louis. I married this idiot and I’m so in love with him. 

“I’ll try.” I say. 

He smiles and kisses me hard. 

“Thank god. I love you so much.” He says. 

“I love you too. So so much.” I say. 

“Now can you just fuck me? I’ve missed you so much.” He says. 

I laugh some. 

“That’s all I’m good for isn’t it? That’s the only reason you want me to stay with you.”

“Caught me.” He says. 

I push him away some.

“Fine. Then have fun jerking off by yourself.”

“No baby. I’m kidding. You know damn well I love you more than just for that. You know that.” He says. 

I smile. 

“You do?” I ask 

“Absolutely. I married you remember?”

“Yea...” I say quietly. “You’re my husband.” 

“I am. Got the last name and ring to prove it.” He says and shows me his ring. 

I smile and grab his hand. I kiss it gently. 

“I’m kidding though. I understand if you don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to push you especially after what happened a few nights ago. If you aren’t comfortable then I understand.” 

“Oh shut up, Lou. I’m never uncomfortable with you.” I say. 

He smiles. 

“Yea?”

I nod and kiss him. 

“Yea.”

“You’re gonna fuck me?” 

I nod some. 

“Mhm. We have a lot of sex to make up for. I’ve been away from you for over a month.” 

He groans some. 

“We’ve got all night.” He says quietly. 

“Buckle up because I plan on using you more than once.” I say. 

He smiles. 

“Fuck. Just get my clothes off already.”

I laugh some and kiss him again.

————

As said, Louis and I did spend most of the night absorbed in each other. We had multiple rounds. We’d rest between each and just talk until we were ready for another go. I even let him have one go at topping. I’m not a huge fan but I know how much he loves it. He loves being bottom too but the occasional switch really gets him going. We were both so sensitive at that point that it didn’t last very long anyways. It was still good though. We only slept for a bit before I had to get up and get ready. He showered with me and I’m getting dressed now. I’m sitting on the bed in my boxers pulling my socks on. 

“Babe.” He says as he sits beside me. 

I look over at him. He holds something up and I look at his hand. I see him holding my ring. I stop and look at his face. 

“I want you to keep it. You don’t have to wear it but it’s yours.” He says.

I smile some and reach my left hand to him. He smiles too and pushes the ring onto my finger. I kiss him. 

“I love you. We’ll work something out.” I say. 

He nods. I finish getting ready and wake the kids up. The drive to the airport sucks. I don’t want to say goodbye but I have to. We have a life back in England, not here. When we get to the airport, Louis gets out with us. He gives Joseph and Bella big hugs and holds them close for a bit. He puts them down and comes to me. He hugs me to him and I wrap my arms around him. 

“Please come back soon.” He says. 

“We’ll see.” I say. 

“I love you.” He says. 

“I love you too.” 

I grab his face and kiss him. 

“Ew.” Bella says. 

I smile some and move back so I can see him. 

“I’ll call you when we land.” 

He nods and kisses me again. I move back and grab the bags. Joseph hugs his leg tightly. 

“I love you boo. Come home soon.” He says. 

“I will baby. It won’t be long.” He lies. 

Joseph nods and moves away. Bella grabs his hand and we go inside, leaving Louis behind. 

————

Going home was harder than I thought it’d be. It’s lonely nights again without Louis. Bella and Jojo are back to being quiet again. I try to take them out during the day but they never want to do anything. Louis called them before bed time though and they’ve been on FaceTime with him for almost an hour. I walk downstairs and see Joseph asleep on the couch but Bella is talking to Louis. He says something that makes her giggle. 

“Alright, Love. It’s bedtime.” I say to her. 

“But daddy. We’re having fun.” She says. 

“You can talk another time.” 

“Ok...” 

“Joseph knocked out 20 minutes ago.” Louis says. 

“Poor thing.” I say. 

I pick him up and grab the laptop too. 

“Come on.” I say to Bella. 

Louis smiles as he watches me. I bring Joseph to his bed and cover him up before kissing him good night. I bring Bella to her room next and she crawls into bed. 

“Goodnight boo. I love you.” She says. 

“Love you too.” He says. 

I give her a kiss. 

“Love you Daddy.” 

“Love you too. Sleep well.” I say. 

She nods and curls up. I leave and turn her light off. I go to my room and sit on the bed. I set the computer in front of me. He smiles more. 

“Hi.” He says. 

“Hi.” I say. 

“I miss you.” 

“I miss you too.” I say. 

He just smiles. 

“I want to talk to you about something.” I say. 

“Ok.”

“I think I want to start looking for a new place.” I say. 

“What?” He asks. 

“I don’t want to stay here anymore. I want somewhere smaller. Maybe a small flat or something.” 

“That’s our home harry. You can’t leave.” He says. 

“exactly. Our home. Ours. You’re not here. It’s not the same. The kids are always down and so am I. It’s not home without you here.” I say. 

He looks down some.

“I was thinking that if you didn’t want to get rid of the house, we can let Lottie and tommy stay here. They want a new place and it’s plenty big. They’d love it.” I say. 

“Harry..” he says. 

“I can’t stay here anymore, Lou. It’s driving me insane.” 

“Have you been looking?” 

I nod some. 

“Just online and stuff. I found myself already starting to pack today. I just want out.” 

“Babe..I’m sorry. I don’t want to run you out of the house.”

“I think it’s time to move onto something new. We need a new place. If it’s just the three of us here, I want something smaller. Easier to take care of.” 

“Yea. Something temporary?” 

I shrug. 

“Or permanent.” I say. 

He frowns, but nods. 

“Ok. Whatever you want. You’ll let me know what you decide?” 

“Of course. Gemma and I were gonna start looking tomorrow.”

“Ok. Just update me and stuff.”

“I will. I’m tired though. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I say. 

“Ok. Goodnight, love. I love you.” He says. 

“Love you too.” I say and blow him a kiss. 

He smiles some and I hang up. I set the laptop aside. I’m glad he understands but I still would have went through with it even if he wasn’t ok with it. I get ready for bed and let myself fall asleep. Hopefully we’ll be out of here soon. 

————

Gemma and I have been looking at flats all day. None felt right until we got to the last one. It was perfect. Everything I want. It’s 3 rooms and 3 baths. Two stories and it’s actually a small duplex for rent, not a flat. So just a small house basically. I’m really excited. It was very homey feeling and not too expensive actually. I applied for the place right then and I should hear back by tonight. I’ve already hired movers to start packing us up tomorrow and they’ll hold our stuff until we get a place. I’m not taking everything. Lottie and Tommy did want to stay in the house so I’m only bring what we really need. I’m going to get new couches and dining table because ours are too big for the smaller place. Bella and Joseph stayed with Lottie today too and I just picked them up on the way home. 

“Daddy. Are we moving?” Joseph asks. 

“Just to a new house.” I say. 

“Is boo moving with us?” 

“No. Boo is staying in California.” I say. 

“Does he hate us now? Is that why he doesn’t want to stay with us?” Isabella asks as I pull into the driveway. 

I put the car in park and look back at her. 

“Absolutely not. Boo loves you all so much. He could never hate you all.”

“Do you hate boo?”

“No. I love him.” I say. 

“Then why don’t we live with him?” She asks. 

“It’s complicated. He’s in America. We can’t move there.” 

“I don’t want to move there can’t he just come back?” She asks. 

“I’ve tried asking. He’s working, love. To make sure we have money to support you.” He says. 

“Is boo ever coming back?” Joseph asks quietly. 

I look down some. 

“He’ll come visit but he will stay there for awhile.” I say.

He covers his face as he starts crying. 

“Hey..don’t cry.” I say. 

I get out and go to him. I unbuckle him and pick him up. He holds onto me tightly. 

“I miss boo. I want him to come home. Please daddy. Tell him to come home.” He cries. 

“I wish I could, baby. I’m sorry.” I say. 

He just cries more. I sigh and bring him in. Isabella follows and she’s frowning some. I sit on the sofa and she crawls beside me. She hugs my arm. 

“I want boo to come home too. I miss him a lot.” Isabella says. 

“Me too.” I say. 

“Why don’t we try to call him.” I say. 

They nod. I set Joseph down and grab my phone. I walk to the kitchen and call him. He doesn’t answer. I call again. 

“Hey. I’m in a meeting right now. Can I call you later?” 

“The kids are crying.” I say. 

“What? Why?”

“They miss you and they’re really upset. Can you just talk to them for a second?” 

“Babe I’m running this meeting.” He says. 

“They’re your kids Louis and they need you right now.” I say. 

He’s quiet for a bit. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll be right back. It’s important.” He says. 

I hear a door open and then close. 

“Ok. I only have a few minutes.” He says. 

“Ok. Just a second.”

I go to the living room and sit down. Joseph crawls back into my lap. I put the phone on speaker. 

“Ok. You’re on speaker.” I say. 

“Hi loves. How are you?” He asks. 

“Boo..” Joseph cries. 

“What’s wrong Jojo?” 

“I miss you. Come home. I miss you.”

“I can’t. I’m working right now.”

“When do you come home?” He asks. 

“Not for a bit, darling. I’m sorry. Daddy is there though and we can still video chat and call. It won’t be long until I can see you again.” 

“But when?” Bella asks. 

“I don’t know. I can’t leave here for awhile.” He says. 

Bella looks down and lays her head on my shoulder. 

“Daddy misses you too. Come home, boo. She says. 

“I know. I miss you all so much but I have work here. You know that.” He says. “Come on. Be a big girl and big boy. No more crying. I’ll see you soon ok?”

“No you won’t.” Bella says. 

He sighs some. 

“I have to go now. I’m sorry. I will try to FaceTime on my lunch if you’re not in bed ok?” 

“Ok.” I say to him. 

“I love you all so much ok?” He says. 

“Love you too.” They mumble. 

“Love you.” I say before hanging up. 

Joseph turns and hugs me as he starts crying more. I rub his back and kiss his head. 

“Why don’t we go take a bath and play with bubbles?” I ask. 

“Can I go too?” Bella asks. 

“Yes.” I say. 

I bring them upstairs and get the bath started. Bella crawls in and Joseph waits for me to put him in. He sits down and sniffs. I rub his cheek. 

“It’s ok, baby. Boo will be home before you know it.” I say, trying to comfort the crying boy. 

He doesn’t reply. As the bath fills, more bubbles appear. Bella starts playing with them and trying to get Joseph to laugh. She’s so good with him. It makes my chest tighten. She always tries to help make him stop crying when he does. It’s been a huge help. She tickles at his side and blows bubbles at him. He starts giggling some. I smile as I watch them. I hear my phone go off. I look and see it’s Louis. 

Lou:  
I’m sorry. 

Me:  
It’s ok. They’re fine now. Enjoying a bath. 

I take a picture of them playing and laughing before sending it to him. I send it to Gemma and my mum too so they can see. Louis replies. 

Lou:  
I miss them so much. I promise to get this figured out soon.

Me:  
Please don’t make promises you can’t keep. 

Lou:  
): 

I don’t reply. I watch them play and my mum and Gemma reply telling me how cute they are. Bella helps Joseph wash his hair and it’s really cute. She sings softly as she does. Joseph yawns some. 

“You tired baby?” I ask. 

He nods. 

“It’s not even dinner time yet.” I say. 

“I’m sleepy.” He says and rubs his eyes. 

“I’ll make some dinner after your bath and then put you to bed.”

He nods. Just then, my phone goes off. I don’t recognize the number but still answer. 

“Hello?” I say. 

“Hi. Is this Harry Styles?” 

“Yes it is.” I say. 

Bella and Joseph look at me. 

“I was calling in regards to the house you applied for today.” He says. 

“Oh. Hi. Yes.” I say and stand. 

I walk into my room but make sure I still can see them in the bath. 

“You got accepted and can come start paperwork tomorrow. You won’t be allowed to move in until Saturday because they’re redoing the kitchen appliances but the place is yours if you accept.”

“Yes. Absolutely. I just go to the house for paperwork?” I ask. 

“Yep. We can send someone over at 10.” He says. 

“Awesome. Can I bring my kids to show them?” 

“Of course. I’m sure they’d love to see their new home.” He says. 

I smile. 

“Thank you so much.” I say. 

“No problem. Have a good night.”

“You too. Bye.” 

I send a quick text to Gemma and my mum again telling them we got the house. It’s only for rent but that’s fine. I don’t want to buy anything without Louis. I go back to the bathroom. 

“Hey. So we go get to see our new house tomorrow.” I say. 

“New house? What’s wrong with this one?” Bella asks. 

“It’s too big for us, honey. I think we should get something smaller. We talked about this in the car.” I say. 

“I know.” She says. 

“I like our house, daddy.” Joseph says. 

“I do too but we need a different one. This one is too much to take care of without boo. It’s too big.” I say. 

“You said boo was coming back..” Joseph says as his face scrunches up some. 

He starts crying again. I sigh. 

“Jojo don’t cry. He is coming back. He’ll visit when he can. I know it’s hard to understand.” I say. 

“Are you and boo getting a decords?” Bella asks. 

“What?” I ask her. 

“A decords. My friend at school said her mummy and daddy got a decords because they didn’t love each other any more. Then her daddy moved out like Boo did.” 

“A divorce?” I ask. 

She nods. I sigh again. 

“Louis and I still love each other. We will always love each other. He works over in California and we live here. We are still married and we aren’t getting a divorce but we are tryin to work things out. What matters the most is that we love both of you very much and we want what’s best for you. Do you understand that?” I ask. 

She nods. 

“Good. Wash your hair while I get your brother changed.” I say. 

He stands and reaches for me. I lift him out and he hugs at my leg. 

“Jojo wait. You’re getting me all wet. Let me get you a towel.” I say. 

He doesn’t reply. He just cries. I grab a towel and wrap it around him. I pull his arms from me and blanket him in the towel. I lift him and he lays his head on my shoulder. 

“I miss boo.” He cries. 

“I know..” I say. 

I bring him to his room and grab clothes. I bring him back to my room and lay him on the bed. I set his clothes aside and start trying to dry him. He’s shaking hard as he cries. I bend down and kiss his face. 

“Hey. It’ll be ok. I promise.” I say. 

He nods and hugs my neck. 

“Let me get you dressed. You’re freezing.” I say and move his arms. 

I dry him more and move his towel away. I put his undies on him and he reaches for me. 

“You need some pajamas.” I say. 

He whines and grabs at my shirt. I sigh and lift him. He hugs me and lays his head on me. He sniffs more and hides his eyes in my neck. I go to the bathroom and Bella is wrapped in a towel. I smile. 

“Go get dressed. Meet us downstairs.” I say.

She nods and hurries out. I pull the drain out from the tub and go downstairs. Joseph refuses to let me put him down so I try to make the pasta with one arm. It’s not too bad until Bella is down here hanging on me too. She holds onto my waist and legs as I move and I keep stumbling over her. I set Jojo down. 

“Ok. Both of you go into the living room. You’re going to make me fall.” I say. 

They both whine and pout.

“Go. Dinner is almost ready.” I say. 

Joseph starts crying more as he walks out. He must be really tired because he’s being fussy. I finish dinner and make their plates. I yell for them and they sit down. 

“Jojo. Dry it up. It’s almost time for bed.” I say. 

He only whines more. We eat and I put him to bed as soon as he’s done. He only just throws a bigger fit when I try to leave him so I lay with him until he falls asleep. When he’s out, I go to my room and put comfortable clothes on. Mine were still damp from Joseph earlier. I change and go downstairs. Bella is sitting on the sofa watching the Telly. I go sit beside her and she crawls onto my lap. She curls up and lays her head against me. I rub her head and grab a blanket. I move some so my legs can lay out on the couch and she can lay more comfortable on me. She holds onto my shirt as she watches the show she has on. I rub at her head as I relax with her. I don’t know when but we both end up falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading. Comment and let me know your thoughts. I’ll start replying to some. I’ve gotten bad at replying so I will try harder (: thank you .xx


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I was going to update yesterday but I currently have the flu so I didn’t feel up to it. Feeling a bit better now so I wanted to post. This chapter is interesting so I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> WARNING: the mention of sexual abuse is brought up at the very end of this chapter. If you are sensitive to the subject, please don’t read the last bit. Thank you .xx

We moved into the new place a few days ago. Since I told Louis about getting accepted, he’s been distant. Every time I call he’s always busy or doesn’t answer. He also takes hours to reply to texts and it’s really getting frustrating. I can’t tell if Isabella and Joseph like the new place or not. My mum, Gemma, and Michal helped us unpack everything. It went pretty fast considering we didn’t have much. It was a good time to go through what fit them and what didn’t, clothes wise, when we packed up the other day. It has a nice sized garden in the back. Enough to run around in. For the kids at least. I just made dinner and I’m sitting with Bella and Joseph while we eat. 

“Can we go see auntie gem tomorrow?” Bella asks. 

“You saw her today.”

“I wanna see her again.” 

“Yea. That’s fine.” I say. 

“I want to go tonight.” Joseph says. 

“Why?” I ask. 

“Because this house is scary.” 

“What?” 

He looks down some as if I just yelled at him. 

“Why is it scary?” 

“Because it is.” He mumbles. 

“No it’s not. It’s a good house. Safe.” I say. 

He doesn’t reply. When we are done eating, they get their showers. I get in the shower quickly after. I take a fast one and get out. Joseph is laying on my bed in his towel still. 

“What are you doing, baby?” I ask. 

“Sleeping.” He says. 

“You have a new room. Why don’t you sleep there?” I ask. 

He shakes his head and moves his towel. He throws it aside and moves under the covers. I go to his room and grab night clothes for him and undies. I come back. 

“Get dressed.” I say to him. 

He shakes his head. 

“No..” he says. 

“Yes. Put some clothes on.”

“It’s hot.” 

“Don’t care. Clothes.” I say. 

“Nooo..” he whines and pushes the clothes off the bed. 

“Put undies on then.” I say and lay them beside him. 

I grab clothes and change. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth before going back. His undies aren’t on the bed anymore and his back is to me. I sit on the bed and grab my phone. 

Me:  
Hey gem. Joseph and Bella wanna hang out with you tomorrow. 

She responds quickly. 

Gem:  
Ok. I’m hanging out with Lottie tomorrow. She’s bringing the twins over.

Me:  
Perfect. They can all hang out. 

I look at Joseph when I hear him move around. Something catches my eye. I reach forward and stick my hand under his pillow and grab his undies. 

“Hey!” I say. 

He starts giggling loudly. 

“I tricked you!” He says as he rolls into his back. 

“How did you trick me?” I ask. 

“You thought I put them on but I didn’t!” He giggles. 

I smile and shake my head. 

“Silly boy.” I say. 

I pull him from under the covers and lay him on his back. I tickle at his stomach some and it only makes him laugh more. I bend down and kiss at his face as I tickle him. He squeals loudly and smacks at me. 

“Stop it! Stop!” He giggles. 

I stop tickling him but give him a few kisses. He’s breathing hard as he calms his laughter. I grab his underwear and put them on. 

“Why do I have to wear clothes?” He asks. 

“Because. If you sleep in bed with me, you need clothes.”

“Boo never wears clothes to bed.”

“Boo is an adult. He can do what he wants. You need to be covered.” I say. 

He just nods and moves back under the covers. 

“Let me go tell sissy goodnight.” I say. 

He nods and I walk out. She’s already asleep when I go to her room. I sit on the edge and kiss her face. She moves some and looks at me. 

“Hi.” She says. 

“Just coming to tell you goodnight.” I say. 

She nods and hugs me. I give her another kiss before pulling the blanket up more. I leave and turn the light off. I go back to my room and turn the light off. Joseph is sprawled our already and his eyes are closed. I rub his chest lightly as I lay down. He doesn’t move so he’s most likely asleep. I can see his undies hidden under the pillow again. I shake my head and smile. Sometimes I think Joseph is actually mine when it comes to this. Bella was the same way. Never wanted clothes on but underwear was a rule. Joseph doesn’t listen a lot and Louis let him get away with it. I was always like this too growing up. Constantly just naked. I let him get away with it tonight only because he’ll cry if I wake him up. I text Louis Goodnight and tell him Joseph’s underwear incident before getting some sleep. 

———

I wake up in the middle of the night by crying. I move some and sit up. It’s Joseph. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” I ask and reach out to him. 

“I weed. I’m sorry..” he cries and rubs at his eyes. 

I sigh some and get up. 

“It’s ok, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up.” I say and pull him from the bed. 

“Go get more pants from your room.” I say. 

He hugs my leg. 

“No. It’s scary, daddy. No!”

“It’s not scary.” I say. 

He nods and hugs me tighter. I remember he didn’t actually use the ones I got him last night and grab them from under the pillow. I put them on the night stand. I start pulling the bedding off. He doesn’t let go and I keep tripping over him. I grab clean sheets and make the bed again before going to the bathroom. I get a wet cloth and kneel down. He’s still crying and shaking. I wipe him down so he isn’t covered in pee. 

“Baby stop crying. It’s ok. It happens.” I say. 

This is the second night in a row that he’s peed the bed. He hasn’t peed the bed in so long. He grew out of that quickly unlike Bella. It took forever for her to grow out of it. He stopped wearing pull-ups to bed when he was three and rarely has an accident. I dry him off and pick him up. He clings to me immediately and I carry him to the bed. I get him dressed and he lets me put pajamas on him that I had for him earlier. He’s calming down some but doesn’t stop crying until he’s back asleep in bed. I grab my phone and see that Louis never replied. I text him again. 

Me:  
Second night in a row that Jojo peed the bed.

He doesn’t respond but I see him open the message. I roll my eyes and put my phone down and try to get some more sleep. 

———

I wake up with a gasp and sit up quickly. It’s light out now. I feel my heart racing as I look around. I had a dream about the incident that happened in LA. It felt so real and I thought it was happening again. I try to calm myself down but I can’t. I get up and go downstairs. I make a cup of coffee and sit at the table. I look out the back window at the garden. Fuck. I can’t stop thinking about it and it feels more and more real the more I think. 

Louis FaceTimes the kids in the morning after they wake up. He’s about to go to bed. I let them talk to him while I make breakfast. He tells them goodnight and hangs up when I come back into the room. I hear another voice before he hangs up. I freeze some. 

“Who was with boo?” I ask. 

“His boy friend!” Joseph says. 

“What?” 

“That was Boo’s boy friend. He stayed with us when we saw boo! I forget his name.” Joseph says. 

I look at Bella. She looks down some. 

“It’s a secret, Jojo.” She mumbles. 

I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. I don’t know why. They’re just kids. They probably just call his friend that or something. Bella called Louis my boy friend for so long and he wasn’t. 

“Breakfast is ready.” I say. 

They go to the table and I text Louis. 

Me:  
Who’s with you?

Lou:  
Nobody. 

Me:  
I heard another guy with you. I’m just asking who it is?

Lou:  
It’s no one, harry. Just my mate Calvin. 

Me:  
Why didn’t you tell me that when I first asked?

Lou:  
Because you would have jumped to conclusion.

Me:  
You lying to me is making me jump to conclusion so thank you. 

He responds but I don’t look. 

“Why do you think Calvin is Boos boyfriend?” I ask. 

“Because he said so. And they hugged a lot when we were there. Slept in the same bed.” 

I look at Isabella again. She nods some. 

“I don’t remember them sleeping in the same bed but he hugged him.” She says. 

I nod some. 

“Didn’t call him his boy friend either but they touched a lot like you all do.” She mumbles. 

I nod again. Of course he has someone else there. Of course. He’s over there by himself with no other priorities. He would have someone. I don’t know why I didn’t think this before. I stand up and dump my plate, suddenly not hungry anymore. I grab my phone and text Louis again. 

Me:  
Well you have your son convinced that Calvin is your boy friend too. So thank you for that as well. Mind explaining? 

Of course no answer. He doesn’t even open it. I roll my eyes and text gem that we are up and she can come get them soon. 

I spend the day pouting and just feeling upset. I can’t believe this. Not only is the stupid fucking incident replaying over and over again in my head, I can’t stop thinking about Louis. Is he cheating on me? Of course he would. I cheated on him. I slept with someone when I was in LA. He’s probably doing this on purpose to get me back. But they said Calvin was there before I got there. 

It’s around dinner time when Louis responds. 

Lou:  
What the hell are you talking about, harry?

Me:  
Are you cheating on me?

Lou:  
No! Why the fuck would you think that?

Me:  
Forget it, Lou. You’d never confess if I asked so just never mind. Forget working things out with us. I’ll go file for divorce on Monday since you’ve already moved on. Joseph and Bella told me about your friend and if this is payback for what I did in LA, that’s a low blow. Fuck, Louis. I thought better of you. 

I text Gemma a quick text that I’m going out and she says the kids can stay there. Louis tries to call but I ignore it. 

Lou:  
I’m not fucking cheating on you, moron. 

Me:  
You hug and touch another guy in front of our kids, let him stay over, in the bed I fucked you in. You probably let him fuck you in it before I showed up. I don’t want to hear it, Louis. I’m over this. I don’t have the strength to deal with you anymore. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. 

I turn my phone off after sending the text. I pull at my hair some and go upstairs. I put normal clothes on, not night clothes and grab my wallet. My mind is spinning right now and I’m thinking of every negative thing in my life right now. That’s probably why he moved to LA. He had someone else there. Fuck! How could I be so stupid? I let myself fall for him again when I was there and I’m such an idiot. 

I grab my keys. I leave my phone at home and start driving. My head is so full of stupid thoughts. I want to just escape from them. I can’t do this. I can’t take it anymore. I find myself pulling into the pub we always go to. I get out and go in. I go to the bar. 

“Double shot of tequila.” I say. “Actually make that two.”

“Woah. I’ve never seen you drink in here.” The bartender says. 

He places the shots in front of me and I down them quickly, enjoying the burn. 

“Two more.”

“You sure?” He asks. 

I nod and he nods. I throw them back just as quickly and sit down. 

“You Alright, mate?” He asks. 

I nod. 

“Just keep the drinks coming. Anything. I don’t care. I need to be drunk right now.” I say. 

“Ok..” he says cautiously. 

And this is where I spend my night. Getting shit faced in this stupid pub Louis and I always have fun in. Stupid Louis. Fuck him. I hate him. He’s ruining my life. I cover my face as my elbows rest on the bar. Why did I ever have to fall for him? Why couldn’t I have just went on my way after he gave my guitar back to me all those years ago. My life completely changed and I want to just go back to how it was. I don’t want this stupid life anymore. I want Bella and Joseph and that’s all. I want out of Louis’ life and I want him out of mine. But he never will be. Joseph is his child. I have the right to push him away from Bella but not Joseph. I can’t unless he gives up his rights but he never would. I groan in annoyance and move my arms to lay on the bar. I hide my face in them. What the fuck am I doing with my life? I’m so pathetic. I deserve every shitty thing that’s ever happened to me. I probably deserved to die in that stupid fucking wreck all those years ago but I didn’t. Innocent people lost their lives but I didn’t. I lived when I should have just died. I feel my tears coming and I can’t stop them. As soon as they fall, I feel a hand on my back. 

“Harry?” I hear. 

I look up and see Niall. His eyes widen when he sees me. 

“I fucked up. I-I fuck..” I mumble. 

I can’t even talk properly. He looks back. 

“Liam. Zayn.” He calls. 

They hurry over and they’re surprised too. 

“Mate. How much have you had to drink?” Zayn asks. 

“Liam you were right. You were right when you told Louis I was a killer. You were right. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have let him drive me that night. I should have just called a cab but I didn’t and people died. You told Louis to stay away from me. He should have listened! He shouldn’t have fucking got involved with a stupid homeless piece of shit like me. He shouldn’t have. He should have been with you. This should be your life. You should have gotten him not me. I fucked everything up! I did!”

“Harry stop. What are you talking about? Everything I told Louis before was a lie. You know that. I was jealous. I never meant any of it. I’m sorry. Don’t think I did. I thought we were over this. I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. 

“I shouldn’t be alive. I should have died that night too. I should have-“

I stop and just cry. I lay my head back down and just sob into my arms. 

“Harry where are the kids?” Liam asks. 

“With gem-Gemma.” I hiccup. 

“I’ll call her. You all get him to the car.” Liam says. 

Zayn pays my tab before helping me up. Him and Niall both have to carry me to Liam’s car. They help me in and Niall sits in the back with me. Liam gets in a bit later. They drive me to Gemma’s as I cry about nonsense in the back. I’m not even speaking properly. I make no sense but I still cry. I’m so fucking pathetic. They help me inside and Gemma looks so surprised. 

“Harry what’s wrong? What happened?” She asks as they lead me to the couch. 

I sit down. 

“He’s cheating. Louis’ cheating on me. He has another boy friend in LA. The kids met him and they said it was a secret.” I say.

Everyone freezes when they hear me. 

“What?” She asks. 

“He has a boyfriend! I said that already!” I yell. 

“Shh. The kids are sleeping. Don’t wake them up!” She says. 

“He found someone else. I wasn’t enough for him.” I say. 

“He’d never cheat on you. He loves you so much.” Niall says. 

I shake my head. 

“No. Calvin is better. He likes him more apparently.” I say. 

Liam gives me a weird look. 

“What? Calvin?” He asks. 

I nod. 

“That is what this is about?” He asks. 

I nod again. 

“Is no one listening when I talk?” I ask. 

“Harry. Calvin is Louis’ childhood friend.” Liam says. 

“Well they’re dating now.”

“No. Calvin is very straight with a wife and kids. They moved there a few years back. Reconnected when Louis moved. I thought he told you? Calvin has been helping him out and stuff. Louis is there alone. They have him over for dinner all the time. With his wife who also grew up with them.” Liam says. 

“What?” I ask quietly. 

“He’s not cheating on you with Calvin.” Liam says. 

I cover my face. 

“Oh god. I fucked up! I really fucked up!” 

Gemma sighs. 

“I’ll take it from here. Thank you for bringing him to me.” She says. 

They nod and say goodbye before leaving. Gemma sits on the couch and pulls me down so I’m laying my head in her lap. She rubs my head and tries to calm me down. I try to stop but it’s hard. I eventually get myself under control but I’m still crying. I’m quiet though. She hasn’t said anything. 

“Gem?” I say quietly. 

“Yea?” 

“I wanna tell you something that’s really bothered me lately.” I say. 

“Ok.” 

She runs her fingers through my hair. 

“Something happened when I went to LA to see Louis..” I say quietly. 

“What?” 

“I got drugged at a bar and some girl took advantage of me.” I whisper through my tears. 

It’s worse saying it out loud. Her hand stops. 

“What?” She asks. 

I nod and sit up. I look at my lap. 

“I wasn’t drinking but I think she put something in my coke when I went to the toilet. I started getting really dizzy and disoriented. She said she’d help me back to my hotel. I could barely walk. When we got there, she had sex with me. I just laid there. I couldn’t move but she did everything. Like everything.” I say. 

She moves closer to me. 

“Harry..”

She grabs my arm. 

“Did you tell Louis?” 

I nod. 

“Yea. I woke up and was still drugged up. I was really scared so I called him. He came to me and brought me back to his house.” I say. “He was really upset. I cheated though. I slept with someone. I thought he was getting me back for that.”

“Harry that’s not cheating. You getting...getting raped isn’t cheating! Don’t even think that.”

“Louis said that too but I can’t help but think it. I just do.” I say. 

“Babe you shouldn’t.” She says. “Did you go to the police? Did she get arrested?”

“No. I didn’t want to go.” 

“What? Why?!” She asks. 

“Because it’s my decision I don’t want that to be a public thing. I don’t.” 

“Harry..” she says again. 

“Respect my decision.” I say. 

She doesn’t respond. It’s quiet. 

“Harry I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that at all. Is that why you’ve been so different since you came back? I wish you would have told me. I would have been there for you. I’m so sorry..” 

I shrug. 

“I don’t feel different. I still feel lost and confused. I just want Louis back home but I don’t think that’ll happen.” I say. 

“You can’t give up on him.” 

“He’s never coming back to England. He’s not giving his job up.”

“Why don’t you move there? If you want to be with him, maybe that’s the sacrifice you should take.” She says. 

“I don’t want to ever go back, Gem. I can’t. Not after what happened. I don’t want to go back.” 

She rubs my arm gently. 

“The kids want to stay here. They want him home. I want him home. Our lives are miserable without him.” I say. “I couldn’t move them there. The education is shit and I don’t want to raise my kids to be rich snobby preps. I want them to stay here. They’re grounded here. Moving to LA would be the worst thing. I don’t want them to grow up there.” 

“I understand. I do.” She says. 

“He doesn’t and it’s not fair. This is his family. Why doesn’t he care?” I ask. 

“I don’t know, H. I really don’t. Everyone is confused. Even Lottie.” She says. 

I just shake my head. 

“Why don’t you get some sleep and call him tomorrow. It’s Saturday and he doesn’t work.” She says. 

I nod some. 

“Yea..” I say. 

She kisses my head before grabbing a blanket. I lay down as she stands up. I use a couch pillow to rest my head on. She covers me up. 

“Goodnight, harry. If you ever need to talk to me about something, please never be afraid to. Im your sister. I’ll always be here for you.” She says. 

I nod some. She goes upstairs after turning the lights off. I find myself falling asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii! I’m super curious to know your all’s thoughts. Please comment if you’d like. Thank you for reading. There’s only a few chapters left. I’ve really enjoyed writing this even though I suck at updating. I’m trying to get better. Anyways. See you soon. I’ll try to update again within a few days. Still trying to polish up the next chapter !(: xx


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. This chapter is a lot so please hold on tight as you read. Hope you enjoy .xx

Hungover is an understatement when I wake up. I feel like absolute shit. I woke up to being jumped on my two children who were way too excited at this hour of the morning. I spent a bit of my morning in the bathroom recovering from last night. Gemma made breakfast and let me shower at her place because apparently I reaked of liquor. I used my same jeans but michals shirt and boxers after my shower. I’ve felt off this morning. I’ve been quiet and just not like myself. I look at Bella who is sitting in the floor. She’s coloring in a book. It reminds me so much of when she was younger and would color all the time. She’s gotten so good at drawing too. It’s amazing. I let her draw me a tattoo last year and she was so surprised when I told her it’d be on me forever. It was really cool. I watch her some. She looks at me and smiles. 

“What?” She giggles. 

I smile and shake my head. Gemma comes into the room. 

“Well Jojo and Annie are both napping in my room.” Gemma says. 

I nod some. 

“Hey. Actually. Can you just keep Joseph again today? I’m gonna take Bella somewhere. It’s important.” I say. 

“Yea. Everything ok?” She asks. 

I nod again. 

“You’re going to come back right?” 

“Yes, Gem. Come on Bella.” I say and stand. 

She cleans up and follows me out. The train is right close to Gemma’s place and I get it back to the bar where my car is. I drive us home after. I go inside and grab my guitar case. Bella follows closely. I go to her room next and grab her old back pack. I put coloring stuff in there. She looks confused. I put it on her and grab my case. 

“Come on.” I say. 

She nods and follows. I go outside and lock the door behind us. 

“Where are we going?” She asks. 

“Surprise.” I say. 

I walk to the sidewalk and she looks confused. 

“We aren’t driving?”

“Baby we use to walk everywhere. I wanna walk.” I say. 

She smiles and grabs my hand. We walk to the station and get on. She holds my arm as her head lays against it. When we get off, she smiles at me. It’s been so long since we’ve been here but I think she knows what we’re doing. I walk out and down the road some until we are at the old plaza I would always play at. She smiles more. 

“Are you gonna sing, daddy?” She asks. 

I nod some and walk her to the bench we’d always sit at. It’s a new one, I notice. She sits and watches excitedly. I get my case open and grab my guitar. I close it and slide it under the bench. I’m not doing this to make money. I’m doing this for myself. To feel normal again. Like how I felt before Louis came into my life. I tune my guitar up and look at her. 

“What am I singing first?” I ask. 

“Anything!” She says. 

I smile more and strum some as I think. I stand and fix my strap some. I start strumming more. 

“I’ve got a girl crush. Hate to admit it but...” I start singing. 

It immediately catches people’s attention. It’s the song I’ve had stuck in my stupid fucking head since yesterday. All I can think about is Louis. Louis possibly cheating. I didn’t feel good enough for him yesterday and that was the worst feeling ever. People gather around by the end of the first chorus. As I start the second verse, more come. Isabella loves this song too. I look back at her as the chorus comes and encourage her to sing along. She giggles and hides her face but sings quietly. She’s shy when it comes to singing now which is strange. She use to sing all the time. When I finish, people start clapping. 

“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe it.” A woman says. 

Everyone looks at her. 

“You use to play here all the time didn’t you?” She asks. 

I smile some and nod. 

“Yes ma’am.” I say. 

“I worked in the building across the street. Everyone loved listening to you but one day you were just gone.” She says. 

“Broke my hand. Couldn’t play anymore.” I say to her. 

“I’m so happy to see you back. This is amazing. I can’t wait to tell my old coworkers about this.”

“Oh wait! I remember you too! You did a killer cover of The Chain!” A man says. 

I laugh some and nod. 

“Yea. That’s one of my favorites.”

“Can you play it?” He asks. 

“Of course.” I say. 

I start playing and it’s crazy how happy I feel right now. Being in this environment again feels so right. So normal. Feels like home which is so weird. I always thought home was were ever Louis and the kids were but I’m pretty happy here too. As I finish everyone cheers which grabs more people’s attention. I’ve never had a crowd this size. Even on busy days but I hear people keep bringing up how I use to play here and more and more people remember. I’m talking to them as if I know all of them which is crazy. I would never talk before. Just sing and say thank you when people dropped money. I sing songs people request and it’s a really fun time. I look back at Bella. 

“Hey. Wanna sing a song for them?” I ask. 

She shrugs some. 

“She sings too?” A woman asks. 

I nod. 

“Beautifully. Come on, baby. Show them.” I say. 

She smiles shyly and nods some. Everyone cheers. 

“I wanna do the song you wrote. The pretty one.” She says. 

“Ok.” I say. 

“You start and then I’ll help.” 

I nod and start strumming. 

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain. I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days..” I start. 

She quietly sings with me. I smile and encourage her to sing louder. By the end of the chorus, she’s singing by herself and I have never felt so proud in my whole life. I watch her as I play. Through the song she would look up at me and I’d sing a bit with her to keep her feeling comfortable and confident. It’s amazing. I never thought I’d be here like this with her. My baby girl is incredible and I wish I could go back and tell my old self that this is where we’d be. Such a transformation. I want to also go back and tell myself not to get involved with Louis. I would love that but then I wouldn’t have Joseph. He’s my boy. I would have loved to have brought him but it wouldn’t have been the same. I needed this time with Bella. Needed an escape for a bit. Needed to feel how I use to feel with just her. Like none of this shit was happening and it’s perfect right now. After a few more songs, I decide it’s been enough. Some people stuck around the whole time and there was a big crowd through out the time I was here. When I finish my last song, I bow some and thank everyone. I see them start pulling money out. I raise my hands up. 

“No no. Please. Keep your money. I did this for fun not money. Thank you though. really. This was nice.” I say. “Just needed to come back here for the day and remember what it was like to play for people. You all were incredible. Thank you but please keep your money.” 

Everyone starts clapping again and I smile. I put my guitar up and the crowd disperses slowly. Bella hugs my arm tightly as I sit beside her and lock my case.

“Daddy that was so fun. Can we do this again?” She asks. 

I look at her and smile. 

“Yes actually. I’d love to start coming here more. You’d like that?” I ask. 

She nods quickly. 

“Maybe you can bring your guitar next time.” I say. 

She covers her face as she smiles. I smile too and kiss her head. 

“Harry.” I hear quietly. 

I jerk some at the voice and look up. I see Louis and my heart stops. Bella gasps. 

“Boo!” She yells. 

She goes to him quickly and he picks her up. Fuck. I wanted to have a good day with her. Like how it use to be. Why is he ruining it? He watches me with sad eyes as he hugs Isabelle. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask. 

He comes close and sits beside me. I move away, putting more space between us. 

“What are you doing here?” He asks me. 

I look down. 

“Just wanted to feel normal again. Like how I felt before I met you.” I say honestly. 

I visibly see him flinch from my words as if I just punched him. I don’t look at him though. It’s quiet for a bit. 

“I’m not cheating on you. I’d never-fuck I love you so much. I’d never do that to you harry. Calvin- he’s my old mate and-“

“Liam told me.” I say. 

“I’ve never felt so horrible, harry. I hated knowing that you thought that. I wanted to explain to you to ease your worries but you wouldn’t let me. Then Liam and Niall called saying you went out and got piss drunk at the pub. I boarded the next flight home. I don’t want you thinking I’d pick someone else to be with. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you and I truly mean that. You’re all I want. Nothing else. It hurts me when I think of how badly I need you in my life. I don’t want a life without you. Without Bella. Without Jojo. I want all of you with me. I want my family.” He says. 

I look at him finally. 

“I’m not moving to LA.” I say. 

He shakes his head. 

“Harry I quit my job.” He says quietly. 

I watch him. 

“What?” I ask. 

“I quit and packed my stuff. I left and I’m not going back.” I say. 

I feel like my stomach gets ripped out and I feel nauseous. 

“I’m home. To stay. I’m not leaving you again. I’m so stupid. I’m the biggest idiot. I swear if you’ll have me, I promise to never leave you again. I want you so badly. This. Us. I want to be with you and I will do everything I can to make it work. I’ll have to find another job but we will be fine for a bit.” He says. 

I just watch him in shock. I didn’t expect this. I didn’t know he’d drop everything for me. He seemed like he didn’t care. 

“I love you. I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry.” He says. 

“I-“ I stop. “I don’t know what to say.”

I look away some. 

“If you need time, I understand. I don’t deserve you. I know I don’t. I understand if you want to tell me to leave and never bother you again but harry, I love you. The last few months have been horrible without you. I never want that to happen again. Please just give me another chance. I promise I won’t let you down.” He says. 

“Daddy I want boo back home with us..” Bella says. 

I look at her. 

“Please can he come home?” She asks. 

I look at Louis. I can tell that he means every word he says. He’s a shit liar. I know that for a fact. I see truth and honesty behind his eyes but I can’t fall for him so quickly. 

“You can stay but I still need time, lou. I’ve never felt this kind of pain before in my whole life. Not even when my parents kicked me out. Not even when Lillian left. I need time to process this and heal up some before I trust you again.” I say. 

“But-“ 

I stop Isabelle. 

“I’m not done.” I say. 

She covers her mouth some. 

“You can stay at home. It’s small but cozy I think. I will just stay in Bella’s room at night or something. I’m not going to keep you from them any more but I need that for myself. You need to just respect my decision on wanting some space though. I won’t be around you all day. You’re there for them, not me. Just until I feel ready to start working on us. If I decide to. I need time.” I say. 

He nods. 

“I understand, harry. I do. You don’t need to explain. I really screwed up. Big time. I won’t push you or rush you. I will wait a whole lifetime for you if it means I can have you again.” He says. 

I nod some. It falls quiet. 

“Let’s go get Jojo. He’s going to be happy you’re home. It’s been really hard on him.” I say. 

He nods and moves Isabella from him. She grabs her bag and I grab my case as we leave. 

———

Jojo was extremely happy to see Louis. Gemma was also very surprised to see him. I didn’t know what to say to her. I had a lot to say but not in front of Louis. I promised her that I would tell her later. Showing Louis the new house was scary. I was afraid he wouldn’t like it but he really did. He made dinner for us and it was nice. I ate in the living room away from them. I just need to collect my thoughts. He took the kids outback to play after dinner and I cleaned the kitchen. I look out the window and see them all running around. I smile some. Isabella and Joseph are laughing at Louis because he fell. Joseph runs and jumps on top of him and Bella falls to the ground laughing. I shake my head some and go upstairs. I run myself a bath. I feel like I’m in desperate need of relaxing. I start the water and use a bit of bubbles. I strip down and climb in. I lay my head back as I sigh. I never get quiet alone time anymore. It’s always screaming, crying, giggling, arguing, and talking. It’s nice to just not be bothered. I’ve dealt with a lot over the last few months and I just need a break. I’d love to just take a trip by myself somewhere but I can’t. I’m still a parent and I lost that privilege years ago. I turn the water off when the bath fills. I get my hair wet before laying back. It’s quiet for less than five minutes before I hear yelling and quick footsteps. The bathroom door gets pushed open and I see Joseph run in. Louis is quickly behind him. Joseph freezes when he sees me. Louis quickly scoops him up. 

“I won!” Joseph yells. 

“You pushed me down. That’s cheating.” Louis says. 

Joseph just giggles. 

“Looks like daddy is using the bath. You’ll have to wait until he’s done to get one now.” He says. 

Joseph whines. 

“Nooo! I wanna play with daddy in the bath.” He whines. 

“No, love. He’s trying to relax.” Louis says. 

“I wanna play!”

“Let’s go play in the other tub. How about that?”

Joseph starts crying. 

“No! I wanna play with daddy!” He yells as his tears start falling. 

He starts squirming in louis’ hold. I sigh. 

“He’s fine, Louis.” I say. 

He nods and puts him down. Joseph runs over as I sit up. He tries to crawl in but I stop him. 

“Hey. You’re still dressed.” I say. 

Louis helps him get undressed. 

“Boo come play too.” He says. 

“No. There isn’t room.” He says. 

Joseph frowns. Louis sets him in the bath and he starts giggling as he looks at me. Louis grabs his dirty clothes and sets them in the basket. 

“Sit and wait, boo. I missed you.” Joseph says. 

Louis looks at me. I shrug some. Joseph will only throw a fit if I make Louis leave. He puts the toilet lid down and sits. Joseph stands and grabs his toys. I pull the drain in the tub to let some water out. It’s far up on Joseph. We have a really nice deep tub in this house which is surprising. I love it. He dumps his bucket of toys in and sits down. I plug the tub back when it’s less full. I make sure there’s plenty of bubbles so Louis can’t see anything. 

“Sorry.” He says to me.

“It’s fine. I was just hoping to get a break for a bit but that never happens.” I say. 

He frowns some. Joseph hands me a boat and he grabs one too. Bella walks in and she’s freshly showered and changed. She whines. 

“Why does daddy bathe with Jojo?” She asks. 

“Because he was already here when we came up.” Louis says. 

She crosses her arms. 

“And you’re too old to be bathing with him. You’re a big girl.” Louis says. 

She comes forward. 

“Can I play too?” She asks. 

Joseph nods quickly and hands her a toy. She giggles and kneels beside the tub. I shake my head some and smile. I play with them for a bit. Joseph would whine if I stopped. I feel like he’s a baby again. Louis and I would sit in the bath with him. One of us, at least. We’d play and splash around. He hated baths but when we’d get in, he'd want to play too. Bella would play too but we’d always keep our boxers on. I put a cloth over my lap when the bubbles start going away. Not that I’m uncomfortable, I just don’t want to be naked around them like this. It’s a bit different. And I’m sitting cross cross so it’s a bit of an odd position. 

“Alright. Let’s start washing up.” I say to Joseph. 

He frowns. 

“We’re having fun.” He says. 

“Yes but it’s almost bed time. Let’s hurry. Boo will read you a story tonight.” I say. 

“Any story you want.” Louis says. 

“Can I wash your hair?” Joseph asks. 

I laugh some. 

“Yes.” I say. 

He claps and stands. I wet my hair with a cup. I put shampoo in my hair and Joseph starts scrubbing. He’s giggling as he does. I can’t help but smile and laugh too. It’s really cute. The littlest things amuse him. I love it. He starts styling my hair in funny ways and Bella joins in. I eventually wash the soap out and help Joseph. He washes his body and I have to decline his help with washing myself. Little goof. 

“Ok. Let boo get you a towel.” I say as I pull the plug out. 

He nods and stands. Boo wraps a towel around him and lifts him from the tub. I stand and keep myself covered. I still catch louis’ eyes roaming as he hands me a towel. I choose to ignore it and wrap the towel around my waist. He leaves with Joseph and I change in the room. I go to Bella’s room and she isn’t there. I peak into Joseph’s room and see her sitting on his bed. Louis is changing Jojo. I leave before I’m spotted and go downstairs. I turn the telly on as I lay out on the couch. Halfway through the show, Louis comes down. He makes a cup of tea and comes into the living room. 

“Can I sit for a bit?” He asks. 

I nod and move my feet so he can sit. It’s quiet for awhile. 

“They’re both asleep in his room.” He says. 

I nod some. 

“I really like this house. Nice and cozy. I think the fire place will be lovely when it gets cold. It’s cute.” He says. 

I smile some. It’s quiet again. 

“Sorry about the bath situation. I was going to leave.”

“It’s fine. He would have just thrown a fit.” I say. 

He nods some. 

“It was really cute though. He was so happy.” He says. 

I smile. He was. He was being adorable and really playful. It’s quiet again and it’s a bit awkward. I know Louis doesn’t like watching home improvement shows like I have on. I want to change it to a sports channel for him but I decide not to. I get to control the telly. 

“Our anniversary is next week.” He says quietly. 

I look at him. 

“6 years..” he says. 

“It is isn’t it?” I say. 

He nods. 

“Are we..did you wanna do something? Or..” he trails off.

“I don’t know. Depends how I’m feeling. We still have a week.”

“I know. It’s just...we talked about doing a trip this time.”

“Louis. In all honesty, I’m very uncomfortable sitting here with you right now and I don’t even want to share the same bed. I can’t take a trip alone with you right now.” I say. 

He looks down. 

“I understand. We can bring the kids too.”

“No. That’s the last thing I want. I’ve been a full time single parent for a few months. The only thing I want right now is to just be left alone. Take a solo trip the fuck away from here for a weekend would be nice.” I say. 

He looks up at me. 

“Ok. So take one.” He says. 

“Yea right.” I say. 

He shakes his head. 

“I’m serious. They’re my kids too. I can watch them. It’s the least I can do. Go take a trip up north. Spa trip. You know that place we went on our 1 year anniversary? You loved it there. Go alone. Get pampered. You deserve it. Honestly.” He says. 

“No. I’m not leaving Joseph and Isabella right now.” I say. 

He just nods. It’s quiet but the silence is killing me and I can’t hold in my feelings anymore. I feel myself starting to boil. I grip the remote tightly as I try to collect my thoughts, but I can’t. I slam the remote down on the floor and look at Louis. He jerks and looks at me. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I ask. 

He looks at me in shock. 

“Honestly! What the fuck is your problem? Please. Tell me!”

“What? I just thought it’d be nice for you to have a trip away from everything. I’m sorry.” He says. 

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it!” I say. “I’m talking about this whole fucking situation. Why did you do this? Why did you put me through this, Louis?” 

He watches me and I can see the sadness in his eyes. Fuck. I feel my tears coming and I try to hold them in. 

“Do you understand the kind of pain I’ve been through these last few months Louis? What I felt is something you will never feel! Why?” I ask. 

“I-“ he stops. 

“You What? You’re selfish. An asshole? A stupid fucking twat? What Louis?” I ask. 

“All of the above.” 

“And then you just-you show up and think just because you quit your job that I’ll take you back? It’s not that simple!” I yell. 

A few angry tears fall and I wipe them quickly. 

“You left me with two children all alone in another country. You left me in a huge ass house that was so lonely without you. You left me to deal with two kids who would cry every night begging me to make you come home. Crying because they thought you hated them and didn’t want to be their Boo anymore. You went over to LA and enjoyed a stupid simple life while I was left here with all this mess and pain. You didn’t even care! You just picked up and left us here. You didn’t even bother to mention the job to me until you had an interview for it. Didn’t check with your fucking husband about it which that in itself is completely fucked! Then when you knew I wasn’t ok with it, you still went to the interview and took the fucking job like an idiot. Not to mention, you thought I’d actually come with you even when I said I wouldn’t!” I yell at him. 

I take a few breaths to calm myself but I can’t. He just watches. 

“And you left us! You just left!” I cry. “Didn’t even look back.”

He looks down some. 

“I hated you, Louis. Truly hated you! I never wanted to see you again. You hurt me so deeply and I thought I was at rock bottom. But then-then I went to LA.” I say. 

He looks back up at me and I see tears in his eyes. 

“I was trying to do what was best for the kids. I thought it’d help them by seeing you. But no. Of course not. It couldn’t be a peaceful trip. No. The world had to fuck me over and let me get fucking drugged at a bar and taken advantage of. As if my life wasn’t already complete shit, lets add rape onto that. Because hey, Harry really fucking needs that to happen. What did I do when that happened? I called you. I called because at the time, you felt like my safe place. Someone I could trust and someone I really needed. Then what? I ended up back in your bed which wasn’t suppose to happen, but it did. All the while, you had some side bitch that you’re trying to make me believe was nothing. Why would our son say those things if they weren’t real. He wouldn’t tell me you all slept in the same bed if you didn’t. He wouldn't just tell me it was a secret and that you were touching him. He’s not stupid, Louis. He knows better than to lie! He might be your kid, but he’s not an idiot like you! He wouldn’t make that shit up!” I yell. 

More emotions start taking over. I can’t even sit anymore. I start pacing the room as anger boils through me more. 

“Then you let me leave. You watched me get back on a plane and you stayed. Even after everything that happened. I fucking needed you Louis. Disneyland and sex wouldn’t make me forget about what happened. Wouldn’t make me feel better and ok! I was completely lost and felt like a piece of trash. I needed you there with me! I had to move out of our house because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t get you out of my stupid fucking head. You were everywhere I looked. Everywhere! We made so many stupid memories in that house. It was slowly killing me.” I say.

I grab at my hair in frustration. 

“You hurt me! How dare you! You’re my husband. I’m your husband. How could you hurt me this bad? How? I don’t understand. Why did you even marry me if you knew you’d hurt me? Please tell me what I did to make you want to do this to me because I don’t understand, Louis. I don’t!” I cry out. 

Tears are falling down his face. 

“I need an explanation because I’m so sick of trying to figure it out myself. No one understands, Louis! Please!” I beg. 

He shakes his head some as he cries. 

“I never thought it would end up like this. I’m sorry.” He says quietly. 

“That’s not good enough!” I yell. 

“I know! I’m going to explain. Just please. Sit down.” He says. 

“Don’t tell me what to do.” I say. 

He looks down again. 

“I honestly didn’t think I’d get the job. I mentioned it to Niall one day. Saw the posting and we laughed about it. Thought I should just give it a shot. Never did I think they’d actually be interested. It was such a high position. Didn’t think I had the experience for it. I actually didn’t in the description the job gave. But I applied. I forgot about it until my company brought it up. I never thought about what would happen if I got it because I didn’t think I would. But then I got fired and felt really lost. I was angry. Of course I hated my job but it was all a show about me not caring. I was hurt that my company just threw me out. I didn’t think I would get the LA job and then I was jobless in London too. I was angry and took it out on you. Then they called for an interview. I was over the moon about it because like I said, the position was way out of my league and I got excited. When I mentioned it to you and you weren’t happy, I thought I could change your mind. I never knew I’d hurt you so much. I knew how good the job would be. The money. I knew it would be a great move for us. Especially to be in the states. It sounded so good to me but I wasn’t thinking right. I saw money and ran to it. I thought that money was what we needed. When they offered me the job, I still thought you’d change your mind. You’re so stubborn but eventually give in. I kept thinking you would. I told myself that if I actually left, you’d change your mind. I convinced myself that you would. Then when you didn’t, I made myself believe that it was because the school year wasn’t up yet. I found a house perfect for us. I went smaller because I knew you wouldn’t want something big. You’d want a normal sized house for the kids. You never liked having a bigger house. Wanted them to feel more grounded and not know we had money. I picked a house in a good school district because I knew you’d care about that. You didn’t talk to me though. I sent you house listings and you didn’t reply. I just thought you were still being stubborn so I went along with it. Thought it would end soon. Kept telling myself that you’ll give in. Soon. Just soon when you agreed to come to LA, I knew that was my chance. I knew you’d change your mind and that I’d get you to stay for sure. I had a big week planned for us when I wasn’t working. I had a tour for a school I thought you’d like for the kids. It was super nice and the best in the city. You didn’t want to stay with me though. It really hurt me because it started to feel more real. I tried to ignore it and pretended it would be fine when you got there but it wasn’t. It wasn’t fine at all.” He says. 

I watch him as he speaks. He wipes his eyes as he tries to continue. 

“I would never cheat on you. Calvin is someone I grew up with. When the kids were there, it killed me to not have you there. That’s when it hit me. I fucked up. I was feeling what you felt for over a month. I felt so fucking guilty. I felt lost and just so worthless. Calvin was there to meet the kids. I got really upset and just broke down after they went to sleep. He was there. He was just trying to comfort me. He was the only person I had in LA. Him and his wife. They were so good to me. I wanted to lay down so he helped me to my room. I was just so sad and couldn’t stop crying. It was just the biggest slap in the face. He accidentally fell asleep in the bed. We weren’t even close. Not touching at all. Joseph woke me up the next morning and he got confused. He asked if it was normal for Calvin to be in my bed and I said no. It was an accident. He then brought up how the only person allowed to sleep with me besides him and Bella was you. He got upset a bit and thought Calvin was my new boy friend because I hugged him when he came over. It was one hug when I greeted him. I got scared when he said that and told him no. I said it was a secret and that he can’t tell anyone. I was scared he’d tell you and that you’d think wrong. And he did. He was just being a friend and it all looked wrong. I’m in no way attracted to Calvin. He’s a friend and nothing more. He’s married and has his own kids. I just needed someone that night because I was ruining everything I worked so hard to have. I was losing you, my family, my everything. Then the incident happened. I’ve never felt that kind of pain before. I’ve never wanted to kill someone so much. I would have killed that girl if I met her and happily would have sat my ass in jail for the rest of my life. You were so-so broken and I hated it. I wanted to take your pain. I realized the day before the pain I caused you and then it was all thrown into my face more when this happened. You were the last person to deserve something like that and I couldn’t wrap my head around why that happened. I wanted to just fucking burst with anger. I wanted to just destroy the whole world. I can’t explain what I felt. I wanted to shield you from everything and never let someone hurt you again. I said we didn’t have to go to Disney. I wanted to stay home and just be with you. Be there for you. But you said you wanted the escape so I thought I was doing what was right. I always wanted to do what was right. That’s why I got into this stupid mess in the first place. I thought I was thinking about this family but I wasn’t. I was only thinking about myself. Watching you leave LA was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My heart was ripped out of my chest when you left. I wanted to run after you and beg you not to leave but I knew I couldn’t. I knew then that you weren’t coming back and that I was completely wrong about everything. I was wrong and felt like the worst human being ever. The worst husband. Then you wanted to move houses. It hit me more. I thought then that I truly didn’t deserve this anymore. I was causing so much pain. So much fucking pain. I thought you’d be better without me. That I would just give up and let you go on your way. You deserve so much better. I never wanted to hurt you but everything I did, it only hurt you more. It wasn’t fair to you, wasn’t fair to Bella, and it wasn’t fair to Joseph. I was ready to just call it quits but then Joseph brought up Calvin and shit really hit the fan. That was my breaking point. That was your breaking point. Fuck, Harry. You broke your 10 plus years of not drinking because you felt like getting drunk was the only way to escape what you were feeling. And it was all my fault because I’m so fucking selfish and a fucking trash bag. It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done when I packed my bags to come back. I’ve never been so sure of something. I knew then that I needed to fix this but honestly, I don’t think I can. So here I am, explaining everything and looking like a complete fool for being so stupid. I hurt the one person I love the most and I don’t think I’ll ever get your forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you but you’re all I want. I know I fucked up, but I can’t think of my life without you. I was wrong for months. I thought I was doing what was right for us but I wasn’t and I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here when you needed me the most. I’m sorry that I let you down. I never wanted to hurt you and I did. I’ll never let myself live this down.” 

He finishes and we are both complete messes and I don’t know what to do. 

“I can’t forgive you, louis. Not this time.” I say quietly. 

He looks down and covers his face. 

“The amount of hurt you’ve caused is something that needs time to heal. I don’t know how I can ever look at you the same way. I’d be so stupid to just take you back. I did that last time and I regret it so much. I need away from you. That’s what I need right now. Away. I need to get Bella and get away from you.” I say. 

“Harry..” he cries quietly. 

I shake my head. 

“Louis please. This is my decision and you need you to respect that. If you ever want a future with me, you’ll let me just walk away right now.” I say. 

He covers his face as he cries. More tears fall down my face. I go upstairs and to Joseph’s room. I know I can’t take him. I can’t take him from Louis. I love him with everything in me but I just can’t do that to Joseph or Louis. I go to the bed and bend down. I rub Joseph’s cheek before bending down to give him a few kisses. 

“I love you so much, baby.” I whisper. 

I give him one more kiss before reaching over and grabbing Bella. I pick her up and carry her downstairs. I slip shoes on and grab my keys and wallet. 

“Harry.” Louis says quietly. 

I look at him. He’s standing close. 

“I really fucked everything up didn’t I? I ruined us. I ruined this family.” He says. 

I nod lightly and look away. 

“Please tell me you’ll come back. You’ll come back for Joseph. Please.” He says. 

“Don’t. Don’t use him against me.” 

He shakes his head. 

“Not for me. For him. I don’t want you to leave and not ever see him. Don’t let my fuck up ruin things for him. You’re his dad. You’ll always be his dad. He needs you too.” 

“Of course I’ll come see him. He’s my child too. But it might be awhile. I don’t want to even speak to you for awhile. I just need time. I will have Gemma reach out or something.” I say. 

He just nods. I reach forward and grab the door knob. I stop and look back. More tears fall. 

“Tell him I love him. Tell him I’ll be back. Please. Tuck him in tightly every night and give him a kiss for me.” I say. 

He nods as he breaks down more. 

“Tell him I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to stay for him. Just tell him I love him.” I say. 

“I will. I’m sorry Harry. I’m so sorry.” He says. 

I give him one last look before I leave. I shut the door and don’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH!!! I’m sorry!! I’m sorry.


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii!! I’m back (: i didn’t preread this before posting, so I’m sorry for any mistakes!!

The new school year just started and I’m really excited for it. I’m ready to have my days filled with happy children and music. It’ll help me get my mind off of everything. It’s been two months since I spoke to Louis and its been hard but it’s getting easier. I moved home with my mum for a bit after I left Louis. I drove straight there with Bella and we were there for a month. The hardest part was not seeing Joseph. Gemma brought him up two weekends during that month and it was hard to say goodbye both times. I never wanted to abandon one of my kids but I know Louis would literally be completely lost without him. That’s ultimately his son and I’m not a complete dick. I know he needs him even though he’s still my kid too. It’s hard not being able to give him baths and kiss him goodnight but it’s just like that now. It has to be. I can’t be around Louis and it just sucks that Joseph has to be punished for that. Bella and I moved back to London after the month of being gone. I got a small flat for the two of us. Two bedrooms and it’s really close to Gemma. That helps a lot because where Louis and I aren’t on speaking terms, Gemma communicates for us. I didn’t want Bella to see Louis anymore but it got really hard on her. I hate that she got so close to him but it’s not her fault. That was her step father and he really helped me raise her for the second half of her life. He’s all she knew as a second parent. I gave in and let her see him every other weekend when Joseph wasn’t with me. It was best that way too so her and Joseph could see each other every weekend. They just switch houses. It was hard to explain to Isabelle what was happening and Gemma said Louis had the same troubles with Joseph. I know it’s confusing but I can’t be with him just for the kids. It’s not healthy. We still aren’t divorced yet. We aren’t speaking so it’s hard to figure out something when we don’t talk. We will just hold off until we can see each other. I’m just happy I get to see Joseph more since school is starting. We switched to me having him during the weeks and Louis having the kids during the weekends. Bella is free to go whenever. She can stay home if she wants. He was never her legal guardian so I can’t force her to go see him. She’s never said no, so it’s not a problem. It just gets lonely on the weekends so I’m usually at Gemma’s helping with the baby while her and Michal get to have date nights. It’s nice. I love watching Annie. She’s a super sweet baby and easy to watch. 

It’s now Thursday and I dropped the kids off at school. I have the same schedule as last year. I only work mondays, Wednesdays, and fridays. So it’s my day off. I have a few doctor appointments today. Just normal routine check ups and dentist cleaning. I enjoy days like this. I use to always be so bored and wait for Louis to call or text on my days off but now I just get to enjoy time by myself. He got a new job and I don’t really know much about it. I know he stayed in the house I started renting. I only know that because I drop Isabella off there. I never go in. I watch her walk to the door and make sure she’s safe inside. Like I mentioned earlier, all communication is through Gemma. She’s been great through this whole thing. I thought I was being crazy when I said I didn’t want to speak to him but she made me feel better about it. She’s just helped so much and has been really supportive. She’s stepped up a lot and is just the best sister. That’s why I try to help out as much as I can with Annie. She was always the first to help watch my kids. She’s done so much. I owe her the world. 

I just got lunch when I get a call. I see it’s the school calling. I give my phone a weird look before answering. 

“Hello?” I answer. 

“Hi, Mr. Styles. Sorry to bother you on your day off but your son, Joseph got into a bit of a fight at school and I was calling you because we need you to come down for a bit.” 

“Is he ok?” I ask. 

“yea. He’s fine. He’s actually the one who started the fight but refuses to talk unless his dad is here.” He says. 

I sigh. 

“Ok. Yea ok. I’m on my way now. I’m so sorry for his behavior. I’ll be right there.” 

I hang up and throw my trash away before heading to the school. Joseph has never in his life been aggressive. Why in the world would he start a fight? I get to the school and park before hurrying in. I go right to the headmasters office and knock before entering. As soon as I get in, I see Louis sitting in front of the desk with Joseph in his lap. I immediately turn around to walk out.

“Mr. Styles. We’ve been waiting.” 

Fuck. I freeze and turn around. I see Joseph crying lightly as he rubs his eyes. I sigh and walk in. I go to the other chair beside Louis. I move it away before sitting down. I don’t care how childish that is, I need to keep my distance. He’s not making eye contact with me which is fine. 

“Thank you for coming in. We’ve never had an issue with Joseph here so this was a bit of a surprise for all of us. During recess he jumped on a child and was refusing to get off. He was hitting and kicking him. Made him bleed. As you can tell, this is very serious and something we won’t tolerate. He won’t tell us what happened though. That’s why we called you all in.” He says. 

I nod lightly. 

“He still hasn’t said anything?” I ask. 

“He wanted you here.” Louis says quietly. 

I look at him but he’s still looking down, trying to calm Joseph. 

“What happened, Jojo? Why did you hurt another boy?” I ask. 

He shrugs as he cries. 

“No shrugging. We’re both here so tell us what happened.” Louis says. 

Joseph sits back and wipes his eyes. Louis turns him sideways so he’s facing me. He sniffs some. 

“W-well during art today we had to draw our families and show everyone. I drew me daddy boo and sissy. When I showed everyone, Timmy laughed at me. He said I don’t really have two daddys. That it wasn’t real. Said I was lying and made everyone laugh at me. That made me sad. The teacher didn’t even get him in trouble. Just told him to stop. Then at recess he was laughing at me again because he said it wasn’t right that I have daddy and boo. Said that I can only have a mummy and daddy.” He stops and cries more. “He said I was stupid and that I was a liar. But I’m not! I have a daddy and a boo and he was being mean to me! He said mean things and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt him. He pushed me down and I was just so mad at him. He was a meanie and didn’t even say sorry!” 

He cries harder and Louis pulls him close as he tries to calm him. Louis looks up at me and I look away. He looks upset. I hear my boss sigh. I look up at him. 

“Well I didn’t know that was the case here..” he says. 

“I’m so sorry. He’s never acted this way. I’m sorry for his behavior. His home life is a bit rough right now with our separation. He’s probably just acting out because of that. I’m so sorry.” I say. 

I want to defend my child but I don’t know what to say. That kid was completely out of line by saying that stuff to Joseph but this is my boss. I can’t tell him what to do about the situation because my job could be on the line. 

“Mr. Styles. You know our policies on fighting. We don’t tolerate it here but this is a bit different. I’m going to have a talk with Timmy and his parents as well. I’m sorry that child treated him that way. I will also have a talk with his teacher. That should have been stopped right away and Timmy should have been punished. I won’t excuse Joseph’s behavior but since this is his first offense and under these circumstances, I’ll just have to suspend him until Monday.” He says. 

“I understand, sir. I can assure you that this won’t happen again. We will have a talk with him about this as well.” I say. 

“Thank you. Just take him home and get him calmed down. I’ll have him back in my office Monday morning with Timmy. We can all discuss this with his parents as well.” He says. 

I nod. 

“Thank you.” I say. 

“You all have a good rest of your day.” He says. 

I nod and stand. Louis carries Joseph out and I hold the door for him. I feel tense as I’m left alone with Louis. Joseph is here too, but still. This is the first time I’ve seen him and I don’t know what to say. 

“I have to go back to work soon.” He says. 

I nod lightly. 

“I’ll take him with me.” I say. 

“I’m sorry. I just have a meeting and-“

“It’s fine. I’m off. I just don’t know what to do about tomorrow. I’m working. It’s the start of a new year. I can’t take off already.” I say. 

“I’ll take him tomorrow. You can drop him off at my place tomorrow on your way to school.” He says. 

“Ok. Thank you.” I say. 

I reach and grab Joseph from him. 

“We need to speak to him, harry. This isn’t normal for him. Something is clearly going on in his head for him to act out like this.” Louis says. 

“His parents are separated right now. That’s not normal for him. It’s something that’s hard on him. Obviously that’s what’s wrong. There’s nothing to speak about. I’ll talk to him about it when I get him home.” I say. 

“He’s my son too. We should speak to him together.” 

“Well you have work so.” 

“I get off at 5.” He says. 

I sigh in annoyance. 

“Well you know where I live. Come over and talk with him then.” I say. 

“Fine.” He says quietly. “I’ll be over after. I’ll bring by some pizza.” 

I nod. He moves forward and kisses Joseph’s face. 

“Bye, Love. I’ll see you later.” He says. 

He nods. We leave and I put Joseph in the car before driving him home. 

———

I’m helping Bella and Joseph work on homework when there’s a knock on the door. I go answer is and see Louis. He has a pizza with him. I move out of the way and let him walk in. Bella smiles when she sees him. She rubs over and hugs him tightly. I see Joseph look at his lap. I take the pizza box and bring it to the kitchen before getting plates out. 

“Wash up and put your school stuff away please.” I say to the kids. 

They do as I say. 

“Need help?” Louis asks. 

“No.” I say. 

He nods and sits at the table. I plate pizzas and grab juices for the kids before bringing them to the table. I get Louis and I water before sitting. We all eat in silence. 

“I’m taking Joseph’s tablet away for a week. He also isn’t allowed to watch telly.” I say. 

“What am I suppose to do with him tomorrow when I’m working?” 

“I don’t know, Louis. Make him color or something. He’s a kid. He doesn’t need to be staring at a screen all the time anyways.” I say. 

He just sighs. 

“Fine.” He says. 

Joseph picks at his food but barely eats. 

“Is boo sleeping over?” Bella says. 

“No.” I say. 

She frowns. 

“Why not?” Joseph asks. 

“Because. He doesn’t live here. He has his own house.” I say. 

“But Annie doesn’t live here either. She sleeps over sometimes.” 

“Yes. When Auntie Gem and Michal are busy. Someone needs to watch her. Boo can watch himself.” I say. 

He rubs at his eyes and looks down at his lap again. It falls silent again as Joseph sniffs. Louis watches him with sad eyes. 

“You’ll be with me tomorrow, love. All day.” He says. 

“What about me?” Bella asks. 

“You have school. I’ll get you after if you want.” He says. 

“Yes please.” She says. 

He nods some. She smiles a little and I get up to dump my plate. 

“Isabella. Go shower then finish your homework in your room when your done eating, please. We need to speak with Joseph.” I say. 

She nods and pushes her plate away. 

“I’m done.” She says. 

I grab her plate. 

“Go on, then. Just skip the problems you don’t know how to do. I’ll help you when Louis leaves.” I say and rub her head. 

She nods again before going to her room. I take Joseph’s plate too and dump them. Louis cleans up a bit and I take Joseph to the sofa. I sit him down and sit on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Am I in trouble?” He asks quietly. 

“We just want to talk, baby. Ok?” I ask. 

He nods and wipes at his eyes as a few tears fall. Louis comes in and sits beside me. 

“Don’t cry, lovely. It’s ok.” Louis says. 

“You know you’ll never get in trouble if you’re honest with us. We want to just talk. We want to know what’s going on in that little head of yours. We’re here to talk about whatever you want, Alright? Anything.” I say. 

“We’re here to listen. Also here to answer anything you are confused about.” Louis says. 

“Why don’t you and daddy live apart?” He asks. 

We both sigh some. Louis looks at me. 

“That’s a complicated one. Sometimes you just need space from someone. You know we were fighting a lot. It wasn’t good. We shouldn’t be fighting. We needed a break from each other.” I say. 

“But why? Just stop fighting.” 

“I wish it was that easy, Jojo.” Louis says. 

“D-do you not love each other?” He asks. 

It falls painfully quiet for a few seconds. 

“I’ll always love Boo. Always.”

“Then why do you fight and live apart?” 

“Because. We still love each other, yes. We fight over stupid things and because we love each other and want to make things work, we agreed that we needed space right now.” Louis says. 

He doesn’t reply. He just cries as he rubs his eyes. 

“What are you thinking, babe?” I say. 

He shrugs. 

“Talk to us.” Louis says. 

“I just want to be a good family again. We aren’t a good family.”

“Yes we are. Things are just different right now.” I say. 

“No.” He says. “I want you and Boo to be nice to each other again. Good families aren’t mean to each other.” 

“We aren’t mean.”

“Yes huh! You’re mean and yell at each other. I don’t like that.” 

“I know and we’re sorry. We’re trying to work things out. I promise. This isn’t anything permanent. Just temporary.” 

“Louis don’t tell him that.”

“He’s a kid, harry. I’m not gonna just tell him we aren’t together for good.” 

“It’s more damaging in the long run if you get his hopes up. Don’t do that. He’s clearly upset and I’m not letting him think we will be ok when we don’t know if we will be.” 

“Well sorry. I don’t know how to handle this. How do I handle this? I’m shit at talking to him. You’ve had a kid before him. I’m new at this.”

“How am I suppose to know what to do? I’m not an expert at being a dad. I’ve also never had to deal with something like this. Isabella was one when her mum left. I didn’t have to cross this bridge with her!” 

“You always correct me on how I should parent. I’m just assuming you know everything!” He says. 

“See! I told you that you’re mean to each other! Stop fighting!” He yells and covers his ears. 

He starts crying harder and sobs loudly. I sigh and glare at Louis. 

“Love, calm down. It’s ok.” Louis says. 

Joseph stands and moves to him. Louis pulls him onto his lap and Joseph holds his shirt tightly as he cries into him. Louis rubs his back. 

“Please don’t not be together. I want my daddy and boo together. Please!” He cries loudly. 

I feel my chest tighten. 

“Baby. Even if we aren’t together, that doesn’t mean we love you less. Just because we can’t live together, doesn’t mean we won’t keep you away from one of us. It’ll all be ok if Boo and I decide to not be together. We love each other very much and that’ll never go away. Our love for you and your sister won’t go away either. We’re a family. A good family whether you believe that or not. We might live separate but we’re still so close and can do things as a family.” 

“I don’t want to be apart. That’s not fair.” He cries. 

“I know, baby. I know it’s so hard to understand but I promise you will someday. This is just how things have to be right now ok? I’m so sorry. We’re sorry. We don’t mean to upset you. This is why we can’t be together right now. We argue over stupid things and it upsets you. That’s not fair to you or your sister. We have our problems and we are trying to work through them. Just know we both love you so much.” I say. 

“I want to all live together.” He says quietly as he cries. 

“I know.” I say. 

I lean over and kiss his head. 

“Why don’t you go see if sissy can help you shower and get your pjs on? Help you calm down some.” Louis says. 

He shakes his head and holds him tighter. 

“Please? We need to talk privately.” He says. 

Joseph looks at him and frowns. Louis wipes his face free of tears. More fall though. Louis kisses his forehead. 

“I’ll come get you when we’re done ok?” He says. 

Joseph nods and hugs him again. He gives me a hug too before walking off. I sigh some. Louis moves to sit on the couch in front of me. I can’t really read his expression. 

“What are you thinking?” 

“I really fucked everything up. This is going to traumatize him and Bella. It’s all my fault.” 

“This is what I tried to warn you about but you were being too selfish.” I say. 

He glares at me. 

“I don’t need you being an asshole right now.” He says. 

“Well I’m just so frustrated. I can’t help it! I told you this would happen. You knew it would but you didn’t care. It’s too late now. You really have fucked everything up. Ruined every good thing we had.” 

“I get that, harry. I don’t need you rubbing that in my face! I understand now. Just shut up about it already.”

“No! I won’t shut up. Our child is completely broken right now! He gets like that all the time because of everything that’s happening! If you would have just fucking communicated with me properly from the start, we wouldn’t be here. But we are! It’s all of your fault, Louis! I will remind you that until the day I fucking die.” I say angrily. 

“I’m not explaining myself anymore. I told you I fucked up but I didn’t intentionally do it.”

“You were being stupid.” 

“I know I was, harry! Fuck!” He yells. 

“Don’t yell at me!” I warn. 

“You’re annoying the fuck out of me!” 

“I don’t care. The kids are in the next room. Don’t speak to me like that when they can hear you. You’ll only upset them more!” I say. 

He stands up. 

“How else are we suppose to talk? I have so much to say to you but you never let me because they’re around, or you just don’t fucking talk to me. We’re still married harry! I need to know if you want to continue to be married and work shit out, or officially call it quits and just divorce already!” 

“I don’t know!” I yell back at him. “I don’t know what I want, Louis! There’s so much going on! We have kids to think about.”

“Fuck what the kids want right now, harry! It’s about what you want, not what they want. I don’t want to be with you if you’re only with me because they want you to be! What do you want?!” 

“I said I don’t know! I don’t know what I want! I don’t have time to think about that shit.” 

“Here. I’ll make this easy for you. Do you love me?”

“Of course I do.”

“No harry. Do you REALLY love me?” He says. 

“Don’t question me when I say I do.” 

“Do you want to continue to spend the rest of your life with me?” 

“At the moment, no!” I say before I can stop myself. 

He nods. 

“There. The decision is made.”

“I said at the moment.” I say. 

“Well I don’t have time to just sit here and wait on your decision. I love you harry. So fucking much. It’s not fair to just have me on a back burner until you decide you want me again.”

“It’s not like you’ve got someone else waiting for you, Louis. You’re my husband. We’re fucking married. It’s not going to be easy deciding if I want to continue this or not. It’s not a two month relationship. It’s been over 5 years!” 

“You made your decision clear. If you don’t want to be with me, then I won’t force you. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of apologizing. I’m tired of this. So sick and tired of it. It’s unhealthy and I just think we need to both agree to just call it quits. We can’t even have a normal conversation anymore. It’s well past being over. I get that now. You will never trust me again. I’ll have my lawyer contact yours and we can sign the papers and get on with life.”

“It’s not that easy Louis! Whether you like it or not, we have kids together!! That’s a whole other legal battle.”

“Joseph is mine. Isabella is yours. You can see Joseph during the weeks during school and weekends during summers. Isabella can see me whenever she wants.”

“You think I’d give up my rights to my child like that? Joseph is as much as mine as he is yours. When you sign up to marry me and have a kid with me, it works that way! I don’t care that he isn’t my blood. I helped raise him and he’s mine too. You aren’t just making decisions like that without my thoughts and suggestions!” 

“Fine! We will just see each other in fucking court then because I’m not giving him up either!” 

“Fine!” I scream at him. 

He grabs the front door knob. 

“Just keep walking out of my life! I’m use to it, don’t worry!!” I yell. 

He throws the door open. 

“You’re the one who walked out of mine!” 

“Because you pushed me! Now get the fuck out.” 

He slams it closed and I stare at the door. I feel my heart break more and I cover my face as I sit. I hear crying from the kids room and I know they could hear us. I’m shaking hard and trying my best not to break down. I take a few deep breaths before standing and going to their room to calm them down too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! I got some motivation from a few readers to keep going. I’m going to try to turn it around to how I wanted it to end. Let me know your thoughts, please. I don’t know how many chapters I will post but maybe a few more. Anyways. Thank you for sticking around, if you’re still here (:


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for all the feedback (: once again, I didn’t preread, sorry! 
> 
> Also, you’re welcome in advance (:

When my alarm goes off in the morning, I quickly turn it off. I sigh and look around. I’m sitting on the sofa with Joseph asleep on me. He was up practically all night crying and having nightmares. I’m exhausted. I got to sleep only 2 hours ago. It took my forever to calm him. He was crying for Louis and saying he wanted both of us to lay with him. He finally exhausted himself. I get up carefully and lay him on the couch. He whines and moves some before going still. I quietly walk out to wake Bella up. I get her school clothes out and lay them on her bed. I get a quick shower before getting dressed for the day too. When I’m ready, I make Bella a bowl of cereal. I check on Joseph and he’s still knocked out on the couch. He’ll be out for awhile. Bella finishes and I get her and Joseph to the car and drop her off at school. I have first period off so I can take Joseph to Louis’ before. 

“Daddy..” I hear him whine. 

“Yes, baby?” I say. 

“I’m sleepy.” 

“I know. You can sleep. We’re almost to boos. You can sleep when you’re there too.” I say. 

“You’ll stay?”

“No. I have work today.” I say. 

I look back at him and he’s frowning. 

“Go back to sleep. You need some rest.” I say. 

He just looks out the window and still frowns. 

He’s back asleep by the time I pull into Louis’ place. I park and get out. I unbuckle him and carry him to the door. I knock and Louis opens it a bit later. 

“He’s asleep. He’ll be out for awhile.” I say quietly. 

He nods and let’s me in. I follow him to Joseph’s room and lay Jojo down on his bed. I cover him and look at Louis. He’s just watching us. I kiss Jojos head before walking out. I close the door quietly behind me. I look at Louis but he’s looking at the floor. I sigh some and grab his wrist before leading him to the sofa. 

“I want to talk. No arguing. Just talking.” I say. 

He nods some. It’s quiet for a bit. 

“I love you. You know that. Don’t ever question that, because I will always love you. Of course I want to be with you, Louis. I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t want to be. We’re going through something weird right now. I don’t want to get divorced. That’s the last thing on my mind. When I said I don’t want to be with you right now, that doesn’t mean permanently. I want to always be with you but it’s hard right now. I don’t think you understand all the heart ache and emotional trauma I’ve been through the last few months. I just need time, Lou. I can’t think straight anymore. It’s too much for me and I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t just get time.” I say. 

He’s watching me carefully but I see his eyes watering. He looks down when I’m done talking. 

“I don’t want you to leave me.” He says quietly. 

His eyes find mine again as a tear falls. I move closer to him without thinking. 

“I love you so much. It’s been killing me to not talk to you or have you around, harry. I want to make things right, but I can’t. I don’t know what to do.” He says. “You’re my husband...my fucking husband and I’ve hurt you so bad. I hate myself every day for it and I swear I’ll never forgive myself. I love you so much, harry. I know I fucked up, I know I did.” 

I grab his hand to comfort him some. 

“I need time. You need time. We have a lot to discuss. I know I’m being stubborn, but it’s for my own sanity.” He says. 

He just looks down as he cries. 

“Hey.” I say and nudge him some. 

He shakes his head, refusing to look at me. My heart breaks more. 

“Look at me please, babe.” I say. 

His eyes meet mine and I feel like I could burst from heart ache. 

“I’m so sorry..” he says. “I love you so much.” 

I don’t know what comes over me, but I can’t stop myself before grabbing his face and pressing my mouth to him. Seeing him cry and be this upset really hurts. I don’t want him to be like this. 

He instantly kisses me back as we breath each other in. I hold his face to mine as our lips press hard. It’s well over due and I feel so addicted right away. I don’t want to stop. 

His hands move to my neck and hair as I move my lips on his. I move my tongue to his mouth without much permission and I feel him melt against me. He starts pulling on my hair and pressing his mouth harder. I know that means he’s getting turned on and wants more. I’m not going to deny him. Maybe this is something we need right now. No fighting, just feeling and appreciating each other. I know he fucked up and I know I have too, but this is just needed. 

“Let’s go to your room.” I say. 

“Our room.” He mumbles. 

I pull him to stand with me but he doesn’t want to detach. His mouth is all over my neck and face, like he can’t get enough. I reach down and pick him up. He gasps some as he holds tightly and wraps his legs around me. I stumble my way to the room and shut the door. I slam him back against it when it’s shut. He moans and presses his mouth to mine. 

“Don’t wake joseph. He isn’t about to interrupt us.” He says. 

“He was up all night. He won’t be awake for awhile. Now shut up. I only have a bit and want to fuck you so badly.” I say. 

He moans again and kisses me harder. I turn us around and go to the bed before dropping him onto it. He lays there watching me with hungry eyes and I swear I’ve never been so turned on in my whole life. Never wanted him as much as I do now. I rip my shirt off before crawling up his body and connecting our lips again. I grab his shirt and hike it up some so I can feel at his torso. I look down at his skin and watch as I feel. He lifts his hips some so he presses his hard on to mine. I smile some and lean down to bite his nipple. He squeals some and his hips jerk more. 

“Come on. Stop teasing.” He says. 

I grab the top of his joggers and pull them down. I moan when I see he isn’t wearing boxers. He lays hard against his stomach and I feel my mouth water. He spreads his legs some as an invitation for me to go there. I don’t even hesitate before I’m grabbing his legs and lifting them some. My mouth is on his bum and I just start eating at him as hard and quickly as I can. He moans out loudly and tenses up. His heals dig into my shoulders as I work. I’ve missed this so much. It’s been far too long. It’s my favorite. 

“Fuck. I’ve missed this.” I mumble against him. 

“More. More.” He pants out. 

I spit on his hole and rub my finger against it. This is so dirty. All of it. It’s Louis though. Nothing with him is actually dirty. I know he’s loving it too. 

I press my finger in and continue my tongue on his hole as I start working him open. I make sure to keep him slick so it doesn’t hurt, even though he probably deserves it. He hisses when I push a second finger in but moans and relaxes when I curl them. His hands are squeezing my hair tightly and I feel like he’s going to rip it out. That means I’m doing a good job though. 

“‘M ready. Please. Ready.” He mumbles. 

I don’t question him. I’m far too turned on. I want to be inside him right now. It’s been months. I’ve never needed something so much in my whole life. I lean back to sit on my feet and he’s up and feeling at me quickly. His hands roam all over my body until they find my belt. He starts undoing it as he kisses and licks at my skin. He swipes his tongue under the band of my boxers and my stomach turns when I think about what’s about to come. 

He in buckles my pants and unzips them. I take over and move so I can get them off quickly. His hands are back on me, stroking me tightly. I hum some and reach into the side table, hoping to find lube. My hand hits the small tube and I pull it out just as he sucks me into his mouth. My eyes roll back slightly and I feel myself tense at the feeling. I look down to watch him work on me. He makes it look so effortless but feel amazing. He’s far too god at this. Always been too good. 

“Want to fuck You.” I say and pull at his hair. 

He pulls off and turns around so his ass is facing me. I moan as he shows himself. 

“Fuck, Lou.” I say. 

“Come on.” He says and shakes his ass. 

I slap at it as I move to kneel behind him. I open the lube and pour some down myself and spread it out so I’m coated well. I rub some against his bum and push two fingers in. I see his toes curl as he groans slightly. 

“Get in me already.” He says. 

I laugh some and toss the tube aside. I move closer and rub my tip against him. 

“Hm. I don’t think you actually deserve it. Should just make you suck me off then get yourself off.” I say. 

He looks back at me quickly and glares. 

“I mean. You are the reason we’re in this fucked up situation anyways.” I say as I watch my tip rub his hole. 

He turns and shoves me back. I fall some onto the pillows and he’s quickly on me, straddling me. I smirk at him as he reaches between us and grabs me at my base. 

“I’ll use this perfect dick of yours if I want, and quite frankly, I really want to so just shut up and let me get us off since you’re too stubborn to do it.” He says. 

I laugh some as I watch him. I put my hands behind my head. 

“By all means..ride me good then, baby.” I say. 

He lines me up at his hole before carefully sitting. I only used two fingers to prep him so he’s still quite tight and it feels way too perfect. I try to keep my smug expression, but it’s hard when I have a perfect ass surrounding me right now. A perfect ass that I married and that is all mine. 

All of the anger, heart ache, and sadness is gone when he starts riding me like his life depended on it. He’s sooo filthy with his movements and I’ve never seen him ride me like this before. It’s like he’s trying to prove a point. I don’t know what that is, but it’s well proven. 

We’re both complete messes and I’m sure Joseph is gonna wake up, but neither of us seem to care. His nails dig into my chest as he moves. I trust up as best as I can at this angle to help him a bit. He leans up and pulls at his own hair before his right hand drops to his dick. He strokes himself quickly in time with his bounces. I reach down and move his hand away. His eyes jerk open and he looks at me. I flip the roles around quickly and have him back on his hands and knees in front of me. 

“No, sweetheart. You’re cumming from my dick only.” I say before pushing back into him. 

He moans and I grab his arms before pulling them behind his back. His head drops to the mattress and it’s just his ass in the air. 

“Fuck, Harry. When did you get so dirty?!” He moans loudly. 

“You really piss me off. Can’t help it.” 

He just sobs out a moan as I slam into his sweet spot. 

“Gonna cum. Gonna cum!” He warns. 

I keep both of his wrists held behind his back with one hand. I reach down and jerk his head up some by his hair. It’s like all of my aggression towards him is coming out right now and it’s the best way to release it. He clenching tightly around me within second after I jerk his hair. He sobs out again as I shove him over the edge for an intense orgasm. He’s moaning way too loudly, but it only edges me closer to my release. I feel my stomach start to burn and my body twitch some. I don’t slow my hips, even when I know he’s coming down and probably way too sensitive. He’s so good for me and doesn’t complain. He only whines and moans into the mattress. I feel my stomach tighten more. Right before I hit my high, I pull out and flip him over. I crawl up his body and straddle his chest before quickly jerking myself off in his face. It happened so quickly that he didn’t have time to catch it all. My release makes a complete mess on his face and I just let my head drop back as I let the feeling crash through me. I hold his hair tightly as I jerk myself. He’s holding my thighs tightly as I work myself through. When I start to come down, I look down at him. He’s got cum everywhere and it’s so dirty, but hot. I’ve never done this before to him, but I’m kind of obsessed with how he looks. His tongue slips out and swipes some off beside his lips. My body twitches when I see him do that. I move forward and press my tip to his lips. He opens quickly and let’s me slowly push myself in and out. He sucks tightly and it perfect for the remainder of the afterglow of my orgasm. He licks around my tip and swallows a few drops that come out. I eventually move always and lay beside him. It’s silent as we both breathe heavily. 

“what the fuck.” He says suddenly. “Fuck!” 

He grabs at his hair and pulls it some. I look at him, unsure of what’s happening. He looks at me. 

“Harry fuck. That was the best sex we’ve ever had. What the fuck.” He says. 

I laugh some and turn to hide my face in his shoulder. 

“You’re so hot. I can’t believe I’m married to someone who fucks that good.” He says. 

I only smile more as I hide from him. 

“You can’t be embarrassed when you just fucked me like that.” He says. 

I look back up at him. He’s still got cum on his face. I reach up and wipe it off. 

“You’re a mess.” I say. 

“No thanks to you.” He says. 

“Shut up.” I say. 

“Please do that every time. That was so hot.” He says. 

I move my face back to his shoulder. He laughs and grabs it. 

“Hey.” He says lightly. 

He moves so he’s face to face with me. He rubs my cheek gently as we just stare at each other. 

“Will you go on a date with me?” He asks. 

I give him a weird look. 

“I think you’re proper fit and I want to take you on a date. Anywhere you’d like. I’ll treat you to the most fanciest place in all of London if that’s what you want. Wanna spoil you.” He says. 

I smile some. 

“Wanna date you, then probably marry the fuck out of you one day and have lots of babies with you. Would you have a baby with me?” He asks. 

I laugh some as I watch him. 

“Because you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and I want to be with you. I’m Louis by the way. You’re so perfect. You’d be the best husband and father. Let me take you out.” He says. 

“Louis. What are you doing?” I ask with a laugh. 

“Starting over. We need a clean start. Especially after what you just did to my face.” He says. 

I groan and try to hide my face in his neck. 

“One date. I’ll even have you home by 10.” He says. 

“Louis.” I say with a smile. 

“Harry I want to be with you. Spend the rest of my life with you. Give me one more chance. If I fuck up again, you can walk. I just want one more chance with you. Fresh start. We can take it slow. One date night a week and it can be your choice where we go. We don’t even have to have sex. Start real fresh. Go so slow.” He says. 

“Well I wouldn’t mind sex...” I say. 

“I won’t either if it’s like that.” He says. 

I roll my eyes but I can’t help the smile I have. 

“I love you so much. I just want to make things right between us. Not for the kids, but for us. I’m so in love with you and want you in my life forever. I’ll do anything to fix what I’ve broken.” 

I lean forward to kiss him gently. 

“I wanna have a family date night. That’s what the kids deserve. We can work on us in between.” 

“Really?” He asks. 

I nod. 

“I love you, Louis. I can’t live another day without you in my life. I’m so stupid and stubborn as fuck. I married you. You’re my husband. I know we can work through this. I just needed time, baby. That’s all. But I promise to give you a fair chance and not dwell on the past. Let’s just forget it and start over.” I say. 

He kisses me again. 

“Hi Louis, I’m Harry. I’d love for you to take me on a date, but I’m bringing my kids with me. They’re great. You’ll love them. Especially my son. He’s adorable as fuck but a little shit. Gets it from his father.” I say. 

He’s got the biggest smile on his face. 

“Yea. That sounds good. I miss my family.” He says. 

I kiss him again gently. 

“I’ve gotta go though. I’m sure I’m really late.” I say. 

“Can’t you stay? Let’s both call in. I think another round is needed.” 

I laugh a little. 

“I’d love that, but I can’t. Soon, yea?” I say. 

He nods and kisses me. 

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” I say. 

I kiss him again before pulling myself away. I go to the bathroom to clean myself up so I won’t spoil my boxers from my lube and cum covered dick. I get dressed and he lays in bed watching me with a cute smile on my face. I tie my shoes before moving my face to his. 

“I’ll see you tonight?” I ask. 

He nods and gives me a lazy kiss. I pat his chest before leaving. I can’t stop the stupid grin I have on my face. Luckily the school had a fire drill before my class, so I made it in time for us to go back inside without anyone knowing I was late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh!!!! That’s soooo weird for me to write. So different. I never write smut like that lol. Sorry if it’s shit. Anyways yayyyy!! Things are back on track kind of! 
> 
> Hope you all liked this chapter. Please let me know your thoughts! I’d love to hear !!


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii (: hope you enjoy .xx

Bella is in my last class on the day. She gets in early before the others get in and walks to me. I’m sitting at my computer trying to print papers when she leans against me. 

“Hi baby.” I say before kissing her head. 

She moves me some so she can sit on my lap. I pause me work for a second. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask as I move my arms around her. 

She holds me close as her head lays against my chest. 

“I’m so sleepy. I couldn’t sleep. Jojo was loud.” She says. 

“I know, sweetheart.” I say before rubbing her head. 

“I miss boo..” She says. “I just want you all happy again and to stop fighting. I don’t like that at all. Youre my daddy and he’s my boo. I want you all to love each other again.” 

“Baby you know we love each other.”

“Do you?” She asks and looks at me. 

“Of course. He’s my husband. I love him very much. Couples go through weird times like this.”

“Can’t you just forgive him already? He’s very sorry. I know he is. Please just forgive him and be happy again.” 

“Sweetheart, I wish it was that easy. I’m really trying. I promise.” I say. 

She just looks down. 

“Hey.” I say and nudge her chin.

She looks back up. 

“We’re going to see him after class today.” I say. 

Her face lights up. 

“We are?” She asks. “You’re coming too?”

I nod. 

“Yes. We’re going to see him and Jojo. Boo and I had a talk today and we’re trying to forgive each other. Spend more time as a family.” I say. 

She hugs me tightly and I didn’t miss the piercing smile on her face. 

“I can’t wait. I love boo so much. I love when you all are together.”

“Me too. I love when we’re all together.” I saw. 

She nods. I hear the bell ring and rub her back some. 

“Alright, Love. Class will start soon.” I say. 

She nods and leans back. She kiss my cheek before moving from me. Kids start coming in and I continue to print worksheets off for them to do. 

——

We get to Louis’ after school and I knock on the door. Bella bounces some as she stands beside me. I rub her head and smile at her. The door opens and Louis is there. He’s on the phone but still smiles. He moves forward to kiss my cheek as Bella hugs him tightly around the waist. 

“Sorry. I’m almost done.” He says quietly. 

“It’s fine.” I say. 

We go inside and Jojo gasps when he sees us. 

“Daddy!!” He yells. 

He gets up and runs to me. He jumps at me when he’s almost to me and I catch him. 

“I missed you today!” He says. 

“I missed you too, baby.” I say. 

He’s holding me tight and I don’t think he’s gonna let go for a bit. I sit on the sofa as Louis disappears upstairs. I’m sure to finish work. 

“How was your day?” I ask. 

“Fun. Boo and I played today.” He says. 

“Good. I brought homework for you.”

“Ew.” He says. 

I laugh some. 

“We can work on it Sunday. How’s that sound?” 

He nods and moves back some so he can see me. 

“Are you sleeping over tonight?” He asks. 

“I don’t know yet.” I say. 

“We should have a sleepover.” He says. 

“We’ll see, love.” I say and poke his nose. 

“I heard you and boo playing this morning. Are you all happy now? You always play like that when you’re happy.” He says. 

My eyes widen.

“Joseph. You don’t need to worry about that Alright? That’s adult stuff.”

He frowns some at me. 

“I was just asking..” 

“I know but that’s between boo and I. Nothing to do with you.” I say. 

He looks down at his lap. I sigh some. 

“Why don’t you and sissy go play for a bit and I’ll figure out what to do for dinner.” I say. 

He nods and I move him from my lap. They walk off and I go upstairs to find Louis. He’s in his room at his desk. He’s looking at his laptop and he’s not on the phone anymore. I go behind him and kiss his neck as I wrap my arms around him. 

“Your son heard us this morning.” I say as I lay my chin on his shoulder. 

“I know. He was awake when you left. Came into the room not soon after.”

“Hm. Maybe if you weren’t so loud, he wouldn’t have woken up.” I say. 

“Can’t help it. My husband fucks way too good.” He says. 

I smile and he kisses my cheek again. I turn my head so I can give him a proper kiss. He hums some and I smile. 

“I love you so much.” He says. 

“I love you too, Lou.” I mumble against his lips. 

“Yea? You promise?”

“Wouldn’t fuck you like that if I didnt.” I say, gaining some confidence. 

He smiles and gives me a wet kiss. 

“Keep it up, and I’ll lock us in here all night.” He says. 

“Kids are here.” I say. 

He shrugs. 

“Never stopped us before.” 

“Filthy.” I whisper before moving back. 

I stand and hold onto his shoulders. I massage at them. He looks up at me with a smile. 

“You all will stay this weekend?” 

“Maybe. If you’re good.” I say. 

“I can be extra good. Want me to prove it?” He asks and stands so he’s facing me. 

I give him a suspicious look. He locks the door and backs me up some. 

“Louis the kids are just downstairs.”

“Then be quiet.” He says and pushes me down onto the bed. “Gonna suck you off real fast.” 

He starts pulling at my belt and I just lay back and let it happen. I won’t exactly turn a blow job down. I’m far too sexually frustrated right now to say no.

It doesn’t take much to get me off. It’s quick and too good for just a blow job, but whatever. Louis puts me back in my pants as I lay there trying to come down. He zips me back up and pats my crotch. 

“I’ll use him for my own good later.” He mumbles. 

I smile and he crawls up to lay his head on my chest. I move my arms to hold him. It’s quiet as I catch my breath and calm myself. He looks up at me. 

“Next week I have to go to France. It’s at the end of the week. You should meet me there Friday night and spend the weekend with me. Just us, maybe.” He says. 

He traces my necklace laying on my chest. 

“Lottie can watch the kids. It’ll be nice. I really would like proper alone time with you and I think a nice trip to Paris would be fun. Just for the weekend.” He says. 

I nod some. 

“I’ll think about it, yea? Let’s see how this weekend goes.” I say. 

He nods and kisses me gently. 

“Ok, love.” He says. 

“Let’s go to dinner tonight, though. Too tired to make dinner myself and I know you won’t do it.” I say. 

“Awe. Big boy can’t handle two orgasms in one day?” 

“Keep it up and you won’t get your second one later.” I say. 

He brings his face back to mine and kisses me again. 

“Already got it in the shower today when Joseph was napping.” He whispers against my lips. 

I smile and shake my head. 

“So so filthy.” 

“So maybe a third later?” He asks. 

“We’ll see. Behave yourself and I might make that happen, although I’m sure one little boy might end up with us tonight. You can break his heart if you’re going to make him sleep in his own bed.” I say. 

“He’ll be alright.” He says. 

I laugh some and give him one more kiss before smacking his bum lightly. 

“Ok. Let’s go. I’m hungry.” I say. 

He nods and moves away. I situate my clothes some and wash up before we head downstairs. Bella and Joseph are coloring on the coffee table in their coloring books. 

“Want to go to dinner?” I ask. 

“Pizza!!!” Joseph yells. 

I look at Louis and laugh a bit. 

“Well. You heard the boy. Looks like we’re getting pizza.” I say. 

He nods and picks Joseph up. 

“I think that sounds amazing, Jojo. Good choice.” He says and kisses his cheek. 

Joseph giggles and hides his face in Louis neck. We head out to my car and buckle up. We go to the pizza buffet down the road and get a table. 

“Can I get a sprite, daddy?” Bella asks. 

“You sure can, love.” I say. 

“Can I get one too?” Joseph asks. 

“You don’t like soda.” Louis says. 

“Sissy is getting it, so I want it too.” He says. 

“How about you get a lemonade and sissy will let you have a few sips of hers? How’s that sound?” I say and rub his head. 

They both smile and nod. I order their drinks and a water for me. Lou orders a water too and we head to the buffet after. There’s a bit of a line, so we have to wait. Joseph reaches for me and I lift him. He lays his head on my shoulder. 

“Did my boy not get enough sleep today?” I ask as I rub his head. 

He shakes his head. 

“He woke up right after you left and only napped for about a half hour today. Just enough for me to squeeze in a shower.” Louis says. 

“Well. You can go to bed when you get home.” I say. 

“I want to play with you and boo, though.” He says as he moves back some so he can see me. 

“Sissy and I will be here all weekend. You’ve got plenty of time to play.” I say. 

He smiles and hugs me. 

“Yay!” He says. 

I smile and Louis leans over to kiss his cheek a few times. 

“Can I sleep with you and boo tonight?” 

I glance at Louis.

“We aren’t going to bed when we get home.” Louis says. 

“But I’m sleepy.” He says. 

“How about I lay with you in your bed for a bit until you go to sleep.” Louis says. 

“You’ll read me a story?” He asks. 

“Of course. Anything for my sweet boy.” Louis says. 

Joseph smiles widely at him and nods. 

“Ok. But tomorrow I’ll sleep with you all.”

“We’ll see, love.” He says. 

Joseph hugs me tighter and moves to hide his face in my neck. 

“Just don’t fall asleep before we eat.” I say. 

“I won’t. Just resting.” He says. 

I rub his back. Louis leans his head over against my shoulder and I smile at him. 

“I’m sleepy too, daddy. Jojo cried all night.” Bella says and leans against me. 

“Well you can get some sleep when we get home too.” I say. 

She nods and rubs her eye. 

“All my babies are so sleepy.” I say. 

Louis laughs some and leans up. 

“Long day.” He says. 

“Hey faggots. Line is moving. Stop holding it up.” I hear someone behind us say. 

Louis’ head whips around as he looks at the guy standing a few people back. The line has barely moved at all, so I don’t know what his problem is. 

“What was that buddy?” Louis asks. 

I grab his arm. 

“Louis. Don’t.” I say. 

He jerks his arm away. 

“You heard me. You faggots need to move up or get the hell out of the way.” He says. 

Joseph looks up some at the guy. Everyone is looking at him. 

“Don’t call us that, you bastard. We’re normal people just like you, so go fuck yourself.” Louis says. 

“Louis!” I say. 

“No. This guy isn’t going to disrespect us in front of our kids and strangers because he wants to be some ignorant dick.” 

“What did you say?”

“I said you’re an ignorant dick!” Louis says. 

“Stupid faggot. Go shove a dick up your ass somewhere else. This is a family friendly restaurant and I don’t want to see your gay shit in here. Disgusting.” 

“Hey! Knock it off and just leave them alone.” Some other guy says. 

“Yea. They aren’t hurting anyone.” A woman says. 

“Well they’re hurting me. There’s kids around and they’re hanging all over each other. It’s gross.”

“Well too bad! He’s my husband and I can hang on him if I want! Now shut your mouth and leave us alone so we can enjoy a nice family evening like the rest of these people came to do.” 

“How about you come back here and make me shut my mouth you stupid fairy.” 

I grab the front of louis’ shirt and push him back. Joseph whines and hides his face. Isabella has a tight grip on my shirt too. 

“Louis stop it!” I yell at him. “We’re trying to teach our son to not use violence when people have something rude to say about us! This isn’t proving anything to him! Stop!”

“Awe. Your daddy won’t let you come over here and try to shut up another guy?” 

“Just knock it off! We’re not bothering anyone. Just leave us alone. You’re upsetting our kids.” I say to the guy. 

“They’re not your kids! You can’t have babies together you dumb shit.”

Louis breaks away from me and goes after the guy. Joseph screams and it gets loud quickly. The guy that stood up for us stands between them and holds them back from each other. I set Joseph down quickly and grab Louis. 

“Hey! What’s going on here!!” An employee yells. “Stop!”

I pull Louis back and stand in front of him. I put my hand on his chest to stop him from getting at the guy. 

“This guy is bothering this family and being completely homophobic and disrespectful!” The lady from before yells. 

“Get this guy out of here!” Someone else says. 

The employee motions someone over and it looks like the manager. 

“What’s going on?” 

“That piece of-“

“Louis!” I say. 

He just glares at the guy. 

“We were standing in line and that guy started yelling rude things at us because we’re two guys who are married and he didn’t like that. He was yelling rude slurs at us and upsetting our children.” I say. “Tried fighting my husband.”

The manager looks at the guy. 

“You need to get out of here. This restaurant doesn’t discriminate against anyone, no matter their race, gender, or sexuality. We won’t stand for this at all. You need to leave and if you want to argue, I’ll call the police to have you escorted out.” 

“This is crazy! You faggots are the ones ruining this world! I can’t wait to have my lawyer after this business. Fuck you.” 

“Sir that’s enough! Get out!” 

He rolls his eyes and walks out. Everyone starts cheering when he leaves. I look at Louis and he looks pissed still. 

“It’s ok. He’s gone now, so try to calm down.” I say quietly to him. 

He looks at Joseph and picks him up because he’s crying. He hugs him close to him. 

“I’m so sorry that this happened. Is there anything we can do to make your visit here better?” The manager says.

“No it’s fine. He’s gone, so that’s all that matters.” 

He nods. 

“I’m so sorry, once again. Your meals are on us tonight, so please have all you want.” 

“Thank you so much. You don’t have to do that.” I say. 

“No worries. Please enjoy your dinner and let me know if I can help you all with anything else.” 

I nod and thank him again before leaving. I reach over and grab Joseph. 

“Why don’t you go to the toilet and calm down? Throw some water on your face.” I say. 

He nods some and walks off. 

“Alright baby. What do you want to eat?” I asks and shake Joseph some. 

He whines and doesn’t look. I sigh and grab a plate. I grab pizza for him and Bella gets what she wants. I go sit down and sit Joseph in his chair. He sniffs and I wipe his face. 

“Eat baby, it’s ok.” I say. 

He nods and grabs his pizza. He chews at it and I sit down. Bella eats quietly too. Louis comes back shortly and kisses my cheek. 

“Go get food. I’ll wait with them.” He says as he sits. 

I nod and go grab me a plate. Dinner is quiet and uncomfortable. We tip the waitress even though we didn’t have to pay, then head out. As I unbuckle Joseph when we get home, he speaks up. 

“Daddy. Why did he say you and Boo couldn’t have babies together when you had sissy and I? Timmy from school said that too.” He says. 

I sigh some. 

“Love, that’s a hard question. You’re too young to understand.” I say.

“No I’m not. I’m a big boy.” He says. 

I just lift him up and carry him inside. He holds me tightly. I go sit on the couch and tell Louis to come sit. He comes over and sits beside me. I have Joseph in my lap. Bella goes to get pjs she has here at Louis’ place.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. 

“We need to have a talk with him.” I say. 

“I know I was out of line, but-“

“It’s not about that.” I say. 

He gives me a weird look. I turn Joseph around in my lap so his back is to me. 

“He was asking why the guy at the restaurant and Timmy from school said we can’t have babies together, but we have him and Bella.” I say. 

“I’m a big boy. I want to know why.” He mumbles. 

Louis looks at me. I just watch him. 

“Love, that’s a confusing topic. You’re very young.” Louis says to Joseph. 

“I’m not! I’m a big boy!” He whines. 

Louis looks back at me. I just shrug some. 

“Well, darlin. What they said is true. Your dad and I are both boys. Like you. Have the same private bits. You know. Anyways, two boys can’t have a baby together. Only a boy and a girl can. And that’s ok. It’s not bad. Your daddy and I had to have a girl help us have you. Same with Bella. She’s not my real daughter, she’s your daddy’s daughter. You know that. He had to have a girl help him have Bella. When your dad and I got married and wanted another kid, we just had a girl help out. That’s normal. You are technically our child. Blood related.” He says. 

“Two boys and a girl can have a baby?” He asks. 

Louis looks at me and I’ve dreaded this talk with him but he’s asking. I’m not going to lie. 

“No, love. Only one boy and one girl can have a baby together.” I say. 

He gives me a confused look. 

“I already had a baby. I had Bella. Boo wanted a baby of his own too. So him and the girl had you. When you’re married and have to have help to get a baby, that’s fine. It’s normal when two guys want a family, or two girls. You are still my son, even though I didn’t help make you. I’m your dad because Louis and I made an agreement with the girl that you will be mine too. I’m on your birth certificate as your dad, just like boo. We both raised you as ours and legally and in my heart, you’re mine. Does this make sense?” I ask him. 

He shrugs. 

“You can have two dads. Just like Bella. Boo is a dad to her now too because we are married. She doesn’t have a mummy, like you. She had me, but when I met boo, she wanted him to be her dad too. So he is now.” I say. 

“I want you to be my daddy too.” He says. 

“And I am. I always will be. Boo and I are both your dads and nothing will ever change that. We love you so so much and you are just as much mine, as you are his.” I say. 

He nods some. 

“I know it’s hard to understand, but you will one day.” Louis says. 

“I don’t care if people say you can’t have babies. I have two daddies and no mummy so it’s true.” He says. 

“Right, baby. It’s what you think that matters. We love you.” I say and hug him. 

He smiles some and giggles. 

“Now why don’t you go get ready for bed so boo can read you a story?” I say. 

He nods and moves from my lap before hurrying upstairs. I sigh and Louis looks at me. 

“That was easier than I thought.” He says. 

I nod and move closer to him. He smiles and leans against me. I hug him close and kiss his head. 

“At least it didn’t upset him.”

“He’s just too young to really understand.” I say. 

“He’s a smart boy. Gets that from you.” He says. 

I smile and lay my head against his. 

“Doubt it. Your the dad who is making the big bucks at a huge company.”

“Easy job. You teach children about music everyday and teach ours about common sense and good morals.” 

“It’s a team effort, yea?” I say. 

He nods. 

“I like that.” He says. 

I just smile and hold him close to me. I’ve missed this. I hope it stays like this. Everything is going so well and I don’t want it to go to shit again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllooooo! Thank you for reading.  
> I’d love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. (:
> 
> ALSO!! Do you all like when I actually write out smut, or do you all prefer to have it just know that it happens, but not explained?! Because I can write in more, if that’s what you all want! Let me know (:


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